In a post-covid world travel opportunities are again upon us.  But road tripping around the world comes with a unique set of difficulties, including interpreting unfamiliar road signs. I am undertaking a new responsibility, that is, I will offer my reader (or occasionally readers) travel tips that will help them navigate the treacherous path of international travel.

One problem we hear about, almost daily it seems, is interpreting road signs in Bolivia.  So when you take your upcoming trip to the South American paradise, amazingly named for a cheap American wristwatch, be aware of the “Llama Crossing” signs along the road.  You don’t want to have to fill out an accident report and be responsible for the rehab cost of the furry beast, (Is it a camel, is it a Sheep?).  Other unique animal crossing signs in  South America include sloths, monkeys, snakes, and coatis (Brazilian aardvarks).

Please feel free to ask me for other important safety tips before attempting foreign travel.  It’s all part of the service!

I read that a pest control company based in Raleigh, North Carolina, The Pest Informer is seeking American households to be their guinea pigs. “Specifically, they’re looking for five to seven homes where they can release approximately 100 cockroaches, which they’ll seek to eradicate using different types of treatments. The families who are willing to take on this difficult-to-stomach challenge will be rewarded with $2,000.”

If they do discover a humane way to rid the country useless pests perhaps it can be adapted to a much greater need; that of ridding Congress of the 535 vermin that infest our Capitol. 

Many People think CPR is only for trained professionals.  Dr. Holly Andersen, of New York-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center is on mission to show us that anyone, regardless of experience or certification, can save a life with hands-only CPR.  You don’t have to do mouth-to-mouth anymore!  
That is wonderful news.  Now it is possible for us guys to save the life of someone other than a beautiful woman!

I know…You didn’t think I was that guy.  Sorry to disillusion you.

     Great News as the need for more sources for clean energy grows exponentially.  Capped landfills or “Brownfields,” sites that have been closed and covered so as not to spread contaminants and toxic waste, are being transformed into clean energy hubs called at record rates across the United States.   These toxic sights are becoming solar farms called “Brightfields.”
     I propose we expand this wonderful program rapidly by not waiting for closure, but turning our countries most toxic, harmful sites into solar energy fields immediately.  We can start with Mar-a-Lago, The Texas State Capitol Building and the Fox News Studios.

Take a deep breath…just the thought makes the air seems cleaner already.

                  And we are just getting started!

             

Following are 4 Questions, not to be confused with The Four Questions asked on Passover at the Seder; we all know the answers to those!
These four will give you a window to your soul and impact your vision of the world.  So if you answer “Yes” to any of the following 4 questions please get help as you are delusional!

1. Do you really believe, without a shred of credible evidence, there was mass fraud in the last presidential election impacting the results?
2. Do you feel the intent of the Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution regarding “a well-regulated militia” protects the rights of teenagers to purchase assault weapons without a background check?
3. Do you feel our government is doing all it can to see that our poorest and most vulnerable citizens have access to affordable healthcare?
4. Do you believe you can lose weight by switching your Hershey’s Chocolate for Skinny Me Zero Sugar Chocolate without changing your diet and increasing your exercise?

I’m glad I cleared that up for you.

There are experts who can tell your generation by one’s ability to identify cartoon catch-phrases.  I am not one of them but here is a sampling of the questions on the test:

Match the Cartoon Character to the Quote:

1. “Wascally Wabbit!”                                                    A.  Bugs Bunny
2. “Yabba Dabba Doo!”                                                 B.  Donnie Dump
3. “I tawt I taw a Puddy Tat!”                                      C.  Sylvester Cat
4. “What’s Up Doc?”                                                       D.  Snagglepuss
5. “I won the election!”                                                  E.  Yogi Bear
6. “Hey, Hey, Hey!”                                                          F.  Tweety Pie
7. “Heavens to Murgatroyd!”                                    G.  Elmer Fudd
8. “Sufferin’ Succotash!                                                H.  Fred Flintstone

90% and above, you are officially old!

When Cecil the Seasick Sea Serpent uttered these words repeatedly were they meant for Dishonest John or Donald John? (Is there a difference?)

       

Mysteries of the Universe?

     When most of us think of Iceland is it for their eponymous invention that brought them fame and fortune.  A 3-dimensional cube of water whose temperature has been lowered below 32 degrees Fahrenheit or 100 degrees Celsius, miraculously forming a solid from what was moments before a liquid.  A world, doomed to drink warm beverages during the summer, now can enjoy a frosty glass of whatever year-round.
(Interesting Factoid: For reasons unknown, the only modern civilized nation where Iceland’s top invention is not available is Poland).

So why is Iceland considered one of the healthiest countries in the world?  It is thanks to a diet high in fresh fish.  As a result, Icelanders are getting lots of heart-healthy boosts of omega-3 fatty acids.  So…Eat more Fish!  I like mine breaded and deep fried in lard with lots of fat-back gravy and smothered fries.

I feel healthier already!

Updated for 2022:
“Turds of a Feather Fail Together!”