Reactionaries, racists, white supremacists and all-around douchebag wastes of humanity: This is your day to celebrate one of the darkest days in American History. This is the day we learned just how huge a percentage of American citizens are ignorant, hateful sheep, worshipping an insane Russian puppet bent on forming an oligarchy to feed his insatiable ego and serial narcissism, even at the cost of our tattered Constitution and dwindling freedom.
There is always hope. Perhaps during your celebration you will need help and there will be no one around familiar with the Heimlich Maneuver.