Daily Inflammation

Great idea for an article from the daily “Nice News” email.  The recipes from the films included the following:

• Serendipity’s Frozen Hot Chocolate from the Kate Beckinsale and John Cusack rom-com where they sip frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity restaurant in New York City.
• Birds of Prey’s Breakfast Sandwich Harley Quinn’s perfect breakfast sandwich, “Egg! Bacon! American cheese! Soft, toasted, buttered roll! Just a dash of hot sauce!”  And an extra helping of Margot Robbie.
• Julie and Julia’s Boeuf Bourguignon a savory stew melt-in-your-mouth dish served up by Meryl Streep and Amy Adams.
• The Hundred-Foot Journey’s Masala Omelette combines eggs with a variety of spices and herbs for a familiar breakfast favorite..in Mumbai.
• Fantastic Mr. Fox’s Nutmeg Ginger Apple Snaps are a must for imaginary tea parties.
• Lady and the Tramp’s Spaghetti and Meatballs.  I always wanted to copy the iconic scene where they share a strand of spaghetti and their lips meet but I never found a dog that would agree to do it.  Woof means No!

Looking over the list the dishes are a bit pedestrian.  I’d like to see some dishes from more esoteric films; perhaps The Jeffrey Dahmer Story? 

Perhaps we should be embracing the people who have come to our borders seeking a better life. 

According to the 2023 World Happiness Report Co-authored by Lara Aknin and John Helliwell, Luxembourg made the top 10 and 58.2% of its residents were born outside the country.  They are a nation of immigrants…like us only happier. The United States did not make the top 10 as all countries were judged by six key factors — social support, income, health, freedom, generosity, and absence of corruption.  We were probably doing fine until we hit that bothersome “absence of corruption” stuff.

I’ll bet we were in the bottom 10 in that category.

Paris has once again been named the world’s most popular city destinations, according to an annual report by global market research company Euromonitor International.  The United States appeared on the list for the first time at #8 with New York City, the business, art and cultural capital of the nation and then again at #19 Los Angeles, the nation’s urban cesspool, but a city not without its charms.

Couldn’t tell you one but there must be some reason people flock there.  Perhaps to meet David Hasselhoff?

And an exciting day it was throughout time as many famous people who changed the course of history were born on this day. 
This iconic list of names includes people like the following:

• Actor Hal Williams best known for something that escapes me.
• Singer-actor Abbe Lane; AKA Mrs. Xavier Cugat; wow, right?
• Pop singer Joyce Vincent Wilson of the ground-breaking wild people of rock, Tony Orlando and Dawn.
• Actor Sophie Monk whom I am sure does get a job, occasionally.
• Actor-singer-musician Jackson Rathbone; no relation to Basil Rathbone, the only real portrayer of iconic master sleuth Sherlock Holmes.
• British actor, writer and comedian Miranda Hart.  Finally someone I know and love that really is talented. Star of the cleverly titled sitcom “Miranda.” Such fun!
• Oh yeah, it’s my birthday too.  What did you buy me?  Don’t worry, your admiration and loyalty is enough! (But cash is always appreciated).

Why try and thoughtfully reason out or explain something when the above phrase covers every possibility?   Here are a few more gems guaranteed to make you sound like an arrogant nerd, and not the good kind of nerd that can fix your computer, explain bitcoin, set up your Wi-Fi or make a fortune in on-line gaming.

• ” You always do that!”  – Nobody always does anything with one exception: Politicians always lie.
• “No Offense but…” – They will be offended and possibly resort to physical violence (May include guns in Florida and Texas).
• “Can’t you take a joke?” – Can’t you take a knee in the groin?
• “Vacay, Merch or hubby” – Shortening common words is not cute, saves no time and makes you sound like the pompous jerk-wad you are. 
• Tell me, without telling me” – I am at a loss on this one.  
• “There are lots of fish in the sea” – Count again and the ones that are left have mercury poisoning.
• “If I’m being honest” – That would be nice…for a change.
• “Literally”- Rarely is it used correctly.  There was literally a million people at my party or every idiot believes the presidential election was a fraud. Oh wait, that last one’s true.
• “Needless to say” – If it’s needless to say shut your pie hole!

When in doubt just say, “Hmm interesting,” or STFU!

Costco is now offering $500.00 in gift Cards for Southwest Airlines for the discounted price of $429.99.  I think it would be a fabulous deal if you could use the cards on Alaska or Delta Airlines!

Oh, you drank the Southwest Kool-Aid?  Personally I prefer to have an assigned seat rather than entering Thunder Dome every time I fly to fight for a marginally comfortable seat after paying extra to get on earlier even though you never know how early that will be.  No thanks.

I’m a peaceful man; a lover not a fighter.  I’ll have one on the aisle, please.  Guaranteed!

“Listed as U.S. News’s ‘Cheapest Place to Live in 2023,’  Hickory, North Carolina packs a punch in terms of livability. Located in North Carolina’s Piedmont region, Hickory is perfectly situated between the mountains and sea. Only an hour’s drive to the artsy community of Asheville and four hours to seaside Wilmington, NC, this little town is attracting residents from all over the country.  Set in the foothills of Appalachia, Hickory has long been known for its furniture making but big tech companies like Apple are nudging their way in.”

The average resident spends just 18.95% of their income on living expenses, one of the lowest rates in the country. Quality of life is at a premium here with mountains to hike, the Catawba River to float or kayak, a minor league baseball team, and plenty of local breweries to explore. Housing costs over $100,000 less than the national average is just the icing on the cake.

The problem is in order to live there you have to be in North Carolina; even worse, Hickory, NC!  
A bit of a conundrum, right?  While I have many dear friends living in the South I really feel the best course of action for the United States is to take the entire South and return it to its original owners.  First step, returning North Carolina to The Coharie, the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians,.  I feel certain they would still allow us access to their casinos.

It’s simply the best course of action for all involved!

You are only concerned about their health but in this day where cancellation and political correctness hold powerful positions in our society, criticism, even constructive criticism must be handled with great care and empathy.  You are only trying to help by letting someone know that they may be adversely affecting their life, the world demands you do so with tact and empathy and possibly some good-natured chiding.  As someone who has a lifetime of experience in carrying around excess adipose tissue I feel I am qualified to give sound advice on the subtle art of letting someone know they are gaining weight beyond what society deems appropriate which is as follows: Women, size zero or one.  Men: Maximum 36 inch waist with proportionate weight, maximum 179 lbs.  Try getting the important message across by working one of these helpful lines into a greeting or conversation when your help is needed:

(Disclaimer:  Do not try this at home without first consulting an attorney or bodyguard.) 

• Geez Louise, no wonder there’s a food shortage in this country!
• You know that big bowl of mashed potatoes is to share, right?
• Welcome! Have a seat…or two.
• Just how fat are you planning to get?
• I’m guessing triplets?  What?  You’re NOT pregnant?
• Wow, looks like you’re a shoe-in to play Santa at the Christmas Party this year!
• Good to see you looking bigger and better…and bigger than ever!
• Nice to see someone who is not caught up in current fitness and health craze!
• Random thought; I hope you don’t have the seat next to me on the plane.
• Perhaps you should rethink that gym membership or, at least, try using it.
• I thought the elephant was the largest land mammal.
• Look at it this way, there is more of you to love…as lot more.
• Hey, don’t sit on the messenger!

Remember, you are only trying to help!

• “Kate Middleton is regal in teal at Royal Variety performance — and wears hair in a new way.” Yawn.
• “Taylor Swift Cheers on Travis Kelce at the Packers-Chiefs Game.”  Fascinating.
• “Kaley Cuoco is shocked as daughter Matilda says ‘Mama’ for the first time”  Kaley is a little slow.
• “Deion Sanders and Tracey Edmonds call off engagement.” Deion who?
• “Suki Waterhouse Is pregnant!”  How’d that happen?
• “Bre Tiesi thought the cameras weren’t rolling when she said she slept with Michael B. Jordan”  And if you believe that…
• “Queen Letizia and King Felipe of Spain recreate handshake 20 years later.” Must have been one heck of a shake!

Wait, let me think…No!  The search continues.  There has to be something out there that we care about less the Kardashians!

Wrong!  The answer is Construction Worker.  Research has determined construction workers are the happiest of any industry.

“A human resources software company has found that construction workers are the happiest in the world, citing rising wages and a high demand for work as the primary reasons why. BambooHR’s research includes data from over 57,000 employees at more than 1,600 companies around the globe, specifically tracking happiness between January 2020 and June 2023.”

What about the excitement?  You fire a nail gun into the wall and miss the stud.  It sails through dry wall transforming into a screaming missile of destruction with you not knowing in what or WHO it might hit.  An iron worker walking a beam 47 stories above Manhattan and drops an M100 bolt with a diameter of about 4″.  Can you calculate its velocity by the time it hits the ground…or your foreman?  You walk by the giant crane operator and inhale the distinct smell of alcohol creating an aura of excitement you can’t feel in any other profession.

Construction Worker: Modern Day Super Hero!!