Archives for 2024

The Dailymotion video on Google Chrome unmasks the hidden truth about buffet food.  Many of us are shocked to learn that the fried food at that $9.95 all-you-can-eat buffet might not be the best quality on the market. They want us to believe that crispy fried chicken and shrimp is mostly fat, salt and batter.  It is also their contention that the meat and fish are not of the highest quality.

I’ll pause here and give you a minute to let that sink in.  It’s a real blow to those who are into fine dining at an affordable price.

So much for the Buffet’s dream of being awarded a Michelin Star.

According to a recent study from  JAMA Network Open, a full 80% of patients intentionally withheld the truth from their doctor.  Even a small error of omission can have a negative impact on your health.  The reason for the lie?  Mainly patients didn’t want to be judged or lectured or were embarrassed.  But isn’t the doctor’s office a judgement free zone?  Men, so what if you have a thing on your weenie or impacted bowels?  Ladies, did you feel unusual discomfort during an extended “Reverse Cowgirl” or had an anal bleaching go wrong?”  Tell your doctor! Not only can he or she help, but don’t doctors deserve a good laugh once in a while?  It’s a very stressful job.

(Too much?  Sorry, your good health is too important to me to not be direct…Yeah…we’ll go with that.)

Welcome and thank you for joining me in this meditation to bring calm to you in a world gone mad.  Remember meditation is not religious, you do not have to sit in a specific position nor does it require knowledge or belief in any special entity or power.  It is simply a way to bring you into the present, let go of the pain of the past and allay fears of the future.  Remember two things:

• You are the creator of your feelings, not the victim of them.
• You are a part of nature, not apart from it.

Let’s begin.  Close your eyes and relax.  Concentrate on your breathing, slow and deep.  Now imagine the light of the universe illuminating your thoughts.  It is a bright and uplifting light bringing peace and clarity.  Go into that light; go into the light as it bathes you in healing…WAIT! STOP!  Don’t go in…Helloooo, are you still there?  Anyone?

Oops, sorry.  My bad.

It’s an outdated and insulting cliché that we, the Boomers who have considerable life experience based on our time on earth, have yet to master or even accept new technology.  Still the organization dedicated to the well-being of our generation does not agree and publishes basics of modern technology for our continuing education.  And while I rail against the stereotype I must admit I, on occasion, get a helpful tip so it is with an open mind I read this article.  Here are a few of the tips explained:

1. To find your phone in the dark simply say “Hey Siri, turn on my flashlight.”  Duh!
2. You can create custom vibrations although I’ve heard men find it annoying when their wife’s phone vibrates incessantly while they are trying to sleep.
3. You can fix Siri’s pronunciation although why would I want her to sound smarter than me?  Smarter than I…No, me.
4. You can shake to delete and restore writing.  This is a good tip but they needed more specific information because to make it work you must be holding the phone when shaking.

How about a technology tip for you of the younger generation from us old boomers?  When having a meal with friends and family, home or away, whether experiencing the Omakase at Sushi Ichimura in Tribeca, or munching a buck-fifty hot dog and drink at the Costco snack bar, put your sacred cellphone in your pocket and try actual face-to-face conversation.  And whatever happens do NOT prove your point by pulling up something on the screen and shoving the phone in everybody’s face to smugly demonstrate your imagined intellectual superiority!

You have to be a member to access the AARP’s wisdom.  I offer mine free of charge.  You’re welcome!

According to Dr. Sue Morter at drsuemorter.com “a staggering 70% of adults carry unresolved trauma, often rooted in early life experiences? This hidden trauma is a silent catalyst for a myriad of challenges – from chronic fatigue and anxiety to relationship struggles and financial hurdles. However, the silver lining in this revelation is profound: the psychological, neurological, and biochemical impacts of trauma are not only identifiable but also reversible.”

To help you overcome these challenges Dr. Sue is hosting 2024 Trauma Super Conference. This event will be presented online from January 29 to February 4, 2024 and is free of charge, but I can save you the endless post event marketing, precious time and tedious effort.  To resolve any trauma from your past do the following:
When an adult child asks to move back in with you use the one word unfamiliar to most of us parents when talking to our children,  “NO.”

Problem Solved. (And magic is real!)

“It was on this date,  January 11, 1964, that, on behalf of the U.S. Government, Luther Terry the United States Surgeon General Luther published a report directly linking cigarette smoking to cancer.  He knew his report was a bombshell so intentionally chose to release it on January 11, 1964, a Saturday, to limit its immediate effects on the stock market.”  The link was known since the 1930s but tobacco was big business so the government chose to suppress the research.  But on this day Terry finally had the huevos to stand up and tell the truth.  How many lives could have been saved or kids protected if someone had spoken up sooner.

Makes you think about similarities to our current dilemma.  Who do we know that cost our country millions of dollars spreading election lies, fomented rebellion costing precious lives, and spreads lies and hate whenever he utters a word, all for his personal gain?  Though far from a blameless child, I will say it: “The self-proclaimed emperor has no clothes.”  He needs to be flushed so he can spend his days with other like organic matter.

Since there is very little funny about cancer, smoking and our pathetic presidential candidates I opted to go for hard-hitting (yawn) political cynicism!
I am sure my deep insights will change everybody’s mind…Now that is funny!

SPOILER ALERT: Hamburgers, Fried Chicken, Pizza, Potatoes and Gravy are NOT on the list.  

But, as part of a balanced diet, you may munch away to your heart’s content on the following:
Celery, Lettuce, Watermelon, Broccoli, Cauliflower, Grapefruit, Mushrooms, Strawberries, Blackberries, Raspberries, Blueberries, Kiwi, Carrots, Spinach and Kale.

MMMM!  You won’t know good eatin’ ’til you’ve gathered around Grannie’s iron kettle next to the cement pond out back and tasted her cauliflower, kiwi, carrot and kale stew!  And who needs salad dressing when you have celery and lettuce?  
“What’s in a name?  That which we call a kiwi by any other name would taste just as icky.”

This culturally insignificant, Shakespearean Adjacent Moment brought to you by The Daily Inflammation on Betterfredthandead.com.  A website that has apparently run out of creativity and humor.

Let’s put this behind us and move forward.  Have a piece of cake and we’ll try again tomorrow!

I just had the worst experience trying to buy an appliance at Costco.  I have purchased twice before and it was great but this time they dropped the ball.  I know it seems a bit extreme but some things are too difficult to just accept and move on. 

I will never set foot in a Costco again!   That is, at least until we need another one of those delicious rotisserie chickens they sell for the ridiculously low price of $5.00.  Probably Thursday.

“To err is human, to forgive divine,” especially when food is involved!

Simple, wrap, of course!  Shall I explain?
I go to some lengths to “wrap” our trash before depositing in the garage trash bin.  Linda was at first amused and has lately come to the conclusion I may need help.  So I have come to you, my adoring fans, to weigh in on the subject.

I don’t use wrapping paper but if we have a non-recyclable paper or plastic container I seal some trash in it.  There is a reason.  We have a small 1-car garage and it gets hot in the summer causing the trash to give off an unpleasant odor.  I tried buying a trashcan deodorant; you know, covering it up with perfume, like the French. It was inconvenient.  I had to move it each time I deposited one on my creations.  Please note: since I have begun wrapping, no smell.

Linda does not dispute the success of my work but thinks I should refrain from taking such pleasure in my wrapping skill and insisting she views it before going into the trash.  My thought is what if Picasso dumped “Starry Night” before anyone saw it?  What a loss!
So if you are ever in the neighborhood feel free to drop in for a sniff and a view.  Your journey will not go unrewarded.

Who said I would be bored in retirement!

My post of last December 26th was titled “Do you know Joanne Lakosil” where I commented on the email Joanne sent me promising to enhance my confidence in the bedroom and all I had to do was click on the link of a total stranger with an unsolicited offer.  I managed to resist that temptation but she has returned with a new email promise.  This time her offer is not something as fleeting as bedroom confidence but a “Fleet-ing” offer to a guaranteed satisfactory transaction.  Available to me was A free pdf, originating from the IP Address:  Your-Colon <Amy@rockyourhomeschool> and was as follows:

        POOP-Problems ??? (try this for perfect poops)

Although ever so tempting I again resisted following the link.  It was my #2 smart move.

(#2 jokes never get old, do they?)