Archives for May 2023

“The way of a superior man is threefold: Virtuous, he is free from anxieties; wise, he is free from perplexities; bold, he is free from fear”. —  Kong Qiu aka Confucius.

“And if a man or woman has not a smidge of any of the above virtues there is only one course of action where their total lack of courage and morality will allow them to flourish: Politics.”  – Me

Dear Common People:
I just saw that Netflix is producing a show based on the Pulitzer Prize winning novel “All the Light We Cannot See,” one of the best books ever!
So if you have Netflix and you can tear yourself away from Seinfeld reruns to actually do something of value, I suggest you read the novel by Anthony Doerr in preparation for what I hope will be a rare gem in the brain-rotting barren wasteland that is television.

Pretentious?  Moi?

      My apologies to my Fan Club, all 3 of you, for my radio silence.  I have been in the hospital, or what I like to call “The Northwest Magic Kingdom” because it is so much fun!  To you who are not Doctors or the equivalent, that is, regular viewers of Gray’s Anatomy, you might not recognize the name staphylococcus aureus as one of the common staph infections. 
     This nasty stuff gets in your blood and runs wild, thinking it can do whatever it wants. Staphylococcus aureus the bacterial world’s equivalent of the Second Amendment Morons (S.A.M.s), gun nuts that think they can do whatever they want and that guns should not be regulated in any way.  Antibiotics are knocking out my infection.  Now if we can get some antibiotic legislation to try allowing society a touch of regulation.  Isn’t being regular what good health is all about?

I’m Back Baby!

EDITORS NOTE:  In order to return to posting daily, H.R. made Fred bring notes from my doctors.  To fill the empty days on his site he posted a small selection of the notes written for him by his army of doctors.  (P.S. Nurses are the most amazing people on the planet.  More on that later.)

Please excuse Fred’s absence.
He is not responsible for anything that happened.
“He was on a break!”
Dr. Ross Geller, PhD

Please excuse Fred’s absence.
He apparently ate some bad Crab Nebula at the chic Café Black Hole in the Andromeda Strain.
Don’t let it eclipse his previous stellar work.
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson

Please excuse Fred’s absence.
He was very ill but his liver is perfect and will pair nicely with some fava beans and a nice Chianti!
Dr. Hannibal Lecter

Please excuse Fred’s absence.
While on the last crusade raiding the lost ark he inadvertently ended up in the temple of doom, a known hot bed of Staphylococcus aureus.
Dr. Indiana Jones

Please Excuse Fred’s Absence.
He got the bad feelin’ but it ain’t Nuthin’ but a “G” Thang!
Dr. Dre

Please excuse Fred’s absence.
He is sick and NOT from one my phony weight loss pills I sell to idiots that are dumb enough to believe my lies.
Dr. Mehmet Oz
Charlatan, Failed PA Senate Candidate and DJT Toady

Please excuse Fred’s absence.
He vas only following orders but…Mein Führer! I can walk!”
Dr. Strangelove