Archives for 2024

…I’ll be very honest with you!”  Vinnie Gambini’s admission to J.T. when he went to collect the $200 J.T. lost but refused to pay to Mona Lisa Vito.  Perhaps it was just a fictional encounter between Joe Pesci, Chris Ellis and Marisa Tomei in one of the greatest cinematic classics of all time, My Cousin Vinney.  If you haven’t seen it correct that egregious error ASAP!

I am still in a daze wondering how the majority of Americans, and more specifically the Republican party, chose a lying, cheating narcissistic felon to be their leader.  I have a friend in England who was vacationing in the Maldives, a spot popular with Russian tourists, who said the bars were wild with Russian celebrations when the results of the American election were announced.  Our allies did not share their joy.
BUT…
The American people have spoken so I shall give myself the ass-kicking I deserve (feel free to pile on) and sincerely hope I am wrong.  Maybe the President will end his name-calling and search for retribution and honor the American judicial system and see that those responsible for crimes against the country are punished.  Perhaps he will be the leader of all our citizens and give a voice to the millions in our country with opinions that do not mirror his own.  Isn’t that what we all hope for?

Vinnie Gambini was considering an ass-kicking over $200.  Our stakes are quite a bit higher.

       The aphorism has been credited to Lao-Tzu, the ancient Chinese philosopher, (Although modern researchers think it may have been first said by his frat brother Moshe at a toga party in Lao’s honor).  It means you have to get started, even with only one tiny movement forward, to get anywhere, no matter how long or fraught with danger the journey ahead.
       The problem is after the first step there’s another and another and another.  Steps, Steps, steps, no end in sight; no light at the end of a tunnel. But if a light there be, are you really willing to go into the light?
       Better to go back to bed and reconsider beginning your journey at a later date. I speak from wisdom born of experience; real or most likely, imagined.
       Hear me, Grasshopper.  This will be on the test!

 A question to all of you insane douchebag gun nuts that twist the intent of the second amendment to mean it’s fine to satisfy your bloodlust by arming yourself with an unlimited amount of automatic assault weapons.  Can you explain the third amendment or any other of the 27 that have been ratified?  Can you define ratified?  Can we at least agree on the fact you are an idiot?

That’s how my day is going.  How’s yours? 
Has any government official tried to quarter a soldier in your home during peacetime?

We all do it.  Trying getting through a day without judging some thought or action of another person.  We have differing opinions as to what is important but I believe there is one area where judgment is swift, undeniable and indulged in by everyone; watching the occupants emerge from their car when parking in a designated handicapped spot.

On average about 1 out of 10 people emerging have little sign of a condition requiring close proximity to the front door.  But looks can be deceiving so, just like we have to do when we watch a bunch of disingenuous travelers pretend to need extra time board the airplane before us, we must simply suck it up.  We senior citizens should not have to do the major amount of sucking it takes to get through the day!

Who can I see about that?

     Prior to November 15, 2001, Japanese manufacturers Sony and Nintendo.  Microsoft lost tons of money bringing the system to market but Bill Gates was afraid gaming systems would eventually compete with PCs.
     Fortunately for Microsoft they acquired game developer Bungie and their launch title game release, Halo, became one of the best-selling games of all time.   Halo ushered in a new age of first-person shooters in online gaming,
     We silly old baby boomers had to be satisfied with shooting cut-outs of moving ducks or black bears in a shooting gallery.  Just a clink and a bell instead of spurting blood. 

     Better living through modern computing!

What would a world where everyone’s first thought was how to help rather than how to take advantage; how to alleviate suffering in others because you can; to share when you have extra and ask for help when you need it.

But a truly empathetic population might lead to world peace and that is just not good business.  I don’t think the CEOs and shareholders have anything to worry about.  

The twinkling of stars, or “stellar scintillation,” is actually a complex phenomenon involving the physics of light and the Earth’s atmosphere. When light travels from one medium to another, it refracts, or changes direction.

However between air pollution, light pollution, and atmospheric interference like clouds, we city dwellers rarely get the opportunity to see stars twinkling.  I am one of the fortunate people that sees stars twinkling every time Linda walks into a room.  Before you dismiss this as “romantic twaddle” Dr. Neal deGrasse Tyson, there is real science behind the phenomenon. 

When an Angel walks into a room and the image is refracted by the light passing through the retina which directly connects to the sub-dominal cortex of the brain, the light emitting diodes naturally flutter contrapuntally to the beating of one’s heart reflecting back to the medulla oblongata and subsequently registers refracted light almost identical to the interspatial light of a twinkling star. This entire quantum chain reaction occurs in .3141592 (rounded) of a second nobody other than those schooled in advanced theoretical physics notice the change.

By completing this course you have earned 3 Continuing Education Credits and I believe I earned a peanut butter cookie.  Has anyone seen the orderly?

This carrot is straight out of a 2 lb. bag of organic carrots I opened this morning. I may have embellished the top with a few dots but the structure is all natural!

Linda accused me of what my prudish generation called having a “dirty” mind.  But seriously folks, am I the only one who sees it?  Can’t you just hear the lascivious carrot sneering his taunt “Why don’t you munch on THIS for 10 minutes?”

Behold the grandeur of Mother Nature!

In the 6th grade a few of us students were given the privilege of checking out books from the Culver City Junior High library.  The first book I read was The Good Earth by Pearl Buck.  It sparked my lifelong love of reading fiction. The first year after I retired I read 58 novels and with few exceptions have read every Pulitzer Prize winning novel. I only mention this to put into context my dismay at the idea children are moving away from reading.  I guess it’s understandable given our electronic me-me-me culture.

When you look at the what we settle for in our government and Supreme Court and realize we no longer value honesty, hard work or empathy for the less fortunate, it seems like the logical next step.  Let’s become the dumbest country as well!

A little truth from Taylor Swift.  As the president and currently the only member of the imaginary Septuagenarian Swiftie Club, a small group of old curmudgeons who think they might have a shot with her if they were single, I feel qualified to comment on her lyrics.

Ms. Swift pinpoints the key step in becoming self-aware.  “Know Thyself.”  The ancient phrase was inscribed in the forecourt of the Temple of Apollo in Delphi, Greece.  To create a better world we need to start with ourselves.

“In her book Insight, organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich looked at hundreds of studies on self-awareness. She defines the concept as “the ability to see ourselves clearly — to understand who we are, how others see us, and how we fit into the world around us.” 

 Only about 10%-15% of people possess true self-awareness, according to Eurich’s research. Safe to say none of us here are in that elite demographic.  But we can get there.

So do something about it you ridiculous Buttmunch! 
(My attempt at tough love!  Did it work?)