Daily Inflammation

I received an offer I couldn’t refuse from Omaha Steaks.  I usually only buy the cheapest cuts of meat on sale at the market but for once in my life I wanted to see if aged prime beef really was better.  I paid a small fortune for a 6 ounce filet mignon aged 30 days.  I cooked it only 4 minutes on each side and it came out dry, tasteless and impossible to eat.

The pond scum at Omaha refused to give me a refund.  I don’t understand it.  Could there have been something wrong with my microwave?  I never had a problem before.  Bacon comes out fine.

“Who does either while driving, sleeps…with the fishes.”… Bruno Tattaglia

Amen.  

A beautiful quote from Albert Camus, an Absurdist philosopher, author, dramatist and journalist. He was awarded the 1957 Nobel Prize in Literature at the age of 44, the second-youngest recipient in history “for his important literary production, which with clear-sighted earnestness illuminates the problems of the human conscience in our times.”

After reading and pondering his many deep insights I can’t help but wonder why his last name is pronounced kam-moo and not kam-us?
Perhaps he is screwing with us?

I have decided to use my forum to seek out mysteries and answer questions that to date have never been answered.  Some may be unanswerable by mortal man, but at least I will put them out there so that The Universe will know man has awoken and is questioning his existence.  Many questions go back to the dawn of time, but I will start small and examine one conundrum that recently presented itself when I took over the grocery shopping during the Covid-19 lockdown.

Why do boneless, skinless sardines packed in water never go on sale?
I will know the truth!

And not because we need the flaunted wealth and privilege of a ceremonial ruling class; we don’t.
But we do need more grace and restraint and those traits in the royal family have passed with her.

And now the “Tell All” books begin.  (Let’s not buy them)

My good friend and confidant The Joker gave me this bit of wisdom many years ago and then sent me a bill for $200.  
I guess this is the good advice I just didn’t take.  I share with you this daily treasure trove of life-enhancing information for free.

But if a scary man with a clown’s face shows up at your door and asks for $200, I would pay him.  He is not as jovial as one might hope given his name and makeup.

This beautiful thought is from John Wooden, the legendary basketball coach of the UCLA Bruins. Nicknamed the “Wizard of Westwood”, he won ten National Collegiate Athletic Association national championships in a 12-year period including a record seven in a row.  Books have been filled with his wit and wisdom but the above quote speaks loudest to me so I make you all this solemn vow:
Whatever you give me or do for me I promise I will not ruin your perfect day by repaying you in cash or kindness.

You’re Welcome

I enjoy reading the “Thought for the Day” from the Edgar Cayce Association for Research and Enlightenment, former employer of some dear friends and Edgar himself, in his lifetime, a clairvoyant and Guru to the Woo Woo!”  The short messages tend to be stiffly worded and fall into one of two categories: No Duh! or Whaaat?

But the message today, with only 5 words, is right on.  Walking is the best, we need to do more, and it don’t cost nuthin’!  So, in the spirit of giving, today I share his message with you…What’s that?  Is that you Edgar?  Oh you are so welcome.  Always happy to help.  Take care and don’t be a stranger!

Listen up.  There will be a test.  Hahahaha!  A little levity to get the lesson started.

The shofar is blown in synagogue services on Rosh Hashanah and at the end of Yom Kippur; it is also blown every weekday morning in the month of Elul running up to Rosh Hashanah.  Here are a few things the ritual symbolizes:
(Shofar so good?)
   -It stirs our conscience as we lead up to the 10 days of penitence. (Are you with me shofar?)
  -A reminder of The Sinai Revelation; to practice the Commandments. (Interesting shofar?)
  -Reminds us of the ram Abraham’s offered as sacrifice instead of his son, Isaac. (Shofar as I know an Angel spared Isaac.)
  -Reminds us Judgement Day is coming when we will all be accountable for their deeds.  (Looking back on my life shofar, I may be in trouble).
  -Foreshadows the coming of the Messiah (Shofar we are still waiting but tomorrow is another day).

This reminds me of a story I heard where a very rich and devout man was ill and asked his wife to blow the shofar for him one morning.   She was a little puzzled but agreed.  When she didn’t return he went out to look for her and found her in the back seat of his limo with his driver. (Drum rimshot).

You may not think this is funny but it was standing room only when I headlined at Moshe’s Laff Factory in Tel Aviv!