Daily Inflammation

I read an article outlining the suggested 10 uses other than removing raspberry seeds from between your teeth.  They include cutting food, hanging pictures, replacing a shoelace, using as tinder (the fire starting kind, not the awesome app), and detaching sticky cookies from the pan.   

They seemed to have missed the most obvious alternate use.  I envision a perfect high-fashion bikini for use on the beaches in Saint-Tropez, Ipanema and Venice. (Venice California; Italy will do me no good).

Must I be the one to think of everything?

Beautiful, intricate webs are not the only things spiders may weave. Spiders may dream.  A research team led by behavioral ecologist Daniela Roessler at The University of Konstanz in Germany shows that jumping spiders (evarcha arcuata) experience a sleep-like state with muscle twitches and rapid-eye-movements (REM) similar to those observed in dreaming humans.

I can imagine what wonderous fantasies the male spiders might spin while sleeping:

• Wrapping their eight legs around Angelenidae Jolie?
• Making scrambled eggs for Mygalomorphe Gadot in the morning?
• Getting tangled up in the silk sheets with Ctenizidae Theron?
• Watching Jennifer Arachnidson arise to her “walk of shame” home?
• A brief, anonymous encounter with Marissa Tomei? (Oh, sorry, that one was all me).

So next time you encounter a spider in your home at least check if his eyes are fluttering.  If so let him finish…then crunch him.  At least he’ll go out happy!

It met with a very cold reception.
The audiences eventually warmed to the play but that resulted in flooding of the theater.

The list from the AARP:

1. Grocery bags.
2. Airline seat assignments.
3. Air for your tires at a gas station.
4. Resort Amenities.
5. Restaurant reservations.

But there are still some great freebies available.  For example, reading the content on this website, unless you consider the cost of all the wasted time and diminished brain capacity from being exposed to all this drivel.  Actually, looking at it that way, this might be the most expensive site you ever visited!

Asking for a friend.

On this day in 1967 Revolutionary Che Guevara was captured by the Bolivian Army and executed the next day.  In December of 1951, pre-revolutionary, he was an affluent, Argentinian medical student, Ernesto Guevara de la Serna.  He began a motorcycle trip throughout South American that took him from The Amazon to the Andes where he witnessed the horrors of poverty and social injustice.  He made this comment about the residents of a leper colony in Peru:  “The psychological lift it gives to these poor people—treating them as normal human beings instead of animals, as they are used to—is incalculable,”  He dedicated his life to seeking justice for the poor and working class.  You may disagree with his methods but hopefully you understand the goal.

So if we could arrange a motorcycle trip around the country for the elitist sociopaths that represent us, perhaps they can learn to understand the plight of those on the lower socio-economic rungs of life’s ladder.  They would learn empathy and show some compassion for less fortunate humans and actually provide help rather than turning their back.  

But billionaires may have to start paying taxes and we wouldn’t want to suffer that injustice so, never mind.

Or, as I like to call it, a creative vehicle for money-laundering. 
Can’t think of another plausible explanation.
Makes you wonder about that light bulb and battery store…

Research published in The European Journal of Preventive Cardiology says drinking coffee everyday reduces your risk of heart disease or death.  They found that of the 449,563 participants, those who drank two to three cups had the least risk of heart disease or death compared to non-coffee drinkers. All kinds of coffee were beneficial, but ground coffee was the clear winner, reducing the death risk by 27%.  While most of us drink the brew for a shot of the last legal mind-altering drug caffeine, the finding suggest coffee’s non-caffeinated compounds are primarily responsible for its health-boosting benefits.

The best part is that a home brewed cup of coffee that costs between 30 and 40 cents is just as effective as a $12.00 venti mocha half-caf Americano long black macchiato with a flat white affogato cappuccino colonic.  So brew a cup at home and leave the posh coffee for egomaniacal would-be influencers that boost their self-worth by berating a starving actor barista for too much foam, not enough whip or forgetting the second shot of peppermint.

Besides, according to the #1 authority on coffee I make a better cup than Starbucks and Linda is completely impartial and has no reason to lie!

Believe it or not.  These are just some of the awe-inspiring sights I viewed in my city alone.

• There was a once-in-a-lifetime sale at the Lamps R Us store.
• An Oriental rug store was having a going-out-of-business sale.
• All of the 150+ dentists in our area are accepting new patients.
• A motorcyclist changed lanes without signaling.
• Our supermarket had empty shopping carts strewn about the parking lot.
• A jam of cars in line at the In-N-Out Burger (perhaps the biggest mystery).

Mind Blown!!