Archives for June 2023

Political Thriller:

• Ne’er do well son of a wealthy racist land baron grows up a deranged, sociopathic narcissist.
• He takes a page from the Hitler Playbook and creates fear by denigrating an entire country and astoundingly becomes P.O.T.U.S.
• In 4 disastrous years he delivers not a single bit of help to the lower and middle income Americans.  No infra-structure improvements, no educational help, no healthcare as promised; nothing but empty words, and lies, lies, lies. 
• In 4 years he is soundly defeated but, like a petulant 8 year old child, refuses to admit defeat.
• (NOTE) Comic Relief: have him be so vain he fashions a horrible comb-over out of straw rather than admit his hair is thinning.

Maybe not enough here for a novel but perhaps a Hallmark Channel Christmas feel good movie?

From The History Channel: 
“In what is now known as Juneteenth, on June 19, 1865, Union soldiers arrive in Galveston, Texas with news that the Civil War is over and slavery in the United States is abolished.  A mix of June and 19th, Juneteenth has become a day to commemorate the end of slavery in America. Despite the fact that President Abraham Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation was issued more than two years earlier on January 1, 1863, a lack of Union troops in the rebel state of Texas made the order difficult to enforce.”

Juneteenth, a day of celebration for most, is known by Texas Governor Greg Abbott and the legion of MAGA morons as “The day when America was no longer great.”

I explained the origins of Father’s Day last year.  We salute all fathers for their unselfish…blah, blah, blah.

This year we delve into the murky underbelly of the Day!  Ostensibly Father’s Day is a non-sectarian holiday now celebrated in 111 countries around the globe.  It has been suggested by some pagans that Father’s Day is their celebration of the Sun because the sun is thought to be the father of the universe and the day of dads falls in close proximity to the summer solstice.  Irrefutable proof!

So for all you polytheistic pagans out there getting naked and dancing like a dervish, Happy Sun-Worshipping Father’s Day!

I thought we were done with the charlatan Dr. Oz and his, as they say in Latin, Phonus Balonus weight loss crap.  He admitted under oath at the congressional hearings that the witches’ brew he was hawking had no real weight loss advantage.  It is all just diet and exercise. But as his attempt at becoming a senator from Pennsylvania by crawling up trump’s ass failed and no legitimate organization or TV station wants him back, he has taken to hawking the trash with new spokesman, former country-western star Tim McGraw.  But it’s not Tim McGraw.  It’s some CGI or doctored fake ads, but apparently nobody can make this nightmare stop.

C’mon Tim.  Take some of your zillions and let’s fight to get these internet scammers behind bars; preferably in the cell next to Trump.

According to U.K.-based artist Sam Cox, “I wanted to live in a property completely covered in characters of my own creation. A Doodle Land filled with happy creatures that bring me joy when I see them and hopefully make others happy along the way.”  His entire home, both inside and out, is covered in happy, joyful scribbles.

This story stirred a nostalgic memory, taking me back to 1974 when I was Front Desk Manager at The Holiday Inn Brentwood-Bel Air in Southern California.  We had a man check into room 623 and prepay 3 days in advance using cash, an acceptable practice in those days.   He explained he was doing a yoga meditation retreat and did not want to be disturbed.  After two days we received complaints about the room.  The Innkeeper went to check and found the occupant was gone but, like Mr. Doodle, had covered every inch of the walls, floors and furniture with his original artwork. 

But unlike Mr. Doodle his art medium of choice was not a black marking pen but a more organic material.  Let it suffice to say that rather than Mr. Doodle we dubbed the former occupant of room 623 “Mr. Doody.”  
True story…though I wish it were not…

In 1860 when the Colorado territory needed a name, mining lobbyist George M. Willing presented the name “Idaho” to Congress, claiming it was a Native American Shoshone word meaning “Gem of the Mountains.”  Days after Congress agreed to call the area now known as Colorado, “Idaho,” they found the word Idaho wasn’t actually Native American so they scrapped the name.

By July 3, 1890 when the area now known as Idaho became the 43rd state, there were enough dummies who still believed George M. Willing without doing any checking and adopted the name. This example of  the population’s inability to employ critical thinking, still rampant in the state’s residents explains why they buy into the stolen election and radical left baloney.

Along with its “Famous Potatoes” the state has an abundance of white supremacists, guns, conspiracy theories and natural beauty.   
And don’t forget to visit the Potato Museum in Blackfoot; positively spellbinding.  Did you know a potato is a tuber and a nightshade? 
Mind blown!

Some more promising news in the field of environmentalism: In a “very surprising” discovery, scientists have located several microbes in the Alps and the Arctic that can digest plastic at low temperatures — a potential game-changer in globally decreasing plastic waste. “These organisms could help to reduce the costs and environmental burden of an enzymatic recycling process for plastic.” 

Let’s be thankful the Alps are not made of plastic.  Now that would be an environmental disaster.  Where would we ski if there was no Gstaad?

Happy Anniversary to the Angel that was sent to save me!

Full Disclosure: This may not be our most recent picture
but the new cameras are so unreliable…

Researchers have found that understanding dark humor requires greater mental acuity.  So if you find these jokes funny you may possess above average intelligence. 

But what is dark humor, exactly? Psychologists have defined it as “humor that treats sinister subjects like death, disease, deformity, handicap or warfare with bitter amusement and presents such tragic, distressing or morbid topics in humorous terms.”  
Let’s test:

1. What has four legs and one arm?  A Pitbull.
2. Why won’t cannibals eat clowns?  They taste funny.
3. Trump

The last one may be the biggest joke of all if it wasn’t also frightening.

If you were watching TV in the 1950’s and early 1960’s you would know it’s a Timex Watch hawked by newsman, reporter and gameshow host John Cameron Swayze.  If you are a Millennial you probably think the answer is a masochistic poodle with Tourette syndrome.
Seriously, how do I come up with stupid stuff like that?  I am seriously worried about me.