Our investigators track down celebrities, both famous and infamous, to satisfy the curious lust of a consumer popultation that voraciously gobbles up gossip at record speeds. Today we have uncovered the whereabouts of the publicity-shy icon of magic HARRY POTTER!
No surprise. We found him hiding in plain sight.
Harry chose an innocuous pseudonym, Daniel Radcliffe, and has become, much to his chagrin, a sought after actor, gaining more exposure than he anticipated. He was last seen in public displaying his naughty bits on the Broadway Stage in the role of Alan Strang in EQUUS.
Still unknown is why a babe like Hermione chose Ron Weasley over him leaving Daniel (Harry) to settle for Ginny. Judging from his role in the play it was not due to any anatomical problem.