The American Association of Retired Persons, (AARP), is ever vigilant in looking out for the health and well-being of those of us in this stage of our lives; that being the final stage. Today’s article lists the top 10 risk factors of heart disease. They include lack of sleep, bad diet, loneliness, stress, sedentary lifestyle, obesity, tobacco and poor dental hygiene.
That’s a lot to remember so I follow the much simpler “Transylvanian Association of Retired Persons (TARP) Guide to a Healthy Heart.” TARP’s only rule for heart health is to avoid contact with anyone named Van Helsing; a person easily identifiable by the sharp wooden stakes and mallet he carries with him at all times.
Following TARPs guidelines I may live forever.