Thoughts
by Fred Berman //
So let’s get him some help, not elect him President. I hear they have some great doctors in Siberia.
by Fred Berman //
Good advice from Edgar Cayce, reading 2984-1. Edgar Cayce was clairvoyant so although these words were written near 100 years ago he must have seen this year’s presidential election in his dreams. |
Out of a population of over 300 million people we will have to choose either an 81 year old with a good heart who seemingly can barely open his eyes, or a 77 year old sleazebag hatemonger who loves no one but himself and lies incessantly.
This is ridiculous and there is nothing to do but laugh and hope we all wake up soon.
by Fred Berman //
Our friends at the AARP are looking out for us again with more tips on how to lose weight a subject on almost everyone’s mind. But I was a bit disappointed with the answers. They were all the same tips you would give to a person of any age; count calories, exercise more, eat protein and whole grains and cut out the sugar. But they did include one last tip that makes the whole thing work for me; ” Don’t get discouraged if you slip. Everyone has lapses. When that happens, instead of giving up, do something to get back on track.”
So that’s what I do three times a day. After each meal I forgive myself for the slip and get back on track. No weight loss yet but I can feel myself getting healthier!
Nothing quite like the satisfaction of meeting one’s goals!
by Fred Berman //
Well, actually “Boxer Briefs” is the more acceptable term now. But we boomers who are lovers of fine poetry and seeing underwear fondly remember the brilliantly crafted stanza:
I see London,
I see France.
I see [Someone’s]
Underpants!
Ahh, memories…Back to business. One of the suggestions for a great gift for Dad was a package of Mack Weldon Boxer Briefs, 3 pairs for $84.00.
My first thought was “who would pay $28.00 a pair for underpants that were not purchased at Victoria’s Secret?” But then I read the description and was intrigued.
“These boxer briefs hold everything in place without the legs rolling up or the waistband slipping down. They’re buttery soft and remain cool and comfortable all day long,”
So for those of you in a quandary as to what to buy me for a gift I offer this suggestion to relieve the stress of such a critical decision. Don’t mention it!
P.S. Linda say’s I should get a hobby as I have way too much idle time on my hands. I like to think of it as my “creative time-out!”
by Fred Berman //
Script Treatment for Episode #157 of The Twilight Zone
[Voice over: “You are about to enter another dimension. A dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.”
[Prologue: Host Rod Serling enters through the haze of smoke into a political rally with about 20 people in attendance, (it will be wildly exaggerated by the speaker as 20,000 later). At the podium is an aging and haggard candidate railing against his nation’s voting, legal and fast food delivery systems. The host speaks:]
Serling: “Presented for your inspection, one Tronald Dump, former leader of this unnamed but eerily familiar nation. Although he is a convicted felon, openly hates any opposition, told more than 30,000 lies while in office, misappropriated funds from a charity he supported, was fined $25 million and forced to close his useless university, made up a story about phony elections undermining the system he swore to protect because he’s a sore loser, was convicted in a system he wanted to use against others, but now is lying about the proceedings and what was said by the judge; show all signs of being a narcissistic sociopath, it would appear he has a slim chance of winning the election.. How is this possible?
[Dump heard in the background “I’m the bigly smart, no one’s as smart as me, only I can save the country, forget about the lies and bankruptcies because the people I stole from loved it, they said so, especially the women when I grabbed them by the…”]
[Voice Over:
“You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension, a dimension of sound, sight, and mind. You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas, a dimension where mindless drones support a sub-human sleaze. However freaking unbelievable, we just crossed over into The Twilight Zone.”
by Fred Berman //
One of the Four Immeasurables I want to live by. But…”Guilty.”
Taking pleasure in another’s misery only perpetuates suffering, But…”Guilty on all counts.”
Don’t let the smile on my face fool you. I am suffering. In the words of John Mellencamp, “It hurts so good!”
by Fred Berman //
On June 3, Jupiter, Mercury, Uranus, Mars, Neptune, and Saturn (in that order) will line up in the sky. An alignment of three or four planets is “fairly common,” but six planets is rare.
So take your telescope outside and be ready to view his wonder from earth. And for those ordinary, garden variety “Peeping Tom” perverts that have no interest in astronomy but enjoy watching the neighbors when they forget to close the curtains, this alignment, should you be caught peeping, will prove to be a plausible excuse for being on the street with high-powered binoculars.
The Universe provides!
by Fred Berman //
AARP Health suggests some strange methods to possibly minimize the ringing in your ears. The bizarrely suggest eating a Mediterranean diet, reducing stress, sound therapy, a hearing aid, cognitive therapy, limiting alcohol and nicotine; all have nearly zero chance of success. I’ll share with you some actions that will work!
I hope you accept these suggestions in the spirit they are given!
by Fred Berman //
From 1997 when he was elected as Mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska, by an overwhelming write-in vote, Stubbs held the office without challenge. From all accounts he was warm and loving and brought the town together in a way that seems impossible with today’s climate of hate and whiney little bitch candidates from whom we are forced to choose.
Unfortunately Stubbs, a cat by birth, died in 2007 after 20 years in office. But there must be a feline somewhere willing to take on the job and bring some humanity back to the office, because a textbook narcissistic sociopath with a bad comb-over and that other old dude are polarizing and give me little hope for the future.
In the words of the great American philosopher and poet Ed Grimley, “We’re doomed as doomed can be don’t you know? I’ve gone completely mental!
Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.””
by Fred Berman //
And stupid people clearly identify themselves by:
Don’t be stupid!