Hi! Welcome!
That is the extent of my faux-cheery greeting. I was advised by website gurus I should include a short “Get to Know Me” section. It’s quite a conundrum because the fastest way for me to alienate someone is having them get to know me. On the plus side I am a rapidly aging curmudgeon so I don’t really care. I checked my filters at the door when I turned 65, many years ago, so I will invoke one of the newest words included in the Oxford English Dictionary: Whatev!
My life is an open book. I have been described as ruggedly handsome in a non-traditional way which translates into a “4” on a good day. But for some mysterious reason, I have been blessed to have recently celebrated my 47th Wedding Anniversary to a “Rare and radiant maiden whom the Angels name Lenore…” but who chooses to be called Linda. In as much as she wants nothing to do with any social media platform, I will skip further description and continue with my short bio after suggesting you click on “What Linda’s Been Doing” so you can see why the National Yarn Association has awarded me the prestigious ‘Supporter of the Year” Award based on the high percentage of our disposable income spent on the fuzzy stuff.
Getting to know me, getting to know all about me (Broadway Musicals from 1950 through 1970 are my Jam!)
- I don’t like Piña Coladas, or getting caught in the rain.
- I’m just getting into health food (for appearances only).
- I don’t like champagne. (Two exceptions here: Cristal and Dom Pérignon if someone else is buying)
- I have twice had my name submitted to the Nobel Prize Committee for consideration but have yet to receive a reply from them. Perhaps next time I will spring for the $2.60 Signature Confirmation to make sure my letter has been received.
Linda and I have lived in over 20 different places and have friends all over the world. Magandang Umaga, Hola, Cheers, Bom Dia, Bonjour, G’day, Ni Hao , oot and aboot (I am not sure how to say Hello in Canadian).
And while I have figured out the meaning of life and how we came to be on this planet (I will share in weeks to come) the answer to the greatest mystery of the Universe still eludes me; How are the Kardashians billionaires while I am shopping for a used truss at the Goodwill store? Seriously, how?
As Captain of this website I am going to turn off the “Fasten Seatbelt” sign and allow you to move about the cabin. I hope you find something to enjoy here and, whether you do or don’t, please feel free to share your honest and unvarnished opinion. Even though I would love to repeal the second amendment to the Constitution and get all the surrogate phalluses you nut jobs call guns off the street, I still support the First Amendment and believe you have the right to free speech and can tell me, in any words you are able to spell, to bite the big one! So if your untethered ego and adolescent sensibilities require you to vent, please feel free. Use the Contact section where we have made it so easy to respond a 4 year old child could figure it out! (Yes Groucho, I’ll get you a 4 year old child since you can’t make heads nor tails of it).
Now get outta here ya crazy kids! Remember the two greatest lessons in life: 1. Don’t take any wooden nickels and 2. Be good. But if you can’t be good, be careful!***
***Jimmy Conway has taken issue with my judgement regarding the two greatest lessons in life and suggested I should share “da real ones witcha.” In the interest of fairness and under threat of a visit from Guido and Lenny I submit Jimmy’s two most important lessons in life: “Never rat on your Friends” and “Always keep your mouth shut!”