October 16th, National Dictionary Day honoring the birth of Noah Webster in 1758. The writer and textbook publisher is best known for the modern Merriam-Webster dictionary, which was first printed in 1828 under a different name: An American Dictionary of the English Language. There are celebrations planned around the country by many different groups:
- Democrats will use all the big words and then do nothing.
- Republicans will burn the blasphemous books in blazing bonfires.
- The droid from Georgia’s 14th district will boycott any celebration as she believes there is only one good book; “Mein Kampf.”
- The Bevis doppelganger in Florida will look up the word “Pedophile.”
- An ex-president will continue his campaign to get the words “bigly” and “Yooge” added.
And, as always, life will go on.