The story you are about to read is true, or so I am told by a reliable source; one who can always be counted on to lie. But truth is overrated, (see president elect and fact-checkers on Facebook).
St. John Frogbottom IV counted the days until he was old enough to change the name that he so deeply hated. For some reason his father St. John Frogbottom III loved it and relished in telling anyone his name, always heavily accenting each of the three syllables, FROG-BOT-TOM. He also took pleasure in correcting those who mispronounced his first name; “NOT Saint John but sin-juhn!”
I am not sure exactly when and what precipitated the change of heart but at some point before adulthood SJF IV decided he too loved the name and came up with a new and better way to celebrate his good fortune. He founded and proudly served as the first President of the “Silly Names Society!” The Rose became the society’s symbol in homage to Shakespeare’s “What’s in a Name” quote from Romeo and Juliet.
Almost immediately the Society was inundated with applications for membership. There are no dues, no meetings, no time commitment; just peace and contentment in knowing you are not alone and the pride that goes with being special! We welcome the following new members to THE SILLY NAMES SOCIETY:
Nello Penello – E. Jack Cuelant – Polly Pigtrotter – Herbert Brakewind
Cedric Papshmearing – Lucille Hariballs – Harley & Carly Knightly-Hummers
Ivan Grczynskwikkno – Bella Daball – Spin Wrottencrotch – Hiram Bhuttsucker
Barnhardt Skidmarks – Adolph Turdstirrer – Soar Bong Whole Epidermis
Robert Jones (No one had the heart to tell him).
Be Proud – Own It – Embrace It: It Makes You YOU!