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A New Massage Parlor Just Opened in Your Neighborhood

02.05.2022 by Fred Berman //

Is it cause for worry, for joy or perhaps indifference?  Depends on what type of massage parlor it is.  

  • Therapeutic: Located in the clinic of a chiropractor or sports medicine doctor; its goal the healing of an injury. Boring.
  • Acupressure: An ancient healing art that uses the fingers to press key points on the surface of the skin to stimulate the body’s natural self-curative abilities. Might actually work if the masseuse was trained by an ancient healer in the Kunlun Mountains of Tibet.
  • Shiatsu: Developed in Japan, shiatsu is a finger-pressure technique utilizing traditional acupuncture points. Similar to acupressure, shiatsu concentrates on unblocking the flow of life energy and restoring balance in the meridians and organs in order to promote self-healing.  Also the answer to the question “What happened to Sue?”  “I shiatsu!”  (A bit of a reach but at least I tried!)
  • Hot Stone:  Warms pressure points but also great for extracting information from international spies and double agents.
  • Swedish:  One of the most commonly taught and well-known massage techniques, Swedish massage is a vigorous system of treatment designed to energize the body by stimulating circulation. Not to be confused with just a “Massage” by a hot blond from Sweden.  There are 5 basic strokes in Swedish massage, but most of us are done by #3.
  • 24 Hour Massage No Waiting:  Usually off a main street with a small neon sign blinking in the window.  Highly skilled masseuses are able to adjust each session to the very special needs of their clients…so I’m told.

Regardless of the style, all massages share the same lofty goal; an ending that is HAPPY!

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