Archives for February 2024

It’s not a Pit Viper, Cobra, Water Moccasin or a One-Eyed Trouser Snake.

It is the Dracaena Trifasciata, more commonly known as the Snake plant.  It is low-maintenance, easy to propagate, and does best in indirect light. An evergreen perennial, it can bloom about once a year, producing pretty cream-colored flowers that sometimes develop into small orange fruits.  But the real benefit is that the snake plant was found to filter out all three of the chemicals tested for in NASA’s Clean Air Study. Per the Healthline website it also has a history of being used in the practice of feng shui.  Botanist Halina Shamshur reports “The Chinese love the snake plant for its ability to absorb negative energy,” 

If you are put off by the name “Snake Plant” you may refer to it by its other common moniker: Mother-in-Law’s Tongue.  But that doesn’t describe any mother-in-law I know…Cross my fingers…I mean heart!

 

 

 

“The idea for the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation was first sparked during the 1990s in the San Francisco Bay area.  According to the foundations website, in response to the trend of dishearteningly negative news coverage during a “summer of violence,” a reporter proposed “practicing random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty” instead. From this suggestion, a movement was born, and the nonprofit bearing the same name was not far behind. From these humble beginnings, National Random Acts of Kindness Day (February 17) emerged, drawing attention to how easily we can lift others up with the simplest of gestures.”

Try one-a-day, not one a year.  Here are a few suggestions from Nice News and one from a random source:

• Bake a treat for a neighbor or friend.
• Offer to bring in your neighbor’s trash bin.
• Start a friendly chat with a stranger, (My Lawyer suggests I qualify this and suggest doing in a well-lit public place with an age appropriate subject).
• Give away some of your stuff for free.
• Back a presidential candidate that does not spread lies and spews hate to all who do not kiss his ass.

You’ll feel better; guaranteed!

The one stress I will not have this year is the fast approaching date of April 15th, the deadline to file your 2023 income tax form.  I am DONE!

I had to wait for Charles Schwab to get off their incompetent assess and get me my composite 1099.  I always believed every company is required to have the forms prepared by January 31st.  But Charlie says he is the exception.  Because they are so large and apparently wonderful they have no such deadline and will have the form on February 15th.  Then they get it to their clients a few days early and proceed to blow themselves for the “extra” effort, when, in fact, they are late!

But, as you know, I am a kind soul that is slow to anger and quick to forgive.  So I will give them the benefit of no doubt and put this unfortunate incident behind me; at least until the wretched poltroons try to pull it again next year!  But it is nice to have a different aging businessman like Chuck Schwab to be the recipient of my scathing wrath.  I am weary of lamenting the rise of  an empty-headed narcissistic, sociopathic traitor with the worst comb-over in history.  I won’t name him but see if you can crack that code.  

LIAR!  I bought her nothing! And that’s why we have been happily married for almost 50 years.

As I have probably mentioned (who can remember) Linda passionately dislikes holidays that have been taken over by retailers who foster a false narrative that convinces people they must spend an exorbitant amount of money to profess their love to their partner.  We buy each other gifts, probably 20 to 30 times a year, but they are given when we see something the other person would like but may not buy for themselves.  It is never given on a holiday where the norms are dictated by the marketing department of a manufacturer or retail chain. (**Notable Exceptions: Birthdays and Weddings where there is cake involved).

But if you enjoy it and need an excuse to buy someone a gift then enjoy!  And remember any day is a good day to buy someone a box of See’s Candy, specifically dark chocolate nut clusters, the finest candy on this or any other planet.  Also cash; cash is always appreciated.  I’m not without a heart!

“…The last of life for which the first was made.”

Robert Browning’s poem Rabbi ben Ezra, published 1864, is him telling us we are part of a greater whole, aging is a natural step and that fear leads to a wasted life.  This poem consists of 192 lines and divided into 32 stanzas, each stanza consists of six lines.  Browning is talking about Abraham Ibn Ezra. He was a philosopher, theologian, scientist, and also a linguist and a Spanish Rabbi.

If you haven’t figured it out yet it is late in the evening and I had yet to write today’s rant.  I had a lousy day with 2 doctor appointments so I just grabbed a book off the shelf, opened the page and decided to write about the first thing I read. This is the result.  Perhaps it will inspire you to read poetry or perhaps to never again read my ramblings.  Whatever!

I’ll end with a favorite quote from another great literary work, Monty Python’s The Meaning Of Life: “I blow my nose at you…Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!”

“…I’m paintin’ the TOWN!”  Sgt. McVey (Mike Kellin) lecturing Private Alvin Korwin (Jerry Lewis) on dusting the tops of door jambs.  Time out while I indulge in a nostalgic trip down Memory Lane.

In 1960 my family moved from Chicago to Los Angeles, arriving on my brother’s birthday, February 5th.  At that time the local television station, channel 9, had a show called “Million Dollar Movie.” It literally ran the same film every night of the week and twice on Sunday.  That might be where the “Twice on Sunday” phrase originated?  One of the movies that made multiple appearances throughout the year was my favorite Martin & Lewis comedy “At War With the Army.”  I waited each week to see what the movie would be and if it was my favorite and not some stupid war film or drama, I would not miss a chance to watch it again and again.  So 63  years later I can still quote chapter and verse of this movie. (Although it might help that I own the DVD).

I know you find it difficult to imagine someone as erudite and worldly as Moi mesmerized by a silly Martin & Lewis farce.  But there is a much deeper sub-text in the film that deals deftly with some of life’s most difficult questions.  For example, you need look no further than  Sgt. Vic Puccinelli’s (Dean Martin) touching song that answers the age-old question: “Wouldn’t you rather say I love you than Tonda Wanda hoy Conika la?”

Put me in the yes column (sniff, sniff).   Excuse me for a moment.  I can’t help but get emotional at a time like this.

I get all my sports news from the definitive publication on professional athletics, People On-Line.  For those of you who rely on less authoritative sources for their news let me share the highlights of yesterday’s exciting Super Bowl, only the second in history to go into overtime.  Following are the highlights per People Mag:

• Travis Kelce Kisses Taylor on the Field after 2024 Super Bowl Win (Clarification: The kiss was on the mouth).
• Who was in Taylor Swift’s Box…All Her Friends at the Game?
• Every Photo of Taylor Swift at the 2024 Super Bowl.
• Super Bowl 2024 Recap: Chiefs Win Big, Taylor Swift’s Celebrations and All the Highlights (Highlights of Tay’s celebrations, I hope!).

One final note on Super Bowl 58.  For those of you that really thought I had insider information on the outcome of the coin toss and bet on tails, I’m sorry about that.  But then if you were dumb enough to believe that, you probably believe the last presidential election was stolen because another moron said so.  In that case I hope you lost big!

Does anyone know what Taylor and Travis are doing today?  I’ve lost track while striving to keep YOU informed.

There are bets on everything from the coin toss to the final outcome.  Here are the odds to the most talked about bet in Super Bowl 58.  The odds are short as with most “sure things.”  But there is still time to get your bet down:

2 to 10 on whether or not Travis Kelce will still be with Taylor Swift by the end of the game.  It seems like a lock but they have been together over six months in what I believe is a record-breaking relationship for TayTay.  It’s only a matter of time.

Also, I have a tip on the coin toss; it’s going to be Tails. Even odds and I heard this from a trusted voice…the one in my head that keeps telling me to continue to write this drivel.

No, I am not obsessed.  I simply get a lot of emails from the AARP and they realize we seniors have a lot of time to spare and need to stay active.

The AARP suggestions include:
-Getting enough sleep,
-No crash diets.
-Soak up some sun and vitamin D.
-Exercise all your muscles.
-Avoid late-night sweets.
-Stay hydrated.
-Make your bed daily to avoid stress from clutter.

They did miss on important tip that means more than the other 7 combined.  Make sure your partner is inflated to the proper lever.  Too little air, too soft.  Too much air, too hard.  The manufacturer’s suggested pressure…just right!