Yes, for “Old-Timers” I am reviving my search for words and phrases that bring joy such as these from the past: Fetlock, Parabola, Nougat and In Flagrante Delicto!
(I will give you a moment to compose yourself).
Today’s Word:  Trapezoid
Sure, we all know it’s a quadrilateral plane figure having two parallel and two nonparallel sides.  But let’s delve a little deeper and ask the two important questions on everyone’s mind:

• What do we really know about Zoids?
• And do you need to “trap” them or will they listen to reason and turn themselves in?

Inquiring minds want to know.

There once was a blogger named Fred,
who wrote daily on betterfredthandead.
But his imagination went blind
and he fell 3 days behind.
So he filled the void with this junk instead.

On the bright side, as “Bluto” Blutarsky said in Animal House: “It Don’t cost nuthin’.”

If your parents get divorced are they still brother and sister?

I didn’t know it was looking.  I would have directed it to where it can do the most good: Palm Beach, Florida.

…then, with my eye in its hand, it turned my stomach causing a pain in my neck just prior to putting a knee in my groin.  I was in such a mess I didn’t know my ass from my elbow.
Fortunately a good friend came along and not being very hip he gave me a hand.  When that wasn’t enough he put his shoulder into it and lent me an ear.

I’m Back Together Baby!

…Makes Home Happy and Life Lovely.” — Louisa May Alcott

Other contributing factors to happiness are gobs of money, the adoration of your children, a metabolism that allows you to eat anything without gaining weight, crispy pata and chocolate chip cookies.
I am sure Louisa knew this and just cut the list at her editor’s request.

I edited this article from People.Com  without even looking.
See all the important photos below:

Get it?

You would think for a whiny, misanthropic curmudgeon like myself, finding something new to inflame me each day would be a no-brainer.***
But today, everything is O.K!  

(***Editor’s Note:  The term “No-Brainer” was used as a service to our Haters that wish to use it to comment that Fred’s gray matter is less than stellar.  You’re welcome!)

Today is Endangered Species Day, a time to highlight the importance of wildlife conservation and biodiversity.  May 20 is also World Bee Day, Shining a light on the importance of bees in pollinating and sustaining the world’s food supply.

The good news is that lamebrains that still believe the last presidential election was stolen have been added to the Endangered Species list and, with a little luck, will soon be nothing more than an asterisk in a history book.

That’s the promise from NiceNews.com.  Each morning they will send positive, life-affirming news to your email inbox because, in their words, “We believe news has the power to untie us!! (All evidence to the contrary).

This mornings “Good News” was about a new innovation; weighing only 3 lbs. you can now carry in your backpack a solar powered electricity generating turbine.  So while you seek to commune with nature and escape the daily pressure of modern life you can charge your electronics.

That joyous sound you hear is me jumping in the air, clicking my eels and singing “Sweet Sue” I am so overcome with emotion upon hearing this life-altering news.  What’s next?  An Ultraviolet Ray machine that allows one to get exposure to the Suns most harmful rays without ever venturing out of your house, thereby increasing your chances of contacting a squamous cell carcinoma by 67%?

Life is filled with good news; just be open to it!