I thought I was, but I have received about 400 emails in the last 3 months telling me the same thing: “Last Reminder: Your Antivirus Protection Expires Today!”
A lesser man might panic, be soaked in flop sweat and inundated with thoughts of a quick and painless death; anything to avoid the agony of a computer virus born in the bowels of hell or Moscow or Mar-a-Lago.
But I thrive on danger, seek out the unimaginable and scoff at threats of fatal viral attacks. As I delete my spam and stare at my potentially virus infected screen, I pour myself three fingers of Macallan 1926 and telepathically send the message to all who seek my computer’s demise by the introduction of a sinister virus through an unprotected portal:
“Suck on THIS for 12 minutes Butt-munch!”