What? It was March 20th this year? 
This Apple Watch sucks. What was Steve Jobs thinking?

He’s what?  Oh, sorry.

Who came up with the idea to warn listeners that you are about to say something vulgar by prefacing the profanity with “Pardon my French?”
Haven’t the French had enough bad press by kowtowing to the Nazis
and eschewing regular bathing?
It is time to give our cowardly and smelly friends a break. 
From now on just say “Pardon my fucking language.”

“The ability to see the funny side of everything should be greatly cultivated…Find the good, not the bad in every experience.”  Edgar Cayce
In other words “Laugh it up Butt-Munch. Nobody wants to read or hear your whining diatribe because you didn’t get your way!”

Between the 17th and 19th of April in 1961 a group of U.S. trained Cuban exiles unsuccessfully stormed the southern shore of Cuba at The Bay of Pigs.  History books refer to the ill-conceived operation as the Bay of Pigs Invasion. 
In keeping with the current trend of political correctness it will hence forth be referred to as The Bay of Metabolically Slow Individuals with Great Personalities!

According to Mark Twain are “…the day you were born and the day you find out why.”
Most know their birthday and for those that have not yet discovered the why, here are a few popular generic reasons from which to choose.

1. Work at an unfulfilling job until I stroke out from inactivity.
2. Deny myself all luxury saving for retirement, then use up the money supporting my millennial ne’er-do-well children.
3. Incur a monthly credit card charge for an unused gym membership while gorging on Hot Pockets and Pizza until…(See #1).
4. Earn a Bachelor of English degree from a state university and then use the knowledge to score a job open to those with that degree such as:
   car wash attendant, cellphone plan salesperson or assistant night manager at Wahoo Burger Express.

As Americans it is our right to choose whether or not we get vaccinated.
Having completed my regimen of Covid-19 vaccinations I would like to send, with love and respect, the following message to those that choose not to be vaccinated:
“Dear Nutso: Go peddle your fear-based conspiracy theories somewhere else and stay the hell away from me!”
Have a nice day!

I saw a list of the 50 words that appear most commonly in prayer.  Included were the following  gender specific words: our father, man, son, he and His name.  There was not one in the top 50 specifically female. You would think there would be a little more respect for women. Perhaps a male dominated society?  With that in mind Sugar,  don’t worry your pretty little head about it.  Be a good girl and fetch me a cup of coffee!   Sheesh!
You might consider a “They” or “Their” pronoun in your prayer.

Like my mind today…or most days.
Brilliance is a cruel mistress!

“…that the first thing that disappears when men are turning a country into a totalitarian state is comedy and comics.”    Groucho.
No Comedians on Capitol Hill,  just clowns.

She would have been 95 years old.  Almost made it. We hope she is in a better place and that place has a beautiful golf course and a nightly Bridge Tournament.  A  few Triominoes players would be be an added plus.  And, as long as we are hoping, perhaps Brent’s would open a third location.  Can it really be Heaven without a good deli?  R.I.P.