Archives for February 2023

Those of you old enough to remember television from 1958 to 1964 know this famous phrase.  Kookie parked cars at 77 Sunset Strip, the address of the Baily & Spencer Detective Agency.  He eventually became so popular, the writers morphed him into a private detective as well.  Kookie was known for his thick, wavy hair that he combed multiple times a day, sparking this signature line.  From then on in real life he was forever known as Ed “Kookie” Burns.

I only bring up this memory to show you how one acting gig can make, or kill, a career. 
Donna Douglas was forever Ellie May, wearing a bikini to swim in the cement pond. 
Dawn Wells lived on as Mary Ann, the second hottest chick on Gilligan’s Island. 
Ned Beatty, as wonderful a character actor as he was, will always be remembered with his pants down, bent over a rock squealing like a pig in Deliverance. 

But people like me, the outliers of this business we call Show, have never had this type of stigma but challenges all the same.  Quite the opposite.  Whenever in public I am besieged by adoring fans mistaking me for George Clooney, asking for an autograph or to pose with me for a group selfie.  And I have not the heart to disappoint the little people so I play along to give them their memorable moment.

It’s my selfless contribution to bring joy to the world.

After the US military shot down three mysterious objects over North America last weekend, there has been speculation that these are alien craft and may have been recovered and secretly shipped off to area 51 in Roswell, NM.  But the White House made it clear this week that no, this is not an alien invasion. 
“I know there have been questions and concerns about this, but there is no — again no — indication of aliens (or) extraterrestrial activity,” White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre told reporters on Monday. 

No mention was made of the rumor that a grotesque orange colored alien-like figure with a bad comb-over was shot down over Florida and was later spotted on a golf course in Palm Beach, Florida. 

What are they hiding?

It’s been awhile since last I shared the wisdom of Edgar Cayce, this quote being from his CCL 257-62 (CCL?  Your guess is as good as mine).
But you can’t argue with the thought.  One good friend is all you need.  If you have more the odds raise exponentially that one will someday want to borrow money from you.  

The NTKF website, Need to Know Facts, sent this disturbing information today.
Alaska and Maine suffer from the same humiliation; neither state has ever sent a team to the NCAA March Madness Basketball Tournament.  Alaska has an excuse.  They do not have a Division 1 team.  But woe is Maine.  They qualify but are simply NOT GOOD ENOUGH!  We cannot let this go on.

I am giving Maine a “Time-Out” to sit and think about what they’ve done.  By June 1st I want to see a plan to get their Division 1 team (or teams?) up to tournament caliber.  It is not rocket-science.  Do what other universities do to attract talent, offer incentives. 

• Surrogates to attend classes and take tests.
• Guaranteed grades.   
• Degree of choice.
• Higher salaries
• Free Air Jordan Shoes, (am I behind the times in this one?)
• All expenses paid one-on-one Tutoring, (if you know what I mean and I’m guessing you do).

There is a lot of money in that tournament and isn’t that what education is all about?

     Nikki Haley, governor of South Carolina from 2011 to 2017 and former UN Ambassador and Trump Toady, has declared her candidacy for the Republican nomination.  I don’t care anymore for her ideas than I do for the previously declared candidate, but at least she has been known to tell the truth occasionally.  That’s a big plus in my mind, but not necessarily in the minds of her target audience.
    Still, there is the possibility her current opponent will be in prison soon so we have to give her a longshot chance.  

“Fingers crossed!”  Not for her, for prison.

“Ludicrous to think that the word you mean is one that happens to share a final sound with one you’ve just used.  What sense does that make?”  This quote, from a review in The New Yorker by Kamran Javadizadeh, got me thinking.  What is the value of rhyme?  It is certainly fun and an effective memory aid.  Examples:

• Playing “The Name Game” using Chuck. Fun!  “Banana, Fanna  Fo…”
• Your name is Berman and your high school friends call you Sperman.  Fun, I guess.
• You’re a girl with the last name Spitz and having developed at an early age you are the subject of many schoolyard rhyming epithets (figure it out genius).  Fun then, offensive now.
• Memorizing life-saving facts: “The chalice with the palace has the pellet that is poison.  The vessel with the thistle has the brew that is true!” 
• Keeping Kosher.  “Whenever we sit down to eat, we don’t have milk when we have meat!”  

Hey look:  I’m a poet and I don’t know it! (But my feet show it!)

That’s the question Clint Eastwood posed to Albert Popwell as he lay bleeding on the streets of San Francisco after Dirty Harry shot him escaping from an unsuccessful attempt at robbing a bank.  “Did he fire five shots or six?”  Popwell didn’t trust his instinct and lost an opportunity to take out Detective Harry Callahan and save us from a string of mediocre sequels…

We can make our own luck.  In his book “The Luck Factor,” author Richard Wiseman, identified four common traits in inherently lucky people.  

• They leap at opportunities.
• They listen to their intuition.
• They are optimists.
• They are resilient.

The last time I did the first three; used my intuition, felt optimistic and leapt at an opportunity, I bought stock in Richard Branson’s space tourism company, Virgin Galactic at about $25.00 a share.  Branson almost immediately sold a block of his personal holdings.  The stock is now hovering far from outer space at about $4.00 a share.  But I’m still here so I guess I am resilient.  One out of four! 

I did have all four traits and amazing luck about 48 years ago when I met Linda and she said “YES!”  That’s enough luck for anyone.  But if you happen to have a hot stock tip I’m all ears!

Although Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly haven’t officially pulled the plug on their wedding plans, a source tells People Magazine the couple “had a fight over the weekend” and that the actress (really?), is very upset and won’t speak to the actor/musician, (Really?),  (People Mag is way too nice).  And here I am just getting over the KimYe breakup! 

Megan:  Time to hook-up with Pete Davidson.  It’ll do wonders for your career and perhaps the public won’t notice that since you started have work done you barely look your species.  Meow!

P.S. Does anyone really care about any of this; especially this website?

“…by any other name would still smell as sweet.”   Good thought Will,  but they also have thorns causing puncture wounds that might lead to infection with all manner of horrific outcomes possible”

Yes, that is how my day is going!

     There is dry ice so why not dry water?  That is the question that kept running through my head.  And who was it that said all great discoveries begin as an unanswerable question?  I went to work and did my research and developed a water that can be used for almost anything; you can swim, do laundry, shower or bathe, wash your car, floors and windows without ever having to use any method of drying.  It simply goes on dry. 
     The one problem is that the chemical needed to create dry water is only available on Proxima Centauri, a star that is 4.24 light years away (roughly 25 trillion miles).  There is a shuttle there leaving soon and I need to be on it, but the guard says I am not allowed to leave until I post something called bail and complete a 72 hour psychiatric hold.
     Would someone please go for me and pick up my order on Proxima Centauri?  Obi-Wan Kenobi was going to go for me but he is on the no-fly list due to covid restrictions and Mr. Spock has a previous engagement on Alpha Centauri (dang, so close, yet too far to swing by!). 

I would really appreciate it and owe you one!