World-renowned genital reconstructive surgeon Richard “Dick” X. Tender has pioneered a new surgery that will extend by 2 full inches the length of a man’s penis, thereby removing the main impetus for gun nuts pathological need to fondle an AR-15. They can regress to their childhood and spend the day fondling themselves like the good ol’ days! Hopefully the surgery will move the “gun nut soft spot” from their groin to their hearts.