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You Are Invited to Join Today’s Guided Meditation

12.09.2021 by Fred Berman //

Welcome.
Join me in becoming present and letting the cares and worries you carry with you float away.  Yesterday is gone and tomorrow has not arrived; there is only the here and now. 

Take a deep breath and forget about the meaningless crushing debt under which you live, whether it be from credit cards, rampant borrowing or student loans.  Realize you will never go back to school, learn a language or play that instrument.  Take a deep breath and accept the harsh realities of today’s banal existence and gut-wrenching political turmoil.  You are where you will remain, a rudderless vessel caught in the vortex of a tumultuous sea, edging ever closer to the Bermuda Triangle…and that’s ok.
Now close your eyes and effortlessly slip into a deep, nurturing sleep.

Namaste.

Categories // Daily Inflammation

China Tells The U.S.A. “You Will Pay A Price for Olympic Boycott!”

12.08.2021 by Fred Berman //

Although our athletes will still be able to attend the 2020 Winter Olympic Games, the U.S. and now Australia have said there will be a “Diplomatic Boycott: of the event.  I assume that means we taxpayers will not have to foot the bill for our representatives taking an all-expense paid vacation in Beijing.

But China has threatened to make us pay the price.  So I guess we can expect huge price increases at Walmart since somewhere in the neighborhood of 99% of their merchandise comes from there.

I just hope P.F. Chang doesn’t raise the price of their Lettuce Wraps.  They’re already $13.00 for a leaf of lettuce and 12 cents worth of filling…but good!

Categories // Daily Inflammation

If You Have an Advanced Degree in English Literature, Theater Arts or Interpretive Dance: WE ARE HIRING!

12.07.2021 by Fred Berman //

If you possess any of these skills or attributes we want to hear from you today!

  • Self-worth is not based on your job title.
  • Able to differentiate between regular, large and supersized.
  • Stocking Shelves is your “Jam.”
  • Enjoy interacting with supervisors that are half your age and may have attained a G.E.D.
  • Belief that any honest work can be fulfilling.
  • Able to exist on Ramen noodles, white bread and generic peanut butter.
  • Body temperature is near 98.6 degrees and you are breathing.

No resume necessary; Come on down!

Categories // Daily Inflammation

The 10 Worst Things to Carry in Your Wallet

12.06.2021 by Fred Berman //

According to my old age guru organization the AARP, following are ten things you should never carry in your wallet:

  • Social Security card, COVID-19 vaccination record card,  Multiple credit cards and credit-card receipts, Checkbook or even one blank check, Work ID card, Passport, List of your passwords, Gift card not fully redeemed, Birth certificate, Library card.  How big a wallet do they think I have?

So, what are the best things to carry?  A credit card, and emergency $20.00 bill tucked under a flap, an emergency contact card with a list of medications and allergy, automobile insurance card, 20% off coupon from Bed, Bath & Beyond; all good choices.
And, of course, a condom?  I mean, what else would you use to make a slingshot when you need one NOW?

Categories // Daily Inflammation

What Is The Best Time To Go To Bed?

12.05.2021 by Fred Berman //

Falling asleep between 10:00 and 11:00PM just might do your heart good.  This according to a new study that found adults whose bedtime begins during that hour are at lower risk of developing heart disease compared with adults who fall asleep either earlier or later at night.​

The Article, however, came from The European Heart Journal.  What if you’re not in Europe’s time zone?
Does that mean if you are in New York you have to go to bed at 5:00PM or in Manila at 6:00AM?

It is impossible to stick to that rigid a schedule.  I have only 2 reasons to go to bed; 
(1) When I’m tired, or (2) When Jennifer Anniston invites me, and the second one only happens when I am already asleep.

Categories // Daily Inflammation

Chanukah Saturday Night in Avignon, France & The Whole Town is Jewish!

12.04.2021 by Fred Berman //

The region of Avignon, located in southern France, is renowned for its wineries. During the Saturday night that falls during Chanukah, and after Shabbat has ended, the Jews of Avignon open a new bottle of local wine in their homes and make a toast. Then, each family travels around their neighborhood to taste the wines chosen by their neighbors and to toast to the miracle of Chanukah.  Neighbors and friends, without regard to religious beliefs, are known to join in the festivities and raise a glass of wine to miracles and peace.

You think there might be a lesson here?

Categories // Daily Inflammation

I Did Not Lie! This is NOT an Ad for Hooper’s Orchard!

12.03.2021 by Fred Berman //

    I said there would be no advertising on this site.  Actually there will be no paid advertising.  But I feel it is my duty to tell those of you who may be unaware that the HOOPER’S ORCHARD exists about this amazing place.  Known as The Disney World of Apple Orchards, it is located in the heart of the booming metropolis of Monroe, Maine.  Belle, Ben and Matthew grow the best Honey Crisp Apples and about a zillion other apple varieties, vegetables, apple related products and also produce honey from their own hives, (actually they are from beehives, but on their land, a fine distinction).
    So next time you are passing through Monroe on your way to the supermarket during apple season, stop in pick your own apples or get lost in the magical corn maze, (if you see Linda in there tell her I am still  looking for her).

https://www.hoopersorchard.com/

     
Personal Favorites: Hellish Relish & Liberty Pink Applesauce.

 

Categories // Daily Inflammation

Today’s Post Delayed so Move Along!

12.02.2021 by Fred Berman //

The Contributor is unavailable to post as he is taking a Mental Health Day.
Obviously it is not working.

Categories // Daily Inflammation

Good Food, Bad Food: What’s in Your Mouth?

12.01.2021 by Fred Berman //

I don’t think there is one food on the planet that you cannot find on one doctor’s or nutrition expert’s healthiest Foods List and another expert’s “Food to Avoid List.”  A few examples:

  • Yogurt:   Good:  Probiotic, feeds the good intestinal bacteria. 
                       Bad: Plain tastes like sour milk, added sugar, artificial sweeteners.
  • Tomatoes: Good: Rich in Lycopene a cell protecting antioxidants.             
                           Bad: An inflammatory nightshade
  • Beef:  Good: Excellent source of muscle building protein. 
                 Bad: Rich in artery clogging animal fat
  • Soy:   Good: High Protein alternative to meat. 
                Bad: Compounds in soy called isoflavones  increase risk of breast cancer.
  • Soy Milk:   May have feminizing effects in men. (Good or Bad, Who’s to say?)

There is one food everyone agrees is healthy, tastes good and can be eaten in massive quantities with no ill effects:  Milk Chocolate!
It is the only food that…What?…You’re kidding…Where did you hear that?  SHUT UP!

Categories // Daily Inflammation

The Wonderful Senate of OZ: The Musical

11.30.2021 by Fred Berman //

SONG: Sung to the tune of “The Merry Old Land of Oz.”

With a nut bag here and a racist there
and narcissistic wealthy snobs, that’s how a Senate we destroy
In the U.S. Senate of OZ!

Alleged celebrity charlatan and doctor? Mehmet Oz is taking a break from hawking magic elixirs for weight loss to run for the U.S. Senate in Pennsylvania.
If he wins (unfortunately stranger things have happened) I hope he, at least, shares his magic weight loss potions with his colleagues.  Perhaps we will have a few less Fat-Heads in congress.

Song: “To Dream the Impossible Dream” (Sung to the tune of: To Dream the Impossible Dream).

Categories // Daily Inflammation

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Fred and Linda

Click here to learn more about Fred and Linda.

Where in the World are Fred and Linda?

Categories

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  • Linda Presents: Fred’s Favorite Inedible Recipes
  • Match Wits with Inspector Cretín
  • Short, Short, Short Stories
  • Never-Ending Story: Until it does…
  • The Gospel According To Me! Why Are We Here?
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Linda

  • What Linda’s Been Doing

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