Rapidly approaching the end of my 72nd year and days speeding along faster than the Shinkansen from Tokyo to Osaka, I should be grateful for every moment I have on earth, not wishing time to pass quickly. But I do not care for the dog days of August and, even though I save for a year so I can afford to run my air conditioner full blast all month, I am very happy when we say goodbye to August; the month named by the first Roman emperor Augustus after himself.
So to you, August, I say adios, arrivederci, au revoir, vale, adeus, auf wiedersehen and sayonara.
And for you disappointed sun worshippers, (aka fans of leathery skin and melanoma), I offer you the same comfort I received after I was soundly rejected and publicly humiliated by my hoped for 6th grade girlfriend Melody, “You’ll get over it!”