Archives for July 2024

The on-line store Jungle Outlet is offering Jimmy Choo Sansa Gold and Brown Sunglasses, normally $466.00 for $69.99, an amazing 85% off! I know Jimmy Choo shoes inexplicably sell for hundreds or even thousands of dollars which makes him the Kim Kardashian of the fashion world.  I wondered if, like the Kardashians, his talent for selling mediocre products at inflated prices extended to others in his family.  So I did my research and discovered and found quite the opposite.  The Choo Family siblings, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins are all high achievers. A few examples:

• Ah Choo:  An MD doing groundbreaking research into the common cold.
• Chew Choo:  Head Conductor of China’s largest railroad.
• R. Choo – D. Choo:  Twin Brothers making strides in Robotics.
• Seat Choo:  Business Agent for the Broadway Usher’s Union IATSE Local 306.
• Charleston Choo:  Lead Product Developer for a South Carolina Candy Company.
• Head Hon Choo:  Cultural Liaison between China and Japan’s Largest Island.
• I Fine Choo:  Chief of Shanghai Missing Persons Bureau.
• Bi Choo:  Dentist to the Stars.
• Bay Choo:  Captains a Fishing Boat
• Mate Choo:  Hong Kong’s top marriage broker.
• Peeka Choo:  Video Game Developer
• Chee Choo:  Professional Scam-Artist. (The one Black Sheep Choo)

There is no mystery regarding the rise of Asia.  Choo on that!

While kite flying Benjamin Franklin is credited with discovering electricity, there are two major schools of thought as to who is the Father of Modern Electricity.  Supporters of Nikola Tesla and  those of Thomas Edison square off for their man as vehemently as the rabid fans of Real Madrid face those of FC Barcelona!  But before Tesla presented alternating current electricity at the World Columbian Exposition in Chicago in 1893, and before Edison patented the incandescent bulb technology, there lived the electrical genius known only as Bernie!

In 1869, long before Tesla and Edison were ready, Bernie was planning a dramatic demonstration of alternating current that would surely revolutionize the commercial use of electricity.  Bernie knew he needed something unique to draw wide-spread attention and reasoned a practical display to help the human condition would work best.  To that end he developed a machine that would make toast for the morning meal in a matter of seconds.  He called it simply a “Toaster,” an appliance that would revolutionize breakfast. 

Unfortunately Bernie, a prolific multi-tasker, and was putting the finishing touches on his electric toaster while taking a bath.  Mid-toast the unit slipped off the side of the tub into his bath putting an end to Bernie and delaying for many years the invention of the electric toaster.  But although his name is forgotten, his legacy goes on.   The murder by toaster in a bathtub scenario has been repeated a thousand times in cheesy television police dramas.  

Bernie was and always will be the first!

There are over one billion people that rely on Mandarin Chinese as their primary language.  In terms of native speakers Spanish comes in second and English third.  I myself use my limited Mandarin skills on a weekly basis.  Just Yesterday I relied on my Mandarin to get my feelings known to a Chinese server:

Me:  “Char Siu Bao, Mapo Tofu, Ha Gao, Moo Goo Gai Pan, Kung Pao, Flied Lice, Sui Mai, General Tso’s chicken.”
Waiter: “Oi vey.”

Like most languages foreign words are often incorporated to enhance communication.
This teachable moment brought to you by the Dim Sum School of Languages.

The political pundits at Just-plain-common-sense-dotcom published their  latest findings.  Results as follows:

In a poll of probable voters who are not racists, conspiracy theorists, or drooling idiots find that Joe Biden or any breathing human will beat Donald Trump in the popular vote about 140,000,000 to 4…make that three.  Ivanka, Eric and Don Jr. were loyal but Melania came to her senses.

The Better Report website published an article under this title listing the following detrimental habits:

1. Too much alcohol.
2. Not going out.
3. Too much junk food.
4. Not working out regularly.
5. Not changing up your exercise routine.
6. Not prioritizing sleep.

They left off  six other contributors to brain decay:

1. Sniffing your fingers.
2. Putting In-N-Out French Fries on a Top 10 List.
3. Binge-watching The Kardashians.
4. Believing anything said by an Orange Sociopath.
5. Choosing to live in Florida.
6. Offending Kardashian fans, MAGA idiots & Floridians in one single post.

This Healthy Minute brought to you as a Public Service by BFTD, Friend to the Working Public!

I want you to just sit there and think about what you did. 

Are you proud of yourself?  YES / NO
Do you think it was the right thing to do?  YES / NO
Did it help to make the world a better place?  YES / NO

Then off you go!  Think about what you can do differently next time!

In The Star Wars Saga Tatooine was a sparsely inhabited desert planet located in the galaxy’s Outer Rim Territories.  It was also the home planet of Anakin and Luke Skywalker.  Tatooine scenes were actually filmed in the North African country of Tunisia.  It got me wondering what U.S. locations could convincingly be used for new Star Wars Saga films.  Here are a few suggestions:

• Clone Messiah:  A felonious Maralago-ian sociopath escapes imprisonment and takes refuge in an alien fortress with the growing group of previous haters he has frightened into bowing to his will and following him to their eventual and inevitable oblivion. Location: Palm Beach, Florida.
• Stranger Droids:  Comic adventure focuses on the journey of two brain damaged droids, Bobo Hanjob and MarJo TrayTor getting into naughty mischief. Suggested location:  Georgia’s intelligence-free 14th District
• Revenge of the Sithies:  Sithie Boy Drone Matt P-E-D-O aka Lord Shitforbrains is captured and sent to the maximum security penal colony on the planet of Obliviana.  Suggested Locations:  Everglades Correctional Institution situated deep, deep, deep in the Everglades.
• Star Wars:  The Rise of SCOTUS:  An evil cabal of nine powerful beings that control the galaxy’s legal system, have six of its maniacs go rogue and sell out for personal gain.  Suggested Location: One First Street, NE, Washington D.C.

Enough already, right?  I think not.

The Human Freedom Index published the following list of the nine freest countries in the world:

    1. Switzerland
    2. New Zealand
    3. Estonia
    4. Denmark
    5. Ireland
    6. Sweden
    7. Iceland
    8. Finland
    9. The Netherlands

These countries made the list for reasons including upholding human rights, enforcing anti-discrimination laws insuring personal freedom and equality.  Affordable healthcare educational opportunities, cultural inclusivity and respect for autonomy of the individual.
We might have made the list in the past but with the Supreme Court selling away our freedoms as fast as they can say “Free Luxury Vacations” you have to go a lot deeper down the list to find us.  

Facebook keeps you connected to a lot of people and allows you to meet new ones.  In a recent study, it was found that nearly one-third of all divorces stemmed from Facebook. In 2018, 20 percent of all people in the UK who filed for divorce claimed that Facebook was at least partially responsible.  That number jumped all the way to 33 percent in 2020. The main reasons cited were jealousy and a lack of communication due to their time on-line with Facebook.

Other top reasons cited were:

• Should have never married the asshole in the first place.
• Inability for a man to keep his zipper closed.
• Women’s unreasonable expectation of sexual satisfaction.
• The expected inheritance never materialized.
• Drugs, gambling, alcohol.

But mostly Facebook. 

But as a candidate for President, Donald, please be someone else; you know, someone that has empathy, cares about the welfare of every citizen in the country, not just the ones with their head up your ass.