Archives for 2023

Who would have thought after only 246 years we could have accomplished all this:

• No affordable national healthcare.
• The widest economic gap with 10% of the people holding 76% of the wealth.
• A Supreme Court bought and paid for by billionaires.
• Two political parties that spend all their time calling the opposition names like schoolchildren.
• An accused felon ex-president whose main accomplishment was falsely undermining confidence in our election process.
• White supremacy and intolerance on the rise.  
• A crumbling infrastructure.

But on the plus side there are 630 varieties of pet foods available.  It’s good to have choices!

I would, however, be careful if that stranger bears an uncanny resemblance to Jeffery Dahmer.

Journey with me back to the 1950’s when the back of a comic book offered its readers a treasure trove of fantastic items; toy soldiers, sea monkeys, ant farms and the must have item for any adventurous boy, x-ray glasses.  The advertisement made no claims but asked the question “Are you really seeing through those clothes?”  The glasses produced a hazy shadow-like form and in no way satisfied a lad’s desire to see through clothing…for scientific purposes, of course.  We did not have the internet and life still held a few mysteries that today’s kids will never experience.  So the glasses ended up in a drawer with me lamenting the fact I wasted my $1.49 and could have had a box of soldiers or a secret decoder ring. 
Dang!

     Bummer!
     I just read an email from the AARP telling me it’s Brain Awareness Month. I was jazzed and then my excitement turned to crushing disappointment when I saw the email was dated June 2nd.  June was Brain Awareness Month and now it’s July 1st. I’d missed it.  You too, right?
     Let’s pretend we can turn back the clock 24 hours and have a quick little celebration sharing what we know and love about the brain. 
     I’ll go first.  The human brain is considered to be the most complex object in the Universe.  It is the control center of the human body and home to at least 86 billion neurons.  The brain weighs about 3 pounds, is 75% water, is not fully formed until you reach the age of 25 and has a virtually unlimited storage capacity. 
Yet, in spite of these wonders of the brain, The Kardashians remains one of the top rated shows on HULU.  So many wasted neurons!

OK, your turn! What d’ya got?

This famous quote by Eleanor Roosevelt urges us to build self-esteem and let no one diminish it.

It can become a challenge, however, when you are forced to shower in the men’s locker room at the gym.  At least that’s what I’ve heard.  I certainly have never experienced a problem with it. Really, just mentioning it for a friend.
Uh oh. “Methinks thou dost protest too much!”

     Astrophysicist research teams all over the world have revealed a major discovery that redefines the Universe as we know it.”  Scientists observed gravitational waves that “look like a choppy sea, churned by violent events that happened over the course of the past 13 billion-plus years.”

     Admittedly I am not a scientist but as best as I can figure out, the end result of this discovery points to me winning the Powerball Jackpot when it reaches an amount in excess of 500 Million Dollars.
     Insights into the inner workings of the Universe?  Some have said I possess a Beautiful Mind!

     If you answered like me and 72% of those surveyed you said John Fitzgerald Kennedy and you would have been wrong.  Kennedy was 43 but the youngest was Theodore Roosevelt at 42 years, 322 days.
     I was so sure it was J.F.K.  It started me wondering, what other things I am absolutely sure of that might be incorrect? |
Time for a Reality Check:

• Pistachio Nut is the best ice cream:  Check!
• The Honeymooners is the best TV show ever:  Check!
• The Wizard of Oz was the best movie ever made:  Check!
• Groundhog Day could really happen.  Check!
• Sweatpants are the best indicator of my current interest in fashion:  Check!
• Linda is an Angel sent from Heaven:  Check!
• Great wealth has has no correlation to human worth (see Kardashians):  Check!

Nope, as it turns out I am right about everything except that president age thing.
(I know, enough with the shots at the Kardashians. Jealousy is an ugly thing!)

Let’s make it “Pride Year.”  Or better yet, “Pride Always.”  What is stopping us from just letting everything go and accept everyone for who they are and concentrate on more important things like our national shame, (no not trump although that qualifies), but the shame that in the richest nation in the world we have children that go to bed hungry every night.  Perhaps the rapists, paid for toadies and fanatics that make up the SCOTUS majority might actually read the Constitution and use it as a basis to make their decisions.

And don’t worry religious right.  Even if I get my wish on these two things you will still have a plethora of mass school shootings for which to send your thoughts and prayers!  Good times!

A great article to insure you are never disappointed in life.  Go in with no expectations of happiness and do the following:

• Don’t forgive.
• Over-analyze what others say.
• Be critical.
• Be ungrateful.
• Be pessimistic.
• Focus on what others have that you do not.
• Be unhealthy.
• Be isolated.
• Focus on the negative.
• Be unhappy.

I get it.  Reverse psychology.  They are showing if you do the opposite, a happy ending is a real possibility.  But I think they are on to something and would not be too quick to dismiss the idea; just market it slightly differently.

Presenting “The Dark Days Ahead Diet!”  Shed unwanted pounds…and friends…and spouses!

A sure-fire money-maker!

After I graduated college in January of 1973 my first “real job” was in California at The Holiday Inn, Brentwood-Bel Air, where I became Front Desk Manager.  This is where I met my good friend Mike and he introduced me to his neighbor Linda, (yes, THE Linda) and the rest is history.

But the memory that has shaken loose from my cobweb encrusted brain was a man I encountered while behind that front desk.  We were frequently visited by a local Bel Air resident, George Santopietro.   Mr. Santopietro owned a very popular Italian restaurant in Bel Air frequented by the Hollywood elite.  He lived on Mulholland Drive next to Jack Nicholson and Warren Beatty, was handsome, drove a Rolls Royce and was even rumored to be ‘connected” but who knows about that?  We’d all like everyone to think we were bound to silence by the Omerta.  

George, as he told me to call him, would frequently come in to arrange a room for an overflow guest or have drinks with friends in our rooftop bar featuring a spectacular view of Bel Air and Los Angeles.  He was so kind, friendly and unaffected it was a pleasure to serve him, always providing the best accommodations available.  So what annoyed me no end was that we were very close to the same age and, unlike George, I was not a handsome, wealthy rugged Italian with a Rolls Royce, but a jealous geek trying to survive on $2.65 an hour; the anti-George!  

One more interesting factoid.  From 1990 to 2002 George was married to Vanna White.  I may have, in some small way, actually brought him and Vanna together.  I’m am not sure how but given enough time I am sure I can come up with a good story.  I wonder if perhaps George has been looking for me to reward the attentive young executive behind the front desk; the totally dedicated servant of the people who was there for him over the years.  I’m sure he tried but, it seems, unsuccessfully.  Does anybody have George’s cell number?  It’s not too late!

The dream lives!