Archives for 2024

On January 16th of this year Kate Middleton, Her Royal Highness, the Princess of Wales, the Duchess of Cambridge and whatever else, underwent abdominal surgery.  For the last 2 months there has been an incessant spate of news releases about her condition, all proclaiming they will not tell us why?  I would like to put The Palaces Yarn Spinners minds at ease. No one really cares?

Another famous Englishman once said, “Methinks thou dost protest too much!”  Just let it go. TMI!   Yes, we know, she’s a saint.  Speedy recovery to the future Queen, but all this attention.  Who does she think she is, a Kardashian?

She wishes!

The above title is an essay by Monique M. Verrier published in Religions,
September 5, 2021.  It is available for download on sciprofiles.com website. The article was recommended to me by a friend who holds a PhD in Clinical Psychology during a discussion of addiction, healing, existential psychology and Internal Family Systems, a topic all to itself.

I guess in the rare moment I spoke, I said something during the mostly one-sided conversation that led him to believe I would be smart enough to understand a single word of the article.  I soon proved him wrong.  The first paragraph titled Abstract is best described as the Jackson Pollock of essays; a jumble of lines we are told is great art but who the hell knows?

I did understand the following paragraph heading; 1. Introduction. But in just a few words I was again lost, drowning in a sea of word soup, all meaning lost.  The last time I remember being this confused was when I read Beyond the Legend; One Man’s Search for the Clitoris, another nonsensical work.

So if there is an Einstein in the group that chooses to read this essay, I’d appreciate it if you’d send me the Cliff Notes version and in 50 words or less give me a few talking points so I can impress my friend with my intellectual depth.  

While we are on the subject…
     You can buy a pair pf reading glasses, you know, the cheap magnifiers that you lose all the time, for $1.50 at the dollar store or $14.99 at CVS Pharmacy.  Common sense would tell you to buy them at the dollar store.  But there is the possibility the cheap ones were made by an eight year old child in Hangzhou and who knows, maybe the CVS pair came from the same place; the giant corporations shamelessly extracting exorbitant profits from an uneducated consumer pool.

    It’s times like this I ask myself “What would Kim Kardashian do?”  

It is no secret that 99% of the products offered at many of these cheap retail outlets are pure crap.  Sure you can get low cost kitchen utensils but do they last past first use?   Still there are a few hidden bargains and with high inflation and uncertainty in the world, I’d like to help you navigate the disheveled, disease-ridden aisles of your local discount retailer.  Following are a few suggestions.
     DO BUY;                                                                          DO NOT BUY
Party Supplies & Balloons                                        Pacemakers
Office Supplies                                                               Life Insurance
Travel Size Toiletries                                                    Do-It-Yourself Liposuction Kits
Greeting Cards                                                              Viagra from Lenny on Register 3

I don’t do this for the accolades.  Just knowing how grateful you are is enough for me!

I am tearing down the opaque curtain and letting the sun shine on little known legitimate tax deductions; the reason  men like Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk are able to circumvent their tax obligations legally:  Prepare to be amazed: 

• Whaling Boat Repairs:  You can deduct up to $10,000 per year on repairs.  I know whaling is banned but some Indigenous Tribes are allowed and with names like Bezos and Musk they very well might qualify!
• Clarinet Lessons: The lessons can help correct overbite. The IRS allows blowing in a clarinet for medical reasons.  Musk spends so much time blowing himself I thought this might help even more. 
• Body Oil: It takes a lot of oil to make a pro bodybuilder shine so, in their case it is deductible.  Both spend hours every day flexing so I’m sure the IRS allows it.

Life is simple.  Mind Blown!

[Source Article: Bone Spurs, Medical Deductions and Draft Dodging Deferments for the Wealthy]

A very old joke but it contains a lesson for today.

Cruel Man:  “The Whip!
Fair Damsel in Distress:  “No, Not the Whip!”
Cruel Man:  “The Whip!
Fair Damsel in Distress:  “No, Not the Whip!”
Cruel Man:  “The Whip!”
Fair Damsel in Distress:  “No, Not the Whip. Anything but the whip!”
Cruel Man:  “ANYTHING?”
Fair Damsel in Distress:  “…The Whip.”

No matter how awful your situations it can always be much, much worse.

“Biden”
“No, Not Biden, Anyone but Biden!”
“Trump?”
“…Biden!”

In The Book of Genesis, the explanation for the creation of life is easy to understand; written for us simpletons.

In biology sayeth Wikipedia, “abiogenesis is the natural process by which life has arisen from non-living matter such as simple organic compounds.  The prevailing scientific hypothesis is that the transition from non-living to living entities on Earth was not a single event, but a process of increasing complexity involving the formation of a habitable planet, the prebiotic synthesis of organic molecules, molecular self-replication, self-assembly, autocatalysis, and the emergence of cell membranes.

Let’s go with the first one.  We have a much better chance of remembering it if there is a pop-quiz. 

A new study out of Canada’s York University published in the Journal of Happiness Studies, confirms how you view yourself has a major impact on your happiness.  From my quick scan of the article, all evidence points to Self-Love as the key to happiness.  This is important information as many in my generation were taught that self-love stunted one’s growth.  I know that was not true as I grew to be the tallest in my family, reaching 6’3 1/2” and boy did I love myself.

So go ahead and work your magic.  “Don’t worry.  Be happy!”

Afterword:  I am told that I may have misinterpreted the connotation of “self-love.” but I stand behind my original thought.  And for those that know me and are snickering at my claim to be over 6 feet tall, I admit I am shrinking at an alarming rate.  If I live as long as I hope I will probably bottom out at about 5″1″.

International Women’s Day is a celebration where we can all show our appreciation and love to all the incredible women of the world for their strength, resilience and grace!  In our home every day is International Linda’s Day where I try and show my love and gratitude for the Angel that is perfect in every way except, perhaps, for her preference in men.

I am a lucky dude!

Spring is almost upon us.  A perfect time for me to indulge in my passion of Nephelococcygia.  No, I am not enamored with the recently deceased but rather engaged in the practice of finding shapes in clouds.  It is both relaxing and exhilarating; a paradox worthy of Erwin Schrödinger.

Where others see a puffy wad of cotton I see Rodin’s “The Thinker.”
Where others see an impending rainstorm I see ethereal landscape of unimaginable beauty.
Where an oblivious soul doesn’t look up or take the time to stop and smell the roses, I see…roses.
“Bows and flows of angel hair, ice cream castles in the air and feather canyons everywhere.  I’ve looked at clouds that way.”

Oops, sorry.  Channeled Joni Mitchell for a minute; the memory taking me back to 1969 when we had a very short “thing.”  And although I love the song, I think she reached her creative pinnacle in ’71 with the Blue Album.  I wonder if our brief fantasy encounter inspired that work of beauty?  

I think we all know the answer to that one!