My bank, a major heartless and soul-sucking corporation, published the above titled article on their website. Hoping to create an impression of caring about anything but profit they authored this deeply moving and brilliant nugget of advice:
“As time goes by, keep offering encouragement, support and making purchases to help out your local businesses as you are able – these meaningful gestures will help sustain businesses and create hope for a brighter future.”
Though only one of six brilliant ideas, this sage advice stands well above their other gems like “Shop Online,” “Send a Gift to a Friend,” and “Tryout New Services.”
I can only assume they held a séance and channeled the spirit of the great economist John Kenneth Galbraith to come up with the definitive game plan for saving small businesses. Rest easy America, The major banks and corporations have got it under control. So what if they avoid paying taxes; they got our back!