According to the “Eat This, Not That” email newsletter below are 7 foods neurosurgeons avoid:

1. Sugar-packed foods like ice cream and cookies
2. Trans-fats like deep fried foods.
3. Highly Processed foods like potato chips
4. Excessive Alcohol
5. High sodium foods like cold cuts
6. Artificial sweeteners
7. Excessive caffeine

What are they crazy?  I can’t give up everything that tastes good.  But I believe what they say is good advice so in order to comply I will not become a neurosurgeon.

We all have to make some sacrifices to good health.

Many things and I happen to be prepared to relate them to you as follows:

1. They are all Whirlpool Products.
2. They all suck and although expensive are of the lowest quality.
3. Their customer service is a series of form letters telling you how much they care and to go F-Off.
4. Although I cannot say for sure I have heard from a reliable source the company executives all must join a cabal of cannibals and dine regularly on the flesh of unhappy customers (which means anyone who has bought one of their products).

I heard they did once, by mistake, sell a refrigerator that worked.  They did not send anyone to destroy the evidence but did fire the quality control inspector that let it get out and had him blackballed from the industry.  

Instant Karma gonna get you…I hope!

If you wish to post something here and pay the standard fee, currently $1,500.00 per word, please let me know.  First contact your lawyer.  If he tells you it’s a good idea get another lawyer.

What would I do without Groucho in my life?

• James Chadwick discovered the Neutron in 1932. The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius, did not air until 2002.
• There are 118 Elements on the Periodic Table.  The symbol for Oxygen is O, Hydrogen is H, C is Carbon and N is Nitrogen.  Gold is AU.  Makes sense.
• Wilhelm Röntgen Invented the X-Ray in 1895.  X-ray glasses were not included in cereal boxes until the 1950’s.
• The 28 bones in the hands are called Phalanges.  The bones are delicate and highly moveable allowing us to pick up things, but it only takes the 3 bones of your middle finger to express your displeasure to the jerk-wad that cut you off in traffic.
• Carbon Dioxide makes your soda bubbly.  Carbon Monoxide binds to your hemoglobin reducing the blood’s ability to carry oxygen.  It can make you sick or possibly kill you.  Don’t confuse the two.

And YES, these facts WILL be on the test!

Me!
This website costs money to keep up and I receive no funds; only the joy of knowing I fill a void as there is no one else who fills a website with meaningless drivel like I do!  I have decided to become an influencer for good as I have heard influencers make a lot of money.  So here I go:

**Influence #1:  Don’t do drugs.  And if you are an idiot who does drugs, stop!

Where do I go to collect my money?

Now that failed retailer Bed Bath & Beyond is no more we are bombarded with a spate of emails hawking their wares on-line.  Apparently their name was purchased  or they were purchased by Overstock.  Who cares?  Change is difficult so it’s comforting to know there is still a place where you can overpay for questionable quality household items.

“Dear BB&B:  Time to go into the light!”

HOLLYWOOD:  Creator of magic and the stuff of dreams!  Perhaps not always dreams; more like a dirt nap.

I mean who would knowingly expose their workers to the dangers of breathing asbestos?   While it may sound like a joke, that is exactly what they did while filming The Wizard of Oz. The 1939 version of The Wizard of Oz has a scene in a field of poppies (the movie is rife with symbolism), where “snow” falls on Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion, and the Tin Man. That snow was made from 100% industrial-grade chrysotile asbestos, even though the dangerous health complications related to asbestos had been known for several years. Back when there was no CGI, they had to do whatever it took to make a film look good!

Where are the Hollywood MAGAs?  Make Artistry Great Again!  Let’s go back to the days when nothing was off the table to create great film artistry; even Asbestosis and Mesothelioma!

The Oktoberfest start date is a conundrum worth investigating but I will leave that to you as I am a busy man.  If you figure it out let me know.

The festival originated on October 12, 1810, in celebration of the marriage of the crown prince of Bavaria, who later became King Louis I, to Princess Therese von Sachsen-Hildburghausen.  I attended the Munich celebration in 1970 and every year since Linda and I have been together we make it a priority to try to attend the fete in Munich.  Unfortunately we have yet to make it there.

The good news is Linda’s Dirndl still fits and she has the bow properly tied on the right side. Whew!  My Lederhosen, however, are a different story.  Does anyone have a size 2XL Bavarian Lederhosen I can borrow for a week?  If not, “Ach Du Lieber Augustin!”  We’ll try again next year!

We owe People Magazine a debt of gratitude as they continue to deliver important news we can’t get anywhere else.  Today’s email contains the following blockbusters:

• Rich Paul says he and Adele are “in a good space.” – That’s a load off.  I didn’t know if the Kardashians had bought up all the good spaces or not.
• Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas, aka Aphrodite and Wolfman, who managed to stay married long enough to pop out two daughters, have reached a temporary custody agreement.  I wonder whose Nanny gets the first shift?
• Jody Turner-Smith is spotted with her daughter Juno, 3, one week after filing for divorce.  WOW!  They spotted a mother with her daughter.  That’s like spotting Big Foot, Nessie and Waldo all in one day.

Thank you People Magazine! I feel totally prepared to face the unique challenges of today now that I am armed with the pertinent facts!

 Let me blow the lid right off of this question.  Current wisdom says no, do not eat right before bed as your metabolism slows and the food does not digest at the same rate as when you are active.  It is not strictly calories in/calories out.

There is a new trend among the younger generations to have dinner earlier and even go a step farther with intermittent fasting.  So dinner at 4:30PM is enjoying a new popularity and we lovers of restaurant’s early bird specials are gaining respect!  We are no longer pathetic old geezers but trend-setting health influencers.

What about eating in bed?  A topic for another time.