Thoughts
The only rule to Daily Inflammation…There are no rules! If you are afraid of Virginia Woolf then this is not the section for you. The stream of consciousness flows as I share keen insights rooted in common sense, separating fact from fiction, truth from lies, microwave safe dishes from those that arc and explode, developed from seventy years of living what only can be described as “The common, everyman lifestyle” (except for the microwave part which was only recently learned).
This is Controversy Central! I’ll know I’m successful when I have to issue my first tearful apology. “My words were taken out of context…Boo Hoo”
by Fred Berman //
If you did not overspend, “Good for you!”
If you did overspend giving Christmas gifts take some time for self-reflection and ask three questions:
“Was it worth it?” Did I need to do it?” “Does anyone give a rat’s ass?”
For the slower among you the answers are no, no and hell no!
Hey, it’s only money and you still have that 295,000,000 to 1 shot at winning the lottery…
HOPE LIVES! (Although currently on life-support)
by Fred Berman //
I received an email from Joanne today inviting me to click a link to view a confidential pdf file on OneDrive. The paper’s theme is reported to be “Get your confidence back in the bedroom.” While following a link from an unsolicited communication is always an exciting prospect without any risk whatsoever, I resisted the temptation as I have as much confidence in the bedroom as I do in any room of the house; unless it was the rare occasion when there was a girl in the room with me.
(Of course I was referencing a time 50 years ago before I met Linda and was able to let myself go.)
The email, however, did share the important information that you can access your files from anywhere and never miss an update with the OneDrive app. Yeah, like I’d fall for that!
by Fred Berman //
Let’s just remember Christmas is not about extravagant presents and rich food. It is someone’s birthday today; a person who put kindness and forgiveness above all other things: Humphrey Bogart! (Among others)
“Here’s looking at you Kid!”
by Fred Berman //
Linda and I always watch “A Christmas Carol.” But what version? The story has been filmed multiple times but there are only two versions worth your time.
Charles Dickens wrote the perfect metaphor for today’s business environment. A successful businessman keeps building his wealth with little regard for those in need. All that’s missing in our modern day story is three Spirits to show them the error of their greedy ways.
I would be glad to take the spirits place; that is, show them the error of their ways. For a fee, of course.
by Fred Berman //
It’s all about taxes. For example, if your divorce becomes final on December 30th you will have to pay your taxes as a single for the entire year, losing the lower rate of a married couple filing jointly.
You put up with the lying, cheating scumbag for this long so wait until January 1st to kick the poltroon out! Or wait until January 2nd when your hangover eases a bit.
by Fred Berman //
“The northern hairy-nosed wombat or yaminon is one of three extant species of Australian marsupials known as wombats. It is one of the rarest land mammals in the world and is critically endangered. The sighting in Georgia gave scientists hope for a recovery but on further examination it appears it may have Marjorie Taylor Green on her way to her bi-weekly waxing.
I should be ashamed. I spend so much time railing against lying and name-calling politicians and then I stoop to their level. The difference being I am not a public servant and don’t get paid taxpayer money. Still, it was wrong and I need to make it right.
” I sincerely apologize for comparing you to such an odious and hate-filled creature.”
If somebody spots the Wombat would you please ask if it will accept my apology?
by Fred Berman //
The Shortness of the day can be meaningful. Look at all we have for which to be grateful:
I know, it’s still 24 hours and shortest day actually refers to the amount of sunlight in the 24 hour period. I am taking what is known amongst us professional writers as “Poetic License.” Hey, you try being clever or insightful 365 days a year (366 on Leap Year).
Not Possible! (Although I come close…)
by Fred Berman //
And we are in the agonizing throes of some terribly distressing events.
So get ready because unless I am uncharacteristically wrong another catastrophe is on the horizon. So until then I will…WHAT? Oh no, it has happened:
Cardi B has just confirmed her split from Offset! I’ll bet she’s regretting that $500,000 cash birthday gift. She gave him half a mil and for me, nada! I didn’t even get a like on Facebook from her.
Well, I’m still glad the third shoe dropped. Let the healing begin!
by Fred Berman //
I need to set the record straight.
Chiara Ferragni has almost 30 million Instagram followers. She is facing a $1 million fine after Italian authorities said she misled consumers. She has a partnership with a pastry brand, Balocco. They bake a Pandoro, a traditional Italian Christmas dessert. Long story short she made it sound like buying one was for charity but, in her case, charity may have begun at home.
It got me to thinking that perhaps I have made some statements here that may have misled you. I realize I have a few less followers but a responsibility to always be truthful! So let me set the record straight.
if I ever gave you the impression that D.J. Trump was even remotely a decent human being, or that he gave a rat’s ass about anyone but himself, or that he deserves anything but a prison cell, I humbly apologize.
Whew, glad to get that off my chest!
by Fred Berman //
Adults 18+ years are needed for a mental health study conducted by the prestigious Port-au-Prince Medical School.
If you have had or are considering one of these surgeries you may be eligible for compensation for participating in a study to determine if you are insane, unbalanced or just in need of a good slap and reality check:
Don’t worry. I have no idea what any of this means either. Nature abhors a vacuum so I had to fill the space.