Archives for August 2024

This bit of wisdom from Katie Couric Media.  The five things:

1. Negative labels and bad names.
2. Assumptions.
3. Defensive statements.
4. “I’m fine” if you’re not.
5. If too upset say nothing.

I don’t consider that help, it’s way too general.  Here are a few specifics you might be wise to avoid:

1. “Stifle yourself Edith!”
2. “Who asked you?”
3. “Think before you speak, then don’t!”
4. “Idiot says what?”
5. “For the love of the almighty, STFU!

It’s just common sense really.  I am here to help.

Aristotle: “Happiness depends upon ourselves.”
Dalai Lama: “Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions.”

Two great minds but only one idea.  Coincidence?  You might think that Aristotle said it first because he was born first and there is only a slim chance they ever met, although reading these quotes would lead you to believe they both spoke perfect English.  Common sense would have you believe Aristotle came first and so had the original thought.  

But imagine if you will, that time is not linear and the space time continuum allowed for them to meet, share ideas and perhaps a glass of Ouzo.  Then the thought might well have come first from Mr. Lama and Aristotle’s work is wholly derivative; a simple restating of the obvious.  Think about it a moment…

Mind Blown!!

Needtoknowfacts.com reports the following: if you live in the state of Alabama, you are never allowed to dress up like a priest, no matter what. Even on Halloween, you may be arrested or fined if you choose to dress up as any type of religious leader – be that a priest, rabbi, pastor, or anything else connected to a religion. While you can technically get arrested or fined, it is rarely enforced and many people decide to ignore the law.  

I would think the people that choose to ignore the law are the priests, rabbis and pastors.  Why am I the only one who can figure these out?  It’s a gift, I guess.

The Better Report, a daily email advertisement disguised as a helpful newsletter included the above titled advice this week regarding when not to take a shower.  Many of us have adopted the French standard for bathing, that is, to shower at least twice a month, perhaps a little less in the cold winter season. But the report lists 6 times it may be harmful to shower:

1. When your skin is irritated.
2. After waxing.
3. During a thunderstorm.
4. After a cosmetic appointment.
5. After a meal.
6. Immediately after a workout.

The article missed a few other times when showering can be detrimental to your health:

     7.  When your neighbor’s husband unexpectedly comes home early.
     8.  When your home’s water and sewer pipes get crossed.
     9.  After mistakenly spilling nuclear waste down the shower drain.
    10.  During Animal Control’s search of your home for a missing Water Moccasin.

It’s always better to err on the side of caution over cleanliness.  Perhaps that’s why the author of the article is still single?              

I have much in common with Kwai-Chang Caine.  We both are humble servants roaming the earth, preaching peace and seeking justice for all.  While K-C uses his skill at Kung Fu to spread peace by kicking the crap out of the bad guys, I take a more cerebral approach.  Put succinctly, I’m a lover not a fighter.  I spread life-affirming, helpful information and like my spiritual doppelganger, expect no monetary compensation for my unselfish gifts to the world.  Please honored friends, I only ask that you “Pay it forward!”

Today I ask that you forget everything you think you know about eggs and remember this one life-saving tip:  Do not wash your eggs before cracking them.  We all know you don’t wash chickens because cooking them will kill the bacteria but washing them serves to spread bacteria around your kitchen.  Eggs have their own protective coating naturally applied as hens lay them.  The U.S. Department of Agriculture regulations require all commercially sold eggs to be washed and sanitized to prevent salmonella contamination.  If you wash them you dissolve the coating and expose them to bacteria.

Take your new found wisdom and walk among your brethren spreading the word.

     Watch Me is the name of a new concept, a sports bar for women.  I haven’t looked into all the details but it seems like a great idea to me.  At last, a place where women can gather safely to watch Mah Jongg and Canasta, trade recipes and share ideas on how to make their men happy while enjoying a refreshing Cosmopolitan, Margarita or Sex on the Beach.  Watered drinks with tiny umbrellas will flow freely.
     Everything is set up for women; Happy Hour will be from 2:00PM to 4:00PM so they can be back in time to have dinner on the table for their husbands; there will be a “wash your own glass” station and free “Watch Me” aprons you can take home.

It’s probably not like that at all but the romantic in me hopes it makes women happy; an Olympic style event with a difficulty factor of 3.7!

(This article re-imagined from the 1950 edition of The Daily Inflammation)

In the Harvard Medical School publication that has the motto “Trusted Advice for a Healthier Life” has a booklet that offers help to we nut jobs that have gone mental, (no politically correct euphemisms here, just try to cancel me and I’ll show you stress).   In the journal publication “Anxiety and Stress Disorders” they divide stress into 4 categories: Positive – Tolerable – Unhealthy – Toxic.  They then drone on about each of them and make up some stuff about what to do.  You can spend the $29.00 to get the report or let me summarize it for you here. (Full Disclosure: I didn’t buy the book but was able to surmise a great deal from the ad).

Positive Stress:  Starting a new job or taking on new responsibilities, or figuring out how to keep the fact you won the lottery from your family so you don’t have to share.
Tolerable Stress:  A non-normative experience that present a greater magnitude of adversity; a death in the family, serious illness or accident, couples counseling because your spouse says you are “emotionally unavailable.”
Unhealthy Stress: Anything that makes you irritable, angry or impatient like the butt-munch in the car ahead of you not noticing the light has changed because he is on his cellphone.
Toxic Stress:  Changes in emotions and behavior: Anxiety, guilt, denial, grief, fear, irritability or Intense anger, emotional outbursts, depression, withdrawal, panic, feeling hopeless or overwhelmed. Basically what most of us refer to as Monday.

For those of us without the financial means to simply withdraw from society let me again offer my standard one size fits all advice: “Suck it up!” 

Ted Lasso said this about meeting people’s mothers, “It’s like reading an instruction manual as to why they’re nuts!”

This leads into a discussion of Nature vs. Nurture; “Nature” means innate biological factors (namely genetics), while “nurture” can refer to upbringing or life experience.  Either way Mom has a big role, supplying genes (along with Dad) and possibly being the greatest influence on her child’s development.

Perhaps it’s a combination of both?  Two children are born into great wealth and develop opposite character traits.  One child born of wealthy parents grows up with a love for humanity, empathy for the struggles and joys of everyone regardless of race, religion or gender, dedicated to seeing that there is opportunities for everyone to succeed and is always willing to lend a hand and be charitable, and the other child becomes Donald Trump.  The mysteries of life.

Quoting Ted again, “That’s a big spoonful of Truth Soup!”

We all know if you buy anything at a discount store like Family Dollar, Dollar Tree or Sav-A-Lot you are getting a small size or just pure crap.  I have found only 3 reasons to walk into one of those junk emporiums: helium party balloons, gift bags or greeting cards because why pay $5.00 for a Hallmark card that is going to be torn open, have the money removed and be deposited unread into the recycle bin.

The FDA has now identified 7 brands of cinnamon powder that is contaminated with toxic levels of lead, all sold through discount outlets.  So now you not only have to worry about if your jewelry contains blood diamonds, or if your apple watch was made by an indentured child in a sweat shop, but also where the ingredients for that snickerdoodle you swiped from the lunchroom were purchased.

I can give up diamonds and Apple watches, but snickerdoodles?  Some things are worth the risk!

“How Dry I Am” is a song written by Irving Berlin in 1919, Originally titled “The Near Future” lamenting the impending enactment of the 18th Amendment to the constitution (Yes, there were others beside the 2nd Amendment that the gun nuts shout about daily) ushering in Prohibition which lasted from January 17, 1920 – December 5, 1933.  But the country was hardly dry.  Between Al Capone, Don Corleone and Hyman Roth there was plenty of illegal booze to go around.

For me “How Dry I Am” refers to my lack of ideas for this inane Daily Inflammation thing.  I am trying to stay out of the political argument because none of it makes any sense and I am unable to wrap my mind around how anyone can support a low-life scum like #45 in his bid to be re-elected.

Did I just slip and get political?  Shame on ME as well as anyone who supports him.  

I’ll try to do better tomorrow!