Archives for 2024

In linguistics a portmanteau word is a word that combines the form and meaning of two or more other words; a blend. 
Common examples include the following:

• Motel:  Motor Lodge + Hotel
• Brunch:  Breakfast + Lunch
• Frenemy:  Friend + Enemy  (That backstabbing asshole boss at work you have to pretend to like)
• Bromance:  Brother (male) + Romance (Non-sexual although one may feel a slight twinge in one’s loins)
• Cosplay:  Costume + Play (When your partner dresses up like Little Red Riding Hood and you as the Big Bad Wolf and give her a big surprise…or so I’m told?) 

When you hear the word Titicaca you think of the largest lake in South America nestled in The Andes straddling Peru and Bolivia.  When I hear Titicaca I think it’s the greatest Portmanteau Word ever!

According to The Harvard Medical Journal, some people find certain sugar-like molecules found in many foods — including milk, some fruits and vegetables, wheat, rye, high fructose corn syrup, and artificial sweeteners — can be difficult to digest.  These molecules are called FODMAPs — short for fermentable oligosaccharides, disaccharides, monosaccharides, and polyols. When gut bacteria feed on FODMAPs, gas and bloating can occur.

Should you stop eating them?  Let your body make the decision.  If, after you eat a meal laden with FODMAPS, you fart like a motorboat with a faulty spark plug going 60 knots (69.0468 MPH) on a choppy lake, I’d cut down on them next time you eat.

Only 3.  Before I retired I appeared in dozens of searches each week.  In the last 6 years of retirement my appearances have steadily declined until last week’s pathetic result.  I never used LinkedIn, never applied for a job on it and think it’s just a Facebook for untalented worker’s looking to kiss up to bosses or pretend they’re relevant.  I don’t need, want or have any chance of accepting a job offer of any kind.  My self-worth is not based on how many searches I appear in on the stupidest website ever!  I could not care less about my LinkedIn results.

…Still, only 3?   Hmmmmmmmmm.

By definition, a solstice occurs at the point in Earth’s orbit when the planet reaches its peak tilt toward the sun. During the summer solstice, the sun appears at the highest point in the sky and receives the most solar rays, giving us the longest day of the year.

If you were unaware and want to recreate the longest day of the year simply sit in front of your television and watch a 12 hour marathon of “Keeping up with the Kardashians” reruns.  It will seem like a month of Sundays.

     I think yes!
     At a recent political rally in Las Vegas, Donald Trump delivered a rambling nonsensical rant where he said if he were on a sinking boat with a powerful battery and saw a shark “10 yards over there” he would opt to be electrocuted rather than face a shark attack.  I believe we should take him at his word and do our best to accommodate him.
     Trump is scheduled to be sentenced for his felony convictions on July 11th.  While both are good options, I hope the judge is compassionate in his sentencing,  hears his request, and takes feeding him to the sharks off the table!

On the final day of shooting, the man who single-handedly ruined the show for me in about year 4 was all teary-eyed thanking everyone in the world for his amazing 14 year journey.  I feel for him as we actually have one thing in common; neither of us can act a lick.  But if I had made millions while being the weakest link on a show that should have been cancelled ten years ago I would be thankful as well.

There is one show where his lack of talent and over-inflated ego would fit in nicely and he might actually prove to be an asset.  Let’s see if his agent is savvy enough to get him booked as a regular on The Kardashians.

“Margarine was first invented in France in 1869 by French chemist Hippolyte Mège-Mouriès. Napoleon III, the leader of France at the time, was having trouble feeding his troops. He wanted a stable alternative to butter that would be useful both on campaigns and during periods of butter shortage. Mouriès was the winner of that competition. He never made much money from his invention, but it did inspire others to start producing similar inedible slime.”

So next time a terrible restaurant serves yellow paste in place of real butter (Shari’s Café) be sure to say: Merci!  Or better yet, Merde!

Why does every nitwit that gets their News from the Fox Entertainment Network or some whack-job conspiracy theory website answer a question asking for even a shred of proof of the codswallop they are spewing simply answers “Do your research?”  If any one of them did a drop of research they would discover no proof and return to their cousins and spouses (usually the same person) and be forced to face the harsh reality that they are blindly following a lunatic.

Of course, that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.  But I’m not.

     In 1909 Sonora Smart Dodd got the idea for Father’s Day during a sermon on Mother’s day.  The first Father’s Day took place in 1910 although it did not become an official holiday until 1972.  And speaking for most Father’s we appreciate the calls from our adult children on that day. 
     But listen up; you call Mom 364 days a year.  Be kind to the old man and give him a call every three or four months.

     This day, June 15th, provides an opportunity to raise awareness of the abuse, neglect, and fraud schemes committed against older Americans.
     Elder abuse comes in many forms.  You took away our flip-phones and made us carry smart phones.  After 65 we have to go to the DMV for an eye test and can no longer renew our driver’s licenses by mail and the few pennies we save on Denny’s Early Bird Specials is eaten up in the rising cost of Metamucil! 
     And regarding nursing homes or managed care facilities, I refer you to a quote the 1970 documentary, considered today to be the seminal work on preventing elder abuse; the 1970 film directed by Carl Reiner “Where’s Poppa?”  

        “You can lock her in her room, seal her in a tomb,
         but never put your mother in a home!”