Archives for 2024

     That phrase was one of the most popular pacifist’s phrases of the 60’s and 70’s during the Vietnam War.  It could be seen on posters and bumper stickers everywhere.
          “Suppose they gave a war and nobody came? “
     I still don’t see what the two things have to do with each other but it certainly meant something to the protestors of the day.

See the timeline of the year’s most sensational news story, all uncovered by People.com!

• May 30th:    Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez attend a party for his daughter’s high school graduation.
• June 12th:    Ben & Jen spotted sitting separately at his 12 year old son Samuel’s graduation.
• June 20th:  J-Lo is spotted on vacation in Italy without Ben.
• June 27th:  Jen & Ben are spotted together in Los Angeles after she returned from Italy.

Why are they torturing me?  WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON????

According to RealSimple.com the only way is to keep them refrigerated.  But in life, as in egg storage, people don’t always choose what is right but rather choose the way that is most expedient or benefits themselves in some way.  Where are your eggs right now; chilling in the temperature controlled section of your refrigerator or sweating uncomfortably on your kitchen counter?  What other crimes against food storage are you committing?  Butter on the table, refrigerating your washed blueberries before they’re completely dry, storing your bread in plastic which may seem correct but actually encourages rapid mold growth?

This is the one topic on which Joe Biden and Donald Trump agree; our country needs stronger food storage laws and better enforcement of existing regulations.          
I don’t make this stuff up!

In linguistics a portmanteau word is a word that combines the form and meaning of two or more other words; a blend. 
Common examples include the following:

• Motel:  Motor Lodge + Hotel
• Brunch:  Breakfast + Lunch
• Frenemy:  Friend + Enemy  (That backstabbing asshole boss at work you have to pretend to like)
• Bromance:  Brother (male) + Romance (Non-sexual although one may feel a slight twinge in one’s loins)
• Cosplay:  Costume + Play (When your partner dresses up like Little Red Riding Hood and you as the Big Bad Wolf and give her a big surprise…or so I’m told?) 

When you hear the word Titicaca you think of the largest lake in South America nestled in The Andes straddling Peru and Bolivia.  When I hear Titicaca I think it’s the greatest Portmanteau Word ever!

According to The Harvard Medical Journal, some people find certain sugar-like molecules found in many foods — including milk, some fruits and vegetables, wheat, rye, high fructose corn syrup, and artificial sweeteners — can be difficult to digest.  These molecules are called FODMAPs — short for fermentable oligosaccharides, disaccharides, monosaccharides, and polyols. When gut bacteria feed on FODMAPs, gas and bloating can occur.

Should you stop eating them?  Let your body make the decision.  If, after you eat a meal laden with FODMAPS, you fart like a motorboat with a faulty spark plug going 60 knots (69.0468 MPH) on a choppy lake, I’d cut down on them next time you eat.

Only 3.  Before I retired I appeared in dozens of searches each week.  In the last 6 years of retirement my appearances have steadily declined until last week’s pathetic result.  I never used LinkedIn, never applied for a job on it and think it’s just a Facebook for untalented worker’s looking to kiss up to bosses or pretend they’re relevant.  I don’t need, want or have any chance of accepting a job offer of any kind.  My self-worth is not based on how many searches I appear in on the stupidest website ever!  I could not care less about my LinkedIn results.

…Still, only 3?   Hmmmmmmmmm.

By definition, a solstice occurs at the point in Earth’s orbit when the planet reaches its peak tilt toward the sun. During the summer solstice, the sun appears at the highest point in the sky and receives the most solar rays, giving us the longest day of the year.

If you were unaware and want to recreate the longest day of the year simply sit in front of your television and watch a 12 hour marathon of “Keeping up with the Kardashians” reruns.  It will seem like a month of Sundays.

     I think yes!
     At a recent political rally in Las Vegas, Donald Trump delivered a rambling nonsensical rant where he said if he were on a sinking boat with a powerful battery and saw a shark “10 yards over there” he would opt to be electrocuted rather than face a shark attack.  I believe we should take him at his word and do our best to accommodate him.
     Trump is scheduled to be sentenced for his felony convictions on July 11th.  While both are good options, I hope the judge is compassionate in his sentencing,  hears his request, and takes feeding him to the sharks off the table!

On the final day of shooting, the man who single-handedly ruined the show for me in about year 4 was all teary-eyed thanking everyone in the world for his amazing 14 year journey.  I feel for him as we actually have one thing in common; neither of us can act a lick.  But if I had made millions while being the weakest link on a show that should have been cancelled ten years ago I would be thankful as well.

There is one show where his lack of talent and over-inflated ego would fit in nicely and he might actually prove to be an asset.  Let’s see if his agent is savvy enough to get him booked as a regular on The Kardashians.

“Margarine was first invented in France in 1869 by French chemist Hippolyte Mège-Mouriès. Napoleon III, the leader of France at the time, was having trouble feeding his troops. He wanted a stable alternative to butter that would be useful both on campaigns and during periods of butter shortage. Mouriès was the winner of that competition. He never made much money from his invention, but it did inspire others to start producing similar inedible slime.”

So next time a terrible restaurant serves yellow paste in place of real butter (Shari’s Café) be sure to say: Merci!  Or better yet, Merde!