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How Linda & Fred Made it 45 Years, Part 2, or How Dumb Can One Man Be?

06.25.2021 by Fred Berman //

Admittedly when I met Linda in 1973 the number of women I had known platonically, spiritually and biblically was very unimpressive by today’s “Anything Goes” standards.  But I was not totally uneducated, so I can’t blame inexperience. After dating for a very short time I learned Linda did not care to get gifts on holidays like St. Valentine’s Day, where retailers guilt the public into spending money to prove you care. She did, however, love gifts given for no other reason than that you saw something, thought of her and wanted her to have it. 

That was the spirit in which I gave her a frosted glass bottle of Jean Naté Friction Pour le Bain, After Bath Lotion. She was genuinely moved and asked what prompted such a thoughtful gift.  A relationship is based on truth, right?  So instead of one of a hundred answers I thought of later, “just wanted you to have something special for your bath,” I told the truth, explaining a previous girlfriend (yes, I said the name) had used it and I loved the scent.”  After the room immediately turned frostier than the bottle of lotion I soon realized my faux pas.  At that point there was no immediate fix so I slowly crept out of the room.  The bottle mysteriously disappeared, never to be seen or mentioned again. 

I had the good sense not to speak of this again; until now.  I am hoping after 45 years of marriage the Statute of Limitations on stupidity has passed and that we can all laugh about it!  Somebody look…is she laughing?  Too soon?

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