At 5:11 AM this morning I received the following anonymous text: “Your BTC Wallet has been funded with 10.1 Bitcoin ($598,546.08). Please login to confirm your balance.”
You can imagine my excitement to know I am now rich. I will login to collect soon but I have a few other email offers to get first:
- I need to order the tea that I drink 4 times a day and the weight melts off me without diet or exercise. I like my tea with fudge brownies ala mode.
- There is a pill I can get that does the same thing while I sleep at night.
- Yet another pill will enhance my anatomy so I can switch from boxer swim trunks to speedos and impress the ladies on the beach.
- Ordering a set of never need to sharpen Ginsu knives will allow me to toss tomatoes in the air and make perfect slices.
- A beautiful woman knows that we were meant to share true love…just send my American Express number for luck.
- A credit repair service can hide years of credit card abuse. Hopefully they can get me a new card to pay all my other bills.
- I can order a green elixir that will give me all the vitamins and anti-aging elements I need to live in perfect health at any age. Again no pesky exercise needed.
Dr. Oz, Have you been sneaking into mommy’s room and using her computer again? You are on a TIME-OUT!