Archives for 2022

What do you call a soft drink other than a specific brand name like 7-Up.

Growing up in Chicago we drank Pop.  In California with a young family we drank Coke, although an actual Coca-Cola was rarely on the menu. Coke was the generic term.  And Soda, who says that?  A soda is carbonated water, flavored syrup and minimum 2 scoops of ice cream, period.  If you are one of these misguided souls, immediately cease asking for a soda unless it falls under the carbonated, syrupy, ice cream version.  Creatures of habit who need time to embrace the proper nomenclature may temporarily identify the liquid as Soda-pop for a period not to exceed 2 weeks.

To be clear, this is not optional.

At least I showed up!

Yep, I got nothing.

Contrary to what its name suggests, a heat pump doesn’t just warm your home in the winter. It also provides air conditioning to keep your home cool and comfortable all summer long.

Many names belie their actual meaning but usually for comedic effect; a giant person is nicknamed “Tiny,”  an NBA star “Shorty,” a Kardashian “Einstein,” or a Trump “Human.” 

Isn’t that what many of us want?  A sign that provides proof when faith alone fails to convince us?  Perhaps the sky parting and a lightning bolt that strikes down our enemies like the guy who cuts you off in traffic or fails to silence his cellphone at the theater?

My threshold of belief requires a much less dramatic sign.   For example, the discovery that the nutritional values and calorie counts of broccoli and donuts are actually reversed and replacing vegetables with donuts would be a sure-fire way to lose weight and gain muscle.

That’s a sign that would get me to the Mosque every Friday, the Synagogue every Saturday and Church every Sunday!

May 12th is National Limerick Day in honor of the birthday in 1812 of Edward Lear, the Poet who popularized the funny 5-line verse.  But limericks share the date with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Day, International Nurses Day, National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, National Hospital Day, National Odometer Day and National Nutty Fudge Day!

In honor of this day I will share with you my favorite Limerick.  It contains something for everyone of the celebrants.  As I have an eclectic audience with wide-ranging sensibilities, I thought it prudent to edit the limerick a bit so everyone can enjoy the uplifting message.

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose **** was so ****  he could  **** it. 
Said he with a grin,
as he ****  ***  his chin.
If my *** was a **** I would **** it!

On this day in 1997 Deep Blue, an IBM computer beat Chess Master and World Champion Gary Kasparov in the last of a six-game tournament.  A man-made machine defeated the world’s best man-machine.  

If Gary had been a student of history he might have laid down his king and died prior to defeat as did the steel-drivin’ man, John Henry, back in the 1870’s. He laid down his hammer and died before he’d let that new-fangled steam hammer outdo him.

Too bad John Henry is not around today.  We could use his hammer on Deep Blue…and perhaps Facebook while at it.  

Today the Philippine People chose the son of a cruel and authoritarian dictator and the daughter of the current president as President and Vice-President of their proud and beautiful nation.

The people have spoken as they did in the United States in 2016, so there is a precedent for crazy outcomes of elections worldwide.  In The Philippines a person can only serve one six-year term as President.   At least in six years they will not have to suffer a maniac nut bag running around lying about the election results to soothe his enormous ego and try to regain power to pardon all his criminal friends and family.

That’s something!  My prayer for the Philippines; the hope that the apple has fallen far from the tree and the President-elect keeps his promise to end corruption and serve The People!

Rich Strike, an 80-1 longshot won the Kentucky Derby making some racing bettors a lot of money.  A $1.00 wager on the Superfecta, picking the first four horses in order, returned $321,500.10.  And unbelievable as it may seem, I had a vivid dream telling me the three year old would streak across the finish line first.  I should have found a way to make a bet!  The bummer is I had the dream Saturday night, after the race was run.

Life can be so cruel.

Here are my two favorite Moms!
Linda, Mom to our 3 Boys & my mom Audrey, Mom to 3 other boys.
           And both were stuck with me!

           
                     LINDA                           AUDREY
                     Both in my heart forever.