Archives for June 2024

According to sleepfoumdation.org…Maybe.  The possible benefits depend on time and temperature. After a warm shower or bath, your body starts to cool down, which triggers your circadian rhythms and signals to your body that it’s time to sleep.  So, while a warm shower can help you feel tired and ready for bed, timing it right is key to maximizing its benefits.

Everything is so complicated these days.  We baby boomers didn’t waste time ruminating on something this simple.  There was a clear answer:

• You got lucky at the bar or your wife is feeling frisky: YES
• You struck out or your wife has a headache: Don’t bother.

I know what you’re thinking, pheromones.  But I’ll take my chances with a Dove Body Bar over sweat any day.

This article came to me in an email from Humanity Steam so I assumed as I’m sure you did, that Joyful Abundance was the stage name for an adult film star and unlocking her was only after a steamy encounter with handcuffs.  

Turns out it’s some drivel about finding happiness within yourself.  I guess it might work if you don’t ever watch the news or check your email.  I’d rather watch a film where Joyful Abundance orders a pizza and then, when the handsome delivery guy shows up, realizes she has no money and has to come up with an alternative way to pay.

I’m such a cliché! 

“Oy Vey!”
Still, I got to go with the Octogenarian.

     That phrase was one of the most popular pacifist’s phrases of the 60’s and 70’s during the Vietnam War.  It could be seen on posters and bumper stickers everywhere.
          “Suppose they gave a war and nobody came? “
     I still don’t see what the two things have to do with each other but it certainly meant something to the protestors of the day.

See the timeline of the year’s most sensational news story, all uncovered by People.com!

• May 30th:    Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez attend a party for his daughter’s high school graduation.
• June 12th:    Ben & Jen spotted sitting separately at his 12 year old son Samuel’s graduation.
• June 20th:  J-Lo is spotted on vacation in Italy without Ben.
• June 27th:  Jen & Ben are spotted together in Los Angeles after she returned from Italy.

Why are they torturing me?  WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON????

According to RealSimple.com the only way is to keep them refrigerated.  But in life, as in egg storage, people don’t always choose what is right but rather choose the way that is most expedient or benefits themselves in some way.  Where are your eggs right now; chilling in the temperature controlled section of your refrigerator or sweating uncomfortably on your kitchen counter?  What other crimes against food storage are you committing?  Butter on the table, refrigerating your washed blueberries before they’re completely dry, storing your bread in plastic which may seem correct but actually encourages rapid mold growth?

This is the one topic on which Joe Biden and Donald Trump agree; our country needs stronger food storage laws and better enforcement of existing regulations.          
I don’t make this stuff up!

In linguistics a portmanteau word is a word that combines the form and meaning of two or more other words; a blend. 
Common examples include the following:

• Motel:  Motor Lodge + Hotel
• Brunch:  Breakfast + Lunch
• Frenemy:  Friend + Enemy  (That backstabbing asshole boss at work you have to pretend to like)
• Bromance:  Brother (male) + Romance (Non-sexual although one may feel a slight twinge in one’s loins)
• Cosplay:  Costume + Play (When your partner dresses up like Little Red Riding Hood and you as the Big Bad Wolf and give her a big surprise…or so I’m told?) 

When you hear the word Titicaca you think of the largest lake in South America nestled in The Andes straddling Peru and Bolivia.  When I hear Titicaca I think it’s the greatest Portmanteau Word ever!

According to The Harvard Medical Journal, some people find certain sugar-like molecules found in many foods — including milk, some fruits and vegetables, wheat, rye, high fructose corn syrup, and artificial sweeteners — can be difficult to digest.  These molecules are called FODMAPs — short for fermentable oligosaccharides, disaccharides, monosaccharides, and polyols. When gut bacteria feed on FODMAPs, gas and bloating can occur.

Should you stop eating them?  Let your body make the decision.  If, after you eat a meal laden with FODMAPS, you fart like a motorboat with a faulty spark plug going 60 knots (69.0468 MPH) on a choppy lake, I’d cut down on them next time you eat.

Only 3.  Before I retired I appeared in dozens of searches each week.  In the last 6 years of retirement my appearances have steadily declined until last week’s pathetic result.  I never used LinkedIn, never applied for a job on it and think it’s just a Facebook for untalented worker’s looking to kiss up to bosses or pretend they’re relevant.  I don’t need, want or have any chance of accepting a job offer of any kind.  My self-worth is not based on how many searches I appear in on the stupidest website ever!  I could not care less about my LinkedIn results.

…Still, only 3?   Hmmmmmmmmm.

By definition, a solstice occurs at the point in Earth’s orbit when the planet reaches its peak tilt toward the sun. During the summer solstice, the sun appears at the highest point in the sky and receives the most solar rays, giving us the longest day of the year.

If you were unaware and want to recreate the longest day of the year simply sit in front of your television and watch a 12 hour marathon of “Keeping up with the Kardashians” reruns.  It will seem like a month of Sundays.