Archives for September 2023

The Only way to get over this is to admit it to friends and family and ask for help.  Your advice is appreciated.  This may be the most difficult thing I’ve done but here goes.

• When drinking some liquid rolls down the glass and gets on my shirt.  Not so bad when my beverage is water but coffee and tea are very problematic.  If not treated immediately the stains are remarkably difficult to remove.
• I often overfill the glass or cup with liquid almost assuring it will spill the short distance from table to mouth.
• When reading I often precariously balance the cup on my leg while turning the page and occasionally it does not end well.
• At times I get busy, let my ice water sit too long and the ice melts without my knowing.  Taking a gulp of tepid water can initiate a gag reflex which causes me to spit out the swallow regardless of who or what is in the expelled liquid’s path.

The public humiliation of my admission will be worth the anguish if someday I can drink a glass of water or sip a cup of tea without staining my clothing or drenching a passerby.

According to the “Eat This, Not That” newsletter the best choice for healthy eaters to make at Taco Bell is the Power Menu Bowl!
Not only does this bowl contain nearly two servings of vegetables, but is also a good source of calcium, iron, and potassium. Iron is an important mineral for blood and oxygen transfer, as well as neurological development and cellular functioning.  So there!

Let’s recap:  You want to eat healthy so you go to Taco Bell.  Order the power menu bowl.  Enjoy and then open your next therapy session questioning your commitment to a healthy lifestyle having made the choice to eat at Taco Bell.  Not that there is anything wrong with patronizing this establishment.  If your goal is to pack in as much salt, fat, sugar and mystery meat as possible in one meal, it’s a fine choice.

Some things are just worth it!

The pundits at CapitalMarvel.com are issuing an alarming warning.  They have posted a video showing why toilet paper shortages during the pandemic were actually a DEADLY warning sign that America will soon run out of food.  And guess what?  They also have the answer as to how to protect your family and will share it with you…”for a price, Ugarte for a price.”  They even have a discount program for those that cannot meet Renault’s price.

As you know if you have read my drivel for a while, I try not to play into the fear-mongering of these scumbags.  I debated whether or not to post this as I felt it might make me the butt of some bad jokes.  The trust I worked so hard to build could be wiped away and flushed in an instant.  Butt I figured it was better to let you know about the theory and hope that everything comes out all right in the end.  

Sorry to cut this short but I have to go make a deposit at the porcelain bank.

FDA approves new over-the-counter gel for erectile dysfunction

I subscribe to the Harvard Health Newsletter.  I wanted you to see the heading so you know this is real and not a plea from a Nigerian Prince.

A new gel called “Eroxon” will soon be available in the United States.  When used, a man is “ready” within 10 minutes and the erection usually lasts, they say, “long enough to have intercourse.”  That’s a rather subjective time frame.  I assume it means the average 2 to 3 hours, but I am old so who knows?  The message here is help is on the way!  I know it’s hard for you old softies to wait but it’s just a little longer, (another product all together).

(Marketing slogan suggestion: “Eroxon to get Erox-off!”).  No charge for that gem.

Under normal circumstances celebrity gossip is of no interest to me other than as fodder for this site.  But this one hits close to home.

Joe Jonas of the insipid bubble gum rock band Jonas Brothers, and he himself the image of Larry Talbot half-way through the transition to The Wolf Man, has filed for divorce from Sophie Turner; she the contemporary incarnation of the Greek Goddess Aphrodite, symbol of love and fertility.  Divorce is always sad so I think now I shall pay a call on Sophie and see if I can comfort her in her hour of sadness.

Say what?…Oh…Really?  Linda does not think it is a good idea.  Jealousy is such an ugly thing!

• Nobody in Florida was washed away by a hurricane, eaten by a gator, crushed by a python, got run over by a retired person in a golf cart or heartlessly sent struggling immigrants to another state.
• Nobody in Texas was shot in a road rage incident by a nut bag with a concealed carry or denied climate change.
• Nobody in Alabama, Mississippi or West Virginia married their sibling.
• Nobody in Colorado was allowed to vape in a theatre with children in attendance while giving their date the “Jergens Jerk.”
• Nobody in California joined a cult.

In fact, if it wasn’t for the mean-spirited actions of the intellectually challenged politicians; those spoiled brats with the non-existent delay of gratification response that run our country in Washington, DC, it might have been a pretty Great Day!

I need to let you in on something that has been said in a thousand ways and is true every time.  I prefer to shovel baloney (or bologna?) but everyone needs to know this.  When you forgive someone, really forgive in your heart, you are doing it for yourself.  You receive much greater benefit than those you forgive; the weight is lifted off your shoulders, not theirs. 

Also consider that in most cases the person or group you forgive does not give a rat’s ass if you forgive them or not, (relax, I said MOST, not all).  And if it’s a public figure like a traitorous former president, they would not be able to accept forgiveness from a freedom hating radical left socialist hell-bent on giving away billionaire’s money.  Although most difficult, do it anyway.  Forgiving him will make an astounding difference in your life. 

In a case like that I would be willing to “put my money where my mouth is” and donate generously to a Go Fund Me account purchasing him a one-way first class ticket to Russia where he can revel amongst his friends and handlers and have a daily tee-time at the internationally famous Gorki Golf Club (Гольф-клуб GORKI).

He can dine at one of nine Michelin starred restaurants in Russia.  I hear the borscht and Blini there are to die for!  (Literally if you piss-off Vlad the Impaler).

Flossie is the cat listed by The Guinness Book of World’s Records as the oldest living cat as she approaches her 27th birthday.  Flossie’s secret is shared with us, with her permission, by her current roommate, Vicki Green.

Vicki knows the joys of helping the elderly and adopted Flossie, having outlived 2 owners, when the third owner could no longer care for the aging cat.  Vicki explains Flossie is losing her hearing, has poor eyesight, but takes frequent naps, is chill and never misses a meal.

If those traits are key to a long life, I’m good for another 50 years!  Hear that, Vicki?

There has been a catastrophic accident caused by AI.

Thankfully I received an email from the Chief Investment Strategist of Money Morning, Shah G. who got to the bottom of the accident at the bastion of truth that no one ever heard of; the Alignment Research Center.  
The world may be coming to an end and AI preparing to take over the world and either obliterate or enslave all humans, BUT Shah G. (whom I believe is a 4th cousin of Nigerian Prince Sheikh Yabooti), will, for a substantial price, let you in on how to make investment profits from this apparent disaster. 

How can one in good conscience resist such an offer!  Thank you Shah G!  You Da’ Man!

Howard Beale’s rant from the 1976 film Network rings true now more than ever.  

How tired are you of the constant spate of lies and misinformation emanating from our nation’s capital?  An orange psycho with the world’s worst comb-over who is under indictment for several felonies, is incapable of telling the truth and has his party shaking with fear when some consider perhaps replacing him with someone honest?  A whack-job anti-Semitic congresswoman from Georgia spouting inconceivable conspiracy theories; a New York congressman who lied about literally everything, is under indictment for felonies and whose response is “everybody lies on resumes.” 

So what do we do, especially on such a tragic day in our history?  We forgive and ask them to do better.  Let them know we are all just people trying to find our way in a complex world and ask that every action they take is for the good of all citizens regardless of race, religion or economic circumstance.  We ask them to be empathetic to all suffering and put the greater good before personal power and wealth. 

And this will work because magic is real!