Every morning I am greeted with over 100 new and wondrous messages in my email inbox. They include the following subject lines:
Bed, Bath and Beyond – Best Buy – Command Cooking – NPR Books – Victoria’s Secret (How did they get my email?) – Eat This Not That – CafePress – People News – Fareed’s Daily Briefing – Fox News Fair and Balanced Reporting (Just kidding, wanted to see if you were still reading) – National Geographic – Road Scholar – Pottery Barn (I am secure in my masculinity and not afraid to explore my feminine side, you handsome devil!) – Inspiring Quotes – International Living – Male Enhancement Products (They don’t really work…do they?) – Silver Singles and eHarmony (Tried 100 times to unsubscribe, really!) – WalkinTub for Seniors (Yeah, like I bathe) – Word Genius – Omaze – Robinhood Snacks – Tucker Carlson Eats Dog-Doo (Again kidding, but it does sound reasonable) – We Talk About Books – Amor Towles – Good Reads – Edgar Cayce A.R.E. – My Jewish Learning – Red Letter Christians – Quartz Daily Brief -AND MANY,MANY MORE! It’s a wonder that I find the time to squeeze in my 6 meals a day.
I’m still waiting for an email with the following subject line:
“Congratulations! Good News from Your Friends at the Lottery!”