Have you written your list of resolutions? Should be easy. Simply copy last year’s list and put it in a safe place to be retirieved again next year.
Goodbye, Old Friend!
Today I bid farewell to an old friend who greeted me every morning, sent me on my way with a touch of sweetness and stood by me for many years. But youth must be served so fare-thee-well Cap’n Crunch. May you find the missing “tai” and at long last be addressed by the full title you so richly deserve!
Hello New Companion
Today my breakfast bowl welcomes Post Shredded Wheat and Bran. What I lose in sugar I Make up in whole grains, fiber and non-GMO wheat. Maybe not as tasty as The Cap’n was but with a unique ability to keep things moving through my intestines. As the years progress one’s priorities change.
To All Idiot Hoarders!
I went to the store today and with the new lockdown orders there was not a single roll of toilet paper to be had. SHAME ON YOU HOARDERS! Fortunately for us I still have a dozen cases taking up half of my garage from the last scare, so I will be the bigger person and not buy any more.
By My Count…
…There are over 73,000,000 Americans that are either racist, condone racism or are just nut bag conspiracy theorists. I send them my love and suggest they wear aluminum foil hats to prevent the government from penetrating their brains with compassion!
I Don’t Get It
On an impulse I went to the Deli section of the market and slapped the salami. I was asked to leave and escorted to the door.
Christmas is over and…
My credit cards are not maxed-out. I guess I am not religious and don’t understand the true meaning of the holiday.
COME ALL YE Faithful CRYPTOGRAPHERS
Are you up for a try at Christmas code-breaking? This one hails from the cold war eastern bloc country of Curmudgeonistan .
Difficult but decipherable. Hint: before giving up try ASCII.
Coded Message:
“Merry Christmas to all. Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Men.
May the spirit of Christmas be with you now and forever.”
Actual Message Once Decoded:
“Bah! Humbug!”
Honoring Those That Served
Do you suppose that any soldier on the front lines cared about the party affiliation of any person in his platoon? They united against a common enemy and had each others back. They were all Americans. If only we were smart enough to realize the true enemy is ignorance and hate, not someone who chooses a different political party. And you idiot, the other party loves America as much as you do…probably more if they believe in free speech.
THERE IS ONE BORN EVERY MINUTE!
I watched a news item today where a television preacher mocked the President-Elect clomping up and down the stage shrieking HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
His flock, good people of faith, were laughing and encouraging him. And these people give money and help support his six million dollar mansion and his private jet. I am not a biblical scholar but I am sure there is a passage or psalm in there somewhere glorifying his spewing of hate and unbridled greed.