Archives for 2022

Back in the Early 1990’s I owned a short-lived piece of equipment called a Laser Disc Player.  The quality of sound and picture was amazing but alas the large discs soon replaced by the CD and went the way of vinyl.  But during its brief existence I watched my favorite concert on disc, Paul Simon’s “Graceland Concert” more than a hundred times.  Paul Simon violated a UN cultural boycott to let music take center stage.  The group including Hugh Masekela, Miriam Makeba and Ladysmith Black Mambazo gave us a few hours of musical escape.  Even protest songs like “Bring Back Nelson Mandela” combined hope and melody to lift the soul, not crush it.
It was a moment in time when hate and fear gave way to miraculous music and pure joy as the multi-raced crowd sang and danced and cheered together.

So if you ever tire of listening to politicians fear-mongering, calling each other names, lying about everything, banning books, infringing on your religious freedom and lining their pockets with your taxes while pretending to give a rat’s ass about you, hop on You Tube or pick up DVD and experience a moment of joy, something we could feel all the time if we were just not so afraid.

I got an email from Costco today offering the fabulous Osaki Maxim 3D LE Massage Chair for the incredibly low price of $2,599.00 delivered!  I was about to place an order and then I read the fine print.  You are limited to a maximum purchase of 5 chairs.  Everyone knows you need at least 6 to make a set.

I was so looking forward to the massage but I guess, in this case, there will be no happy ending!

“Buy into a company because you want to own it, not because you want the stock to go up.”  Warren Buffet said it and I was sure it is good advice.  So when I received a call, Caller ID: “Possible Spam” I was, of course on guard.  But when Boris explained that this was an opportunity to quadruple my money in 4 weeks by a company that provides a service everyone needs for under $10.00 I knew I “Wanted” to own it.  I sent the money to the off-shore account and sat back waiting for the huge returns.

Can you believe I may have lost all my money?   I am still waiting for a call back.  Thanks for nothing Warren!

Never one to fear embracing my feminine side I often thought I would have made a great cheerleader, like Linda at Burroughs High in Burbank.
Today, with pompoms flying, I would lead everyone in rousing support of Raphael Warnock in Georgia!

But alas my alma mater, Hamilton High in Los Angeles, was not as progressive and my application was ignored.
I could have been somebody, a contender!  Oh the ravages of Gender Bias!

       I feel so special.  There is only a few spots left to sign on their birthday card and they saved one just for me and my donation!
      Is there anybody stupid enough to believe that?  I mean other than anyone who would join the NRA?

“Researchers at Nottingham Trent University have created a new type of fabric that can charge simple electronic devices via solar energy: an “e-textile” that can harness enough solar power to charge small items like a mobile phone or a smartwatch.”

I’d hold off on buying one until they get the side effects under control, unless you think possible impotence, diarrhea, macular degeneration, oozing sores, hair loss, insomnia and flaky elbows are worth the convenience.  At least, that’s what I heard.

“Research out of Italy (yes, really) determined domestic pigs have their own set of conflict resolution behaviors.  Researchers observed 104 pigs over a five-month period and noted any instances of fighting among them, as well as what happened in the aftermath. They found that both victims and aggressors engaged in “reconciliation behavior,” including resting their heads on each other, sitting side-by-side, and touching nose-to-nose,”

Thinking this made sense I attempted to try these techniques after a somewhat heated exchange with a coworker.  The outcome was not what I expected and resulted in my being forced into making a formal apology to her, enduring several trips to the HR department for counseling and 10 hours of harassment training.

No good deed goes unpunished!

My advanced years brings with it great wisdom from having seen, heard and experienced so much in life.  Much like Socrates or Plato I contemplate this comedy we call “Life.”  Much of what I ponder is uplifting; lessons on the human condition that bring tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy, oh oh tidings of comfort and joy (Christmas is in the air).  But, alas, life brings with it a darkness as well; what philosopher Nello Penello of Walnut Creek called “The Futility” in his oft quoted treatise, The Futility of The Shower.

Penello deftly points out that a shower is but a temporary fix.   Immediately upon exiting the comforting stream of warm water, one again gathers dirt on his person and must repeat the process the following day.  It is Penello’s contention that a much more sensible approach would be to forget about bathing in any form other than when one goes to celebratory events such as weddings and Bar Mitzvahs. 

This made so much sense to me I told Linda I was going to adopt this behavior and would not be showering again until my cousin’s wedding next November.  She begged to differ and issued threats that left me no alternative but to abandon my plan to be a modern bathing influencer. 

Sorry Nello.  You were a visionary ahead of your time.

Founded by the World Kindness Movement in 1998, the holiday is observed internationally on November 13 as part of the not-for-profit organization’s mission to “inspire individuals towards greater kindness and to connect nations to create a kinder world.”

A few suggestions on how to observe the holiday:

• Call a friend going through a hard time and listen.
• Donate a case of canned food to the local food bank.
• If you walk past a piece of trash on the ground pick it up and throw it away.
• Put you shopping cart in the designated area.
• Call your Mom.
• Offer help where needed, aka random acts of kindness.
• Smile at strangers as you pass by (Not suggested within 100 yards of a schoolyard).

A few behaviors to avoid:

• Driving at 60 mph two feet behind someone who cut you off.
• Whining, name calling, lying, cheating, stealing or killing; in other words, acting like an elected official.
• Buying Twitter.
• Defacing library books (No, I can’t let that go).
• Wait patiently in line, no taking “cuts,” you know who you are!

Have a nice day!

 

A lesson in Homophones.
A homophone is each of two or more words having the same pronunciation but different meanings, origins, or spelling, for example: War and Wor.

W-O-R is good.
W-A-R is bad!
They are both pronounced the same way and both are transformative but there the similarity ends. 

WOR as in Wor Wonton means plain wonton soup has been transformed into a meal by adding vegetables.
WAR transforms people into vegetables.  Subtle difference.