Daily Inflammation

In “Breakfast of Champions” Kilgore Trout explained to me that in Bermuda, his place of birth, they call mirrors leaks.  So if someone there says “I am going to take a leak,” it means they are about to steal a mirror.  It got me thinking about what other words or statements mean other things to other people based on their origin, generation, intelligence or even gender.  I thought of a few examples where you must look beyond the obvious to find the truth.  Let’s start with communications between spouses or any romantically linked couple:

They Say:   “I don’t need a present, I just need you.”   
It Means:    “I expect a gift and it better make a sizeable dent in your credit limit!”

They Say:    “Go ahead out, I’ll be fine here on my own tonight.”
It Means:     “Take one step out that door and you will rue your decision for eternity.”

They Say:      “I’d Love to watch “The Notebook” with you…AGAIN.”  Or
                           “I’d Love to watch “Solo, A Star Wars Story” with you…AGAIN.
It Means:       “OMG, I’d rather drink Drano, poke my eyes out or watch Fox News.”

They Say:       “You are sexier than Emilia Clarke (as Daenerys Targaryen).”   Or
                             “You are sexier than Jason Momoa.”
It Means:        “I’d crawl a mile on my belly for one night with (__Pick One__).” 

We will explore others in the future.  Stay tuned.

Who Moved My Cheese?,  a book written by Dr. Spencer Johnson, M.D. is the story of  two cute-as-a-button mice, Sniff and Scurry,  as they navigate a maze to find their cheese.  It is a simple parable about change; different attitudes toward facing and successfully dealing with the inevitability of change.

In fact, in my previous life, I sold the video version (as did many of you readers) and even attended a change workshop where the video program was the main training content.  But nothing prepared me for the actual harsh reality of dealing with this specific change.  Heed my cautionary tale.

       Yesterday at 11:45 AM I went to the refrigerator to get the ingredients for a grilled cheese sandwich, my choice for lunch.  I opened the first drawer in the refrigerator and glanced to the upper right corner where the slices of sharp cheddar normally reside but alas, there was no cheese to be found.  As I staved off my initial panic, wiping the sweat from my brow, I began frantically searching from the top of the butter tray to the frigid nether regions where the seldom used brown sugar is stored. No Cheese.  My first thought, LINDA! 
     I kept my emotions in check and casually asked, “Linda, have you seen the sharp cheddar?”  She quickly replied with no fluctuation in her voice, “Nope.”  Oh, she was as cool as a cucumber but I was not to be deterred from my quest.  I asked her to sit in my chair and I shone the light from my iPhone directly into her eyes, the purpose for which it was created, I believe.  “Let me ask you again, COMRADE, have you seen the cheese?”  Without as much as a flinch she replied “Did you look in all the drawers including the bottom one where you may be required to bend at the waist?” (A skill which has diminished with my age and weight).
     I smugly replied “Yes, I did, and it’s not there!”  She responded fast as lightning “Did you move anything, like perhaps the alfalfa sprouts you insist on buying but rarely eat?”  I stealthily moved to the refrigerator, all the while keeping an eye on her to make sure she did not slip from my clutches. I opened the vegetable bin, moved the sprouts and there, tucked neatly in the corner was the vacuum-sealed package of Tillamook Sharp Cheddar!  Eureka I exclaimed, but silently, only in my mind so as not to betray my thoughts.
     A quick mental assessment of the situation convinced me asking her to make me the grilled cheese might not lead to my desired outcome, so instead of humiliating myself I matter-of-factly said “You may go.”
      Although I could tell she was masking great relief at being vindicated, she left the room shaking her head and commented “You really need to get a hobby!”
      

As a few have noticed, like the butcher who backed into the meat slicer, I got a little behind in my work.
(I must pause to apologize for stooping so low as to use an old joke in my otherwise original posts.  It’s laziness, not desperation).

Anyhoo, I am all caught up and back on the daily track.  Hop on the Daily Inflammation train and prepare for a wild ride! (One more trite saying or insipid metaphor like that and I swear, I’ll retire.  Oh, wait…been there, done that… RATS!   It ain’t easy bein’ me.

A study published in 2013 in the Brain Connectivity Journal  conducted by scientists from Emory University stated that reading fiction books, specifically novels, has a positive effect on our brain function and actually improves all connectivity in the brain. 
A few reasons why:

• Increases activity in the left temporal cortex — an area of the brain associated with language learning.
• Increases activity in the central sulcus of the brain — the fold in the cerebral cortex that separates the parietal lobe from the frontal lobe, and separates the sensory and motor areas of the brain.
• Reading a novel improves our ability to put ourselves in the role of another person, aka empathy.
• When we read, we perceive the body sensations of others through the “mirroring” technique, similar to visualization.

Reading makes you a better person overall.  But if you don’t read or seek to become a more learned, empathetic person there are still many organizations that value ignorance, sycophancy and narcissistic individuals.  I suggest you apply to Fox News, My Pillow, Mar-a-Lago or run for political office.

It’s debatable, but it is possible to be both.  You can gain intelligence through study and wisdom through life experience.  Go out into the world; keep an open mind, an open heart, show interest and seek answers through positive action.

And for those that have neither intelligence nor wisdom, there is room on the couch at “Fox & Friends.”

…no, on second thought you would be correct; they are the lowest.  BUT right behind trying to squeeze between Joel and Rick to cross the finish line first in the race for Scrotum of the Year slithers Tele-doctors.

So Dr. Phil, with your heartless audience of ex-Jerry Springer inbred morons, continue to scrape the bottom of the misfit barrel for pathetic guests they gawk and laugh and enjoy the tainted money you earn for hosting a human misery circus. 
And Dr. Oz. go on hawking products and diets for weight loss that are neither innovative of effective and give hope, but no real help, to your anguished victims seeking a better life.            “A pox on both your houses”

Apologies to Dr. Sanjay Gupta, the exception to the rule, for even mentioning his name near the other two.  It is a great disservice to him.  His ability to communicate critical medical information to a mass audience is Nobel Prize worthy.  It gives us the information us to make our own decisions based on science rather than fear. 
Thanks, Doc!

It made Nirvana rock stars. Less than 3 years later Kurt Cobain took his own life.
I guess when you record one of the greatest albums ever, but Mariah Carey’s eponymously titled album becomes the best selling record of the year, you question the meaning of life. 

In 1959 Rod Serling’s Original “Twilight Zone” Aired Episode 12 of Season 1.  In this episode an intuitive man was able to give people what they need; not what they may want but what they need.  There is a huge difference.

In the episode the individuals needed a bus ticket home, (it was 1959 a time many of you whippersnappers don’t remember), a winner in a horse race, (my wish) or something as simple as a comb.  But in the end the man with a gift gave out what he himself needed.

In the spirit of the Twilight Zone, the greatest TV show od all-time, I would like to give some people what they need, especially those who refuse vaccinations and think our elections are rigged although not a shred of proof has been found.  I just can’t figure out how to give an aneurysm.