Archives for 2023

    It’s not too late to cut your 2022 tax bill.  Let’s say you normally dispense with the additional paperwork and take the standard $12,950 for individuals and $25,900 for married couples.   But with this new deduction you can easily surpass the standard amount.  Clarinet lessons.  One citizen deducted clarinet lessons as a medical expense stating the dentist said it would correct her child’s overbite.  The IRS approved the deduction.
    If you can rack up about $18,000 to $20,000 in music lessons you just might enjoy a surprise refund.
    No need to thank me.  All part of the service!

Do you mean to tell me that now, when we buy a roll of Nestlé’s Toll House Cookie Dough, we have to wait until it bakes in the oven before eating it? 
What are we, Tibetan Monks?  Who’s got that kind of willpower?

 
Vile courier of bacterial death or Yummy treat?
“Choose Wisely Dr. Jones!”

More hard-hitting investigative journalism from People Magazine!

It’s because their three kids, Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis are on a school break and the royals, with not much to do anyway, have retreated to their cottage in the country to take a hardly earned vacay.
Silly me thought it was because nobody gives a rat’s patoot about what they do with the 99% of their time that they spend idle. 

Just when it seemed there could be no news less interesting or important than the amazing revelation that Kourtney Kardashian eats in the (Yuk) bathroom, People Mag comes through!

The Covid Pandemic, war in the Ukraine, disastrous climate events have all made the citizens of the world more willing to help each other.  This is the conclusion of the latest World happiness report from the Sustainable Development Solutions Network, a United Nations organization.

I imagine he most notable exceptions are Washington, DC, and Palm Beach, Florida, where the citizens have no interest other than keeping their jobs, getting richer and combing their hair so you can’t see they are going bald.   

• Democrats and Republicans realize that our country is divided and have committed to redoubling their efforts to work together for the good of the country and will strive for equitable compromise solutions.
• Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune fans gain perspective on the shows, finally accepting the fact that they are simply GAME SHOWS and all the time spent accusing, criticizing and complaining on line speaks to their need to “get a life.”
• 8 Justices of The Supreme Court of the United States will henceforth base their decisions on the U.S. Constitution and not their personal religious beliefs.  The 9th Judge will acknowledge the validity of the rape accusation against him and resign.
• United States citizens will join the World Community by now calling soccer fútbol, football American Football. 
• In the spirit of cooperation we will adopt and adapt to the Metric System of measurement.
• I will quit whining and use this site for something constructive.

Here we go…Brace yourselves for the shocking dénouement:

APRIL FOOLS!

From The Grand Jury of New York, an updated version of an old classic; new lyrics written for a new generation:

“Indictment” Replacing the lyrics to the West Side Story signature song “Maria.“
The most beautiful sound I ever heard.
Indictment, Indictment, Indictment, Indictment.
All the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word.
Indictment, Indictment, Indictment, Indictment.
Say it loud and there’s music playing.
Say it soft and it’s almost like praying.
Indictment.
I’ll never stop saying Indictment!

Note:  In theory, a person is innocent until proven guilty.  An Indictment is not a conviction…yet.

I saw a list of non-extradition countries and was intrigued by number 9 on the list, Vatican City.  It’s near Italy, rich in art and architecture and with its close proximity to Italy, you are never far from a gelato shop.  I just wonder about the cost of living and are they a “Jewish Friendly” community?

Wondering why am I googling countries with no extradition to the US?  Simply researching a book, (that sounds good, right?) or asking for a friend; pick one.

The Dodo, (Raphus cucullatus), one of the three species that constituted the family Raphidae, was thought to be extinct by 1681 (17th century). The dodo is frequently cited as one of the most well-known examples of human-induced extinction.

It now appears that a mutant relative of the Dodo, the DumDum (Bad Comboverus Buttmuncheus) is alive and thriving in Palm Beach, Florida.  In a state filled with Palmetto bugs, alligators, snakes, humidity and (ick) the DeSantis creature, who’s going to care about one more slimy DumDum?

(Editor’s Note): Fred acknowledges this is a cheesy post, again slamming the world’s most slam-able cretin, but he has a dental appointment today and has to take it out on someone.

This list from The Good Trade covers just about anything you can do other than sit mesmerized gazing into your phone.  But the following four activities captured my interest:

1. ( #2) Write a Poem:
   • Violets are blue and Roses are red, original poetry on Betterfredthandead.  Done! (The astounding originality is how I turned the line around!)
2.  (#36)  Volunteer:
   • I tried but the Joyful Conclusions Massage Parlor is not currently accepting volunteers.
3.  (#64) Do Ten Push-Ups:
   • I have to work up to this but I only need 9 more; perhaps tomorrow?
4.  (#95) Go to the Park and People-Watch:
   • I went at midnight and there was only one other person at the park.  I watched him take my wallet…and watch.

But I agree there are many things to do better than gazing at your phone.  One notable omission from the list: Manscaping!

This is the title of an article by Dr. Roneet Lev, in the AISH Newsletter.  I clicked on the link and got the frowning page emoji telling me this site can’t be reached.

I guess the cannabis industry gets its wish.