Archives for September 2024

Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pain, losses and disappointments.”  Joseph Addison, (1672-17190) English essayist and poet.

So please accept this moment of clarity as a blessing and not the ranting of a leftist empathic who believes all people on earth are created equal and deserve the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Do not support a candidate for president that is a proven liar, cheat, and awful business man with several bankruptcies causing untold misery to thousands of people.  A sociopathic narcissist who has vowed to prosecute his opponents and free from prison all who participated in his insurrection. Someone who spouts nothing but fear and doom and hatred for all who do not lockstep behind his insanity.  A deranged, sad soul who purports to be the savior sent from heaven to save the world when he is, in fact, the personification of pure evil.  A candidate with a vice-presidential running mate who likened him to Hitler until it became politically expedient to hold his breath and stick his head up the candidate’s ass.

That pretty well sums it up.  Consider yourself blessed!  Questions?

You lose both water and sodium when you sweat, and both need to be replaced to avoid headaches, muscle cramps, conservatism and a myriad of other painful ailments.  And proper hydration is said to be wonderful for the skin.  It’s not all about ball bearings as Irwin M. Fletcher would have you believe.  It’s more about electrolytes, magnesium, potassium and sodium.

I drank from a garden hose, never knowingly consumed an electrolyte, filled my glass with tap water and made it to 73.  But on the downside I must confess my skin does not “Glow.”  If only I had this information sooner!

     “Aging is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person that you always should have been.” David Bowie|
      Not always.  In my case, I’m the same crusty but benign curmudgeon I have always been only with more aching joints, less hair and no filters!
     I remain an indefinable conundrum (aka: Jerk).

The ad sent to me states that “Hers weight loss program combines the power of GLP-1 injections with personalized support, with programs starting at only $199.00 per month when paid up front for one year, $2,388.00.  And that’s for the cheapest limited program.

I am going to save you $2,388.00, give you not the basic but rather the Super Deluxe Program and you will have the exact same chance of success without the painful injections.

Dr. Freddie’s Guaranteed Weight Loss Journey:  “Eat less, exercise more, walk everyday and use the stairs!”

Why am I NOT a millionaire?

I sometimes joke about useless drivel that turns up in my email but this is HUGE!  It enticed me to find more copy-cat recipes.  I found 6 of them and prepared a feast for my family.  It was amazing.  It took all day and cost a fortune but was worth every penny.   You might find this hard to believe but I made it all and never set foot in one of the restaurants.
Check out the exquisite, one-of-a-kind, all copy-cat menu:

• Steamed rice from Panda Express.
• Cheeseburgers from McDonalds.
• Fries from In-N-Out Burger.
• Cheese Pizza from Costco.
• Cinnamon Crispas from Taco Bell.
• Breadsticks from Olive Garden.

Do they give Michelin Stars to home chefs?

Greetings Amerikanskis:

    It is I, Vladimir Putinski, Vladimir Putin’s stunt double.  I hacked this site because I heard betterfredthandead has millions of readers, all open-minded yet willing to let us pick your Presidentski.  Vote for Comrade Trump.  Only he can:

• Bring peace and prosperity.
• Control every other country.
• Give affordable healthcare and education opportunities to everyone.
• Not give Russia USA military secrets.

If you’re a big enough Dumbasski to believe the first three, the fourth should be no problem.
Spasibo! Mother Russia thanks you.

(This Chatgpt translator is awesome!)

In a previous post I explained how the process of cleaning out all the useless clutter from our homes and storage not only saves loved ones from the painful task of going through your junk, but also has an immediate benefit for those of us giving away our stuff.  It is amazingly liberating and allows one room to breathe and plan new projects and goals.  

     I did face a conundrum: what to do with my 2005 Manager of the Year Award from Coastal Training and my 2014 Six Sigma Greenbelt Certification from DuPont.  The manager award was for my first full year of leading the office I Opened in Manila.  The best part of this award was most of the managers opposed the opening so only 2 people said congrats.  I enjoyed my “pariah” status for the first year.
      I earned the Green Belt with my project “Method of Determining the Best Distributors in Sub-Saharan Africa.”  Riveting stuff!  But I did invest a great deal of time and effort on both so “parting is such sweet sorrow…”  Am I really so insecure that I need to display cheesy reminders of some minor achievements in my past life as a worker bee?  Probably.

Final decision: These are meaningless symbols and have no current value.  Even our usual repository for discarded items, the Vietnam Veterans Thrift Store, would have no interest in them.  The time has come to toss the awards in the trash.

(Deep Breath)…I feel lighter already!

If you said Three-toed Sloth you would be correct.  Found mostly in Eastern Asia, the three-toed sloth gained recognition when he was featured in the Pixar film “Zootopia.” Flash, as he was ironically named worked at the DMV before they had appointments.

And for you Jerks that thought it was funny to guess the slowest animal as Donald Trump, the laugh is on you.  He came in fourth after the Garden Snail and Giant Tortoise, and one before Joe Biden!

I took one semester of clarinet lessons on a rented instrument in 6th grade, about 1961.  That was when schools could afford to teach electives to actually try and turn out well-rounded individuals.  30 years later, when I could afford it, I bought a clarinet and hoped to take lessons.  It never happened.  So last week I dusted it off and signed up for a trial lesson at the local music school.  My teacher was a twenty-something young lady, very nice and encouraging.

But she was too nice and apparently I intimidated her as she did not seem to want to correct me.  I had trouble getting the mouthpiece attached and her answer was “It’s ok.  You can play it lie that and it will just sound a little flat.”  I said can’t you show me what I did wrong and she agreed and with a little wax it slid right on.  I was able to blow through a note so she showed me the proper fingering for an E. She then said “Do you want to try the next note?”  Yes, of course.  want to eventually try all the notes!  This continued for the entire lesson.  She was incapable of telling me to do something without asking permission.

So my search for a clarinet teacher goes on.  I don’t need a kind soul gently easing me through the lesson.  I need a frustrated Nun from a parochial school armed with a bad attitude and a hard wooden ruler that she has no problem using.

I need discipline.  The habit and the ruler are just an added bonus!

But the one I saw demonstrated the leadership and grace of Ms. Harris, our next President.

K-A-M-A-L-A!