SPOILER ALERT: Hamburgers, Fried Chicken, Pizza, Potatoes and Gravy are NOT on the list.
But, as part of a balanced diet, you may munch away to your heart’s content on the following:
Celery, Lettuce, Watermelon, Broccoli, Cauliflower, Grapefruit, Mushrooms, Strawberries, Blackberries, Raspberries, Blueberries, Kiwi, Carrots, Spinach and Kale.
MMMM! You won’t know good eatin’ ’til you’ve gathered around Grannie’s iron kettle next to the cement pond out back and tasted her cauliflower, kiwi, carrot and kale stew! And who needs salad dressing when you have celery and lettuce?
“What’s in a name? That which we call a kiwi by any other name would taste just as icky.”
This culturally insignificant, Shakespearean Adjacent Moment brought to you by The Daily Inflammation on Betterfredthandead.com. A website that has apparently run out of creativity and humor.
Let’s put this behind us and move forward. Have a piece of cake and we’ll try again tomorrow!