In honor of St. Valentine’s Day, the holiday that commemorates the 1929 massacre of seven members of Chicago’s notorious Northside Gang in the Lincoln Park garage, I am asking that in lieu of a giving me a fabulous gift you make a donation to my favorite charity, “Send A Needy 70 Year Old to Camp.“ This year’s deserving recipient will realize his lifelong dream of a trip to the therapeutic BUNNY RANCH in Moundhouse, Nevada. The package, The Old-timer’s Happy Ending Special, includes 3 minutes of activity and fifty-seven minutes for rest and resuscitation. A photo-shopped commemorative portrait is available for an additional charge.