Archives for 2022

I read that a pest control company based in Raleigh, North Carolina, The Pest Informer is seeking American households to be their guinea pigs. “Specifically, they’re looking for five to seven homes where they can release approximately 100 cockroaches, which they’ll seek to eradicate using different types of treatments. The families who are willing to take on this difficult-to-stomach challenge will be rewarded with $2,000.”

If they do discover a humane way to rid the country useless pests perhaps it can be adapted to a much greater need; that of ridding Congress of the 535 vermin that infest our Capitol. 

Many People think CPR is only for trained professionals.  Dr. Holly Andersen, of New York-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center is on mission to show us that anyone, regardless of experience or certification, can save a life with hands-only CPR.  You don’t have to do mouth-to-mouth anymore!  
That is wonderful news.  Now it is possible for us guys to save the life of someone other than a beautiful woman!

I know…You didn’t think I was that guy.  Sorry to disillusion you.

     Great News as the need for more sources for clean energy grows exponentially.  Capped landfills or “Brownfields,” sites that have been closed and covered so as not to spread contaminants and toxic waste, are being transformed into clean energy hubs called at record rates across the United States.   These toxic sights are becoming solar farms called “Brightfields.”
     I propose we expand this wonderful program rapidly by not waiting for closure, but turning our countries most toxic, harmful sites into solar energy fields immediately.  We can start with Mar-a-Lago, The Texas State Capitol Building and the Fox News Studios.

Take a deep breath…just the thought makes the air seems cleaner already.

                  And we are just getting started!

             

Following are 4 Questions, not to be confused with The Four Questions asked on Passover at the Seder; we all know the answers to those!
These four will give you a window to your soul and impact your vision of the world.  So if you answer “Yes” to any of the following 4 questions please get help as you are delusional!

1. Do you really believe, without a shred of credible evidence, there was mass fraud in the last presidential election impacting the results?
2. Do you feel the intent of the Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution regarding “a well-regulated militia” protects the rights of teenagers to purchase assault weapons without a background check?
3. Do you feel our government is doing all it can to see that our poorest and most vulnerable citizens have access to affordable healthcare?
4. Do you believe you can lose weight by switching your Hershey’s Chocolate for Skinny Me Zero Sugar Chocolate without changing your diet and increasing your exercise?

I’m glad I cleared that up for you.

There are experts who can tell your generation by one’s ability to identify cartoon catch-phrases.  I am not one of them but here is a sampling of the questions on the test:

Match the Cartoon Character to the Quote:

1. “Wascally Wabbit!”                                                    A.  Bugs Bunny
2. “Yabba Dabba Doo!”                                                 B.  Donnie Dump
3. “I tawt I taw a Puddy Tat!”                                      C.  Sylvester Cat
4. “What’s Up Doc?”                                                       D.  Snagglepuss
5. “I won the election!”                                                  E.  Yogi Bear
6. “Hey, Hey, Hey!”                                                          F.  Tweety Pie
7. “Heavens to Murgatroyd!”                                    G.  Elmer Fudd
8. “Sufferin’ Succotash!                                                H.  Fred Flintstone

90% and above, you are officially old!

When Cecil the Seasick Sea Serpent uttered these words repeatedly were they meant for Dishonest John or Donald John? (Is there a difference?)

       

Mysteries of the Universe?

     When most of us think of Iceland is it for their eponymous invention that brought them fame and fortune.  A 3-dimensional cube of water whose temperature has been lowered below 32 degrees Fahrenheit or 100 degrees Celsius, miraculously forming a solid from what was moments before a liquid.  A world, doomed to drink warm beverages during the summer, now can enjoy a frosty glass of whatever year-round.
(Interesting Factoid: For reasons unknown, the only modern civilized nation where Iceland’s top invention is not available is Poland).

So why is Iceland considered one of the healthiest countries in the world?  It is thanks to a diet high in fresh fish.  As a result, Icelanders are getting lots of heart-healthy boosts of omega-3 fatty acids.  So…Eat more Fish!  I like mine breaded and deep fried in lard with lots of fat-back gravy and smothered fries.

I feel healthier already!

Updated for 2022:
“Turds of a Feather Fail Together!”

Like me, I am sure many of you struggle to keep your weight and blood sugar under control.  I find that making the healthiest choices of what to eat is much simpler if you know the glycemic index and glycemic load number of each food.  Finding the number is easy as there are multiple free charts available on the internet.  The trick is to know the difference so you may choose wisely, grasshoppers.  I am here to help.  See Below:

• While both phrases begin with the identical word, Glycemic, that is where the similarity ends.
• LOAD:  4 letters. Using the “Alphabet Algorithm,” (Each letter valued by its order in the alphabet), we get the total value of 32: L= 12 + O=15 + A=1 + D=4 = 32
• INDEX:  5 Letters.  If we only use the first 4, we get an identical value: I=9 + N=14 + D=4 + E=5 = 32, BUT we have to account for The “X” Factor!  So the total number for Index is 54, quite a bit more than load.

Simple, right?  So next time you are faced with the conundrum of having to choose between a 3 scoop Hot Fudge Sundae with French Vanilla Ice Cream or an apple, I hope this formula makes it an easy decision!