Archives for 2024

The bidding is open for betterfredthandead.com.
Do I hear $1,000,000.00?  

I can wait…

Are you experiencing any of the following symptoms?

• Difficulty with everyday tasks like being polite and empathetic.
• Communication problems such as believing a person who has told 30,000 documented lies.
• Personality changes like no longer even pretending to care about those less fortunate than you.
• Confusion about time and place thinking we are in antebellum United States.
• Troubling behavior like supporting a sociopathic narcissist who pretends to have Christian values for President.
• Forgetting old memories like what a nightmare it was living through 2017-2021.
• Loss of interest in maintaining our individual freedoms.

The cure is simple, cast your vote for a human being.  If your confused I’ll be glad to help.  We make things so difficult!

We begin our series with some easily explained actions that are really not mysteries at all. Just science and common sense!

• What is Nuclear Fusion?:  Nuclear fusion occurs when the nuclei of two atoms combine to form a new atom and a neutron.
• How Does AI Work?:  AI works by combining large amounts of data with fast, iterative processing and intelligent algorithms. This allows the software to learn automatically from patterns and features in the data.
• Why do Civilizations Collapse?: Civilizations are complex systems, and their survival depends on many interconnected factors.  Overpopulation, resource depletion, and environmental degradation can lead to a decline in food production and Poof!  The end is nigh!
• What Other Factors Can Destroy Civilization?: Fear, Corruption, social inequality, political instability, economic mismanagement, and repeating fatal errors.  In other words, electing Trump again.

Tori Spelling!  I know many of you just said “Who?”  My point exactly!

Tori has a new podcast and whined about how alone she is after her divorce. Shedding crocodile tears she said she had wanted the divorce from her husband Dean McDermott for 15 years.  I figured Dean got tired of waiting for the expected zillions from Tori’s mom Candy.  He hoped she’d loosen the purse strings and share some the millions she inherited from her husband, mega-wealthy Television producer Aaron Spelling.  When that didn’t happen I suspect he cut his losses and split.  (I actually have no idea what happened, but I always go to the most romantic story; the romance between man and his millions.)

And yes, I see the irony of me ragging on Tori but seem to know so much about her life?  I keep up on this for you! (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!)

You might want to check out her nude Kim Kardashian look-alike picture where, of course, all the naughty bits are well covered.  She did forget to put a bag over her head!

Yes, again I see the irony of someone who looks like me commenting on other people’s appearance.  Sorry Tori!  I mean about the money!

Yes, it’s April 1st and I should post some absolutely ridiculous statements to mark the occasion:

• I’ll vote for DJ Trump for President.

However I would fool no one as the chances of that happening were best stated by Madonna (Louise Ciccone) when she was in bed with Wayne Campbell while Garth Algar stood at the side watching.  Her response (and mine): “When Monkeys fly out of my butt!”

In the spirit of a day of Peace and Love may we ask all politicians; democrats, republicans, independents, green party, libertarians, constitution party, natural law party, tinfoil beanie wearing party, free-the nipple party, whigs, tories and vegans for pork, to please honor the day by refraining from spewing hate and asking for money.  I know, it’s the last day of the month and the last day of quintuple match from a mystery donor but there will be other days and other lies for you to tell.  

Just please S.T.F.U. for 1 day.

This moment of tranquility brought to you by Easter: it’s more than just colored eggs!

This article sent from MyHomeWeekly to my extremely busy inbox. As I am wont to do, I have a few cogent comments to help you save money.  It might provide an extra $2 allowing you to purchase that winning lottery ticket you know is in your future!

1. Leverage Natural Light:  Use the light from the windows?  Enlightening tip.  Nothing short of brilliant!
2. Seal Leaks and Drafts: What is a “seal leaks, and how do you stop them?”  I am always up for a draft, especially Bud Light!
3. Upgrade to LED Bulbs:  I don’t know what those are.
4. Smart Thermostat Installation:  Think about freeing up the hours you spend adjusting the thermostat.  You can take an extra shift at the car wash!
5. Maintain Your HVAC System:  Maintain your equipment; revolutionary idea!
6. Utilize Energy Efficient Appliances:  After the cost of purchasing them is amortized, you should see some savings in about 30 years!
7. Adjust Water Heating:  Showering in cold water is considered life affirming and healthy by many people from Lapland!
8. Invest in Insulation:  I hear you can get some great deals on asbestos!
9. Practice efficient cooking and laundry:  This is particularly effective if you have some dirt on your neighbor and can cook and do laundry at their house.
10. Mind Your Electronics:  Disobeying your electronics, or your wife, can be very costly, indeed!

I am here to help!

“If you’re looking to move to an up-and-coming hub, but still want the quaintness of a small city, we’ve got just the list for you.”  MoneyGeek analyzed the economic growth and prosperity markers of 211 U.S. cities with populations of 63,000-100,000.  The personal finance site recently revealed its findings, sharing a list of 25 “rising hotspots” dominated by cities in Florida and Texas. North Port, Florida, took the top spot, with increases of 28% for population, 43% for housing units, and 46% for median household income since 2017. 

This presents a rare opportunity for America to unload its dead weight at the top of the market.  We attach Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama and sell the package to Mexico at a fair price, $100.00.  Talk about making America great again!

I have a lot to say on the subject of being afraid.  We are a world of fraidy-cats!  I am going to post a few things on this subject so that you may learn, Grasshoppers!

First, a few odd ones:

• Arachibutyrophobia – Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. That’s nutty!
• Nomophobia – Fear of being without your mobile phone.  Suffered by 99% of cellphone owners.
• Xanthophobia – Fear of the color yellow.  Can you imagine being stuck in a dark room with a banana?
• Scumbagaphobia – Fear of people realizing you are a sociopathic megalomaniac with a bad comb-over, totally undeserving of a second term!
• Dumbassaphobia – Believing any of the 30,000+ documented lies told by a sufferer of Scumbagaphobia.
• Ablutophobia – Fear of bathing.  It is possible not to know you have this and then only your co-workers suffer.
• Inflammophobia – Fear of not posting a daily insipid rant and actually spend your time accomplishing something of value.

…to name a few.

This is the message I received today telling me my Amazon account is suspended and I need to login to the link they sent to re-activate access.  Another spammer trying to steal and create havoc.  Whenever something good comes along some vile smelling, black-hearted, festering scumbag ruins it.  I am out of original thoughts to express my outrage so I’ll borrow the words of Monty Python, elegantly stated in their quest for the Holy Grail, to express my displeasure with criminal spammers:

“Mind your own business you don’t frighten us you silly pig-dogs.  Go and spoil your bottom, silly persons.  I blow my nose at you.  I don’t wanna talk to you no more you empty headed animal foot trough water!  I’ll fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberry!”