Watch Me is the name of a new concept, a sports bar for women.  I haven’t looked into all the details but it seems like a great idea to me.  At last, a place where women can gather safely to watch Mah Jongg and Canasta, trade recipes and share ideas on how to make their men happy while enjoying a refreshing Cosmopolitan, Margarita or Sex on the Beach.  Watered drinks with tiny umbrellas will flow freely.
     Everything is set up for women; Happy Hour will be from 2:00PM to 4:00PM so they can be back in time to have dinner on the table for their husbands; there will be a “wash your own glass” station and free “Watch Me” aprons you can take home.

It’s probably not like that at all but the romantic in me hopes it makes women happy; an Olympic style event with a difficulty factor of 3.7!

(This article re-imagined from the 1950 edition of The Daily Inflammation)

In the Harvard Medical School publication that has the motto “Trusted Advice for a Healthier Life” has a booklet that offers help to we nut jobs that have gone mental, (no politically correct euphemisms here, just try to cancel me and I’ll show you stress).   In the journal publication “Anxiety and Stress Disorders” they divide stress into 4 categories: Positive – Tolerable – Unhealthy – Toxic.  They then drone on about each of them and make up some stuff about what to do.  You can spend the $29.00 to get the report or let me summarize it for you here. (Full Disclosure: I didn’t buy the book but was able to surmise a great deal from the ad).

Positive Stress:  Starting a new job or taking on new responsibilities, or figuring out how to keep the fact you won the lottery from your family so you don’t have to share.
Tolerable Stress:  A non-normative experience that present a greater magnitude of adversity; a death in the family, serious illness or accident, couples counseling because your spouse says you are “emotionally unavailable.”
Unhealthy Stress: Anything that makes you irritable, angry or impatient like the butt-munch in the car ahead of you not noticing the light has changed because he is on his cellphone.
Toxic Stress:  Changes in emotions and behavior: Anxiety, guilt, denial, grief, fear, irritability or Intense anger, emotional outbursts, depression, withdrawal, panic, feeling hopeless or overwhelmed. Basically what most of us refer to as Monday.

For those of us without the financial means to simply withdraw from society let me again offer my standard one size fits all advice: “Suck it up!” 

Ted Lasso said this about meeting people’s mothers, “It’s like reading an instruction manual as to why they’re nuts!”

This leads into a discussion of Nature vs. Nurture; “Nature” means innate biological factors (namely genetics), while “nurture” can refer to upbringing or life experience.  Either way Mom has a big role, supplying genes (along with Dad) and possibly being the greatest influence on her child’s development.

Perhaps it’s a combination of both?  Two children are born into great wealth and develop opposite character traits.  One child born of wealthy parents grows up with a love for humanity, empathy for the struggles and joys of everyone regardless of race, religion or gender, dedicated to seeing that there is opportunities for everyone to succeed and is always willing to lend a hand and be charitable, and the other child becomes Donald Trump.  The mysteries of life.

Quoting Ted again, “That’s a big spoonful of Truth Soup!”

We all know if you buy anything at a discount store like Family Dollar, Dollar Tree or Sav-A-Lot you are getting a small size or just pure crap.  I have found only 3 reasons to walk into one of those junk emporiums: helium party balloons, gift bags or greeting cards because why pay $5.00 for a Hallmark card that is going to be torn open, have the money removed and be deposited unread into the recycle bin.

The FDA has now identified 7 brands of cinnamon powder that is contaminated with toxic levels of lead, all sold through discount outlets.  So now you not only have to worry about if your jewelry contains blood diamonds, or if your apple watch was made by an indentured child in a sweat shop, but also where the ingredients for that snickerdoodle you swiped from the lunchroom were purchased.

I can give up diamonds and Apple watches, but snickerdoodles?  Some things are worth the risk!

“How Dry I Am” is a song written by Irving Berlin in 1919, Originally titled “The Near Future” lamenting the impending enactment of the 18th Amendment to the constitution (Yes, there were others beside the 2nd Amendment that the gun nuts shout about daily) ushering in Prohibition which lasted from January 17, 1920 – December 5, 1933.  But the country was hardly dry.  Between Al Capone, Don Corleone and Hyman Roth there was plenty of illegal booze to go around.

For me “How Dry I Am” refers to my lack of ideas for this inane Daily Inflammation thing.  I am trying to stay out of the political argument because none of it makes any sense and I am unable to wrap my mind around how anyone can support a low-life scum like #45 in his bid to be re-elected.

Did I just slip and get political?  Shame on ME as well as anyone who supports him.  

I’ll try to do better tomorrow!

If your door or lock sticks, forcing you to push or pull as you turn the key, it’s an easy fix.  Use a pencil and rub the surface of the key with the lead and then put it in the lock. The graphite from the pencil will lubricate the lock, and it should easily open. 
Speaking metaphorically, if lead in your pencil is a problem I suggest you ask your doctor about boner pills.

Glad I could help. 

It is no easy task earning a living wage.  Most restaurant rely on their tips as they make minimum wage.  But many more jobs are trying to gain entry into the tip receiving world.  Our exterminator that gets $99.00 for about 10 minutes of pacing our small perimeter and spraying some toxic brew in the corners.  But as soon as he is finished I get a text leading me to the bill-paying site and a request to add on a tip.

The article says no tip necessary for flight attendants, plumbers, pick-up food orders, doctors, package delivery drivers, servers when tip is already on the bill, open bar at weddings and anywhere you receive sub-par service.  Seems like a “No, Duh.”  Who tips their accountant?  Who has an accountant?  I do believe tipping writers of inane website rants is an excellent policy but I’m not the one to ask…

The last tip I left is when I was circumcised! Hahahahaha!

This offer from FinanceBuzz.com.  Does anyone else see the flaw in this plan?
It’s like “Want to finally shed those extra pounds?  See us for all the Pizza and hot fudge you can eat 24/7!”

Nice, Huh?    Too Bad.  Suck it up!

I came up with a brilliant solution to my money problems and I only share it with you, my readers, because I know none of the 6 of you will rat me out!

I have an exclusive offer (I guess they know what a dynamic influencer I am) from New Yorker Magazine.  I can get an 88% discount off the cover price.  That means the 26 week cover price is $224.75.  They will discount 88% ($198.75) making my cost $26.  My genius plan is to resell subscriptions for the incredibly low price of  $112.oo, a 50% discount giving me a net profit on each sale of $86.00.  If I sell 10 a day and work 5 days a week, 50 weeks a year (I need a vacation), I’ll make over $200,000.

I’ve thought for weeks and can’t find a single flaw in my plan.  It appears to be foolproof.  My years of business experience will finally earn me what I am worth. I may write a book!