Archives for 2022

Not one U.S. City in the top 20.

1. Oslo, Norway
2. Bern, Switzerland
3. Helsinki, Finland
4. Zurich, Switzerland
5. Copenhagen, Denmark
6. Geneva, Switzerland
7. Ottawa, Canada
8. Sydney, Australia
9. Stuttgart, Germany
10. Munich, Germany
11. Stockholm, Sweden
12. Melbourne, Australia
13. Amsterdam, The Netherlands
14. Tokyo, Japan
15. Leipzig, Germany
16. Vancouver, Canada
17. Auckland, New Zealand
18. Hamburg, Germany
19. Toronto, Canada
20. Frankfurt, Germany

     There are also lists for Best Cities for Mental Health and Best Countries for Social Progress.  Again no U.S. Cities in the top 20 but The United States did come in 24th on the social progress list, but the Supreme Court has set about to put an end to that!
     How about listing some things we can win at: Most School Children Murdered in Random Shootings or Most Ass-Hole Gun Nuts or Highest Percentage of Incarcerated Adults.

In July of 1916 the beaches in New Jersey were terrorized by real shark attacks. 25 Year old Charles Vansant was in 3 1/2 feet of water when a shark clamped on his leg and would not release it until he was pulled to the shore.  It was the first of many attacks which eventually ended with an elaborate netting system and shore patrols helping to quell the panic.

It was not until 2009 that the true horror of The Jersey Shore was exposed by MTV when they released into the world  Snooki, The Situation and an odious group of frightening creatures sending shockwaves throughout America no shark attack could ever match..  

What a glorious day in French history!
On July 14, 1789, Parisian revolutionaries and mutinous troops storm and dismantle the Bastille, a royal fortress and prison that had come to symbolize the tyranny of the Bourbon monarchs.

Fast forward to January 6, 2021 when a different type of insurrection took place in Washington, D.C. on Capitol Hill.  The difference being these revolutionaries were made up not of freedom seeking heroes but an unholy mix of racists, white supremacists and ignorant sheep believing a big lie told by the sitting president, a sociopathic narcissist unable to grasp reality.  Unlike the French freedom fighters at the Bastille, this man sought to undermine democracy and seat himself as dictator. 

Fortunately our bastille, aka Leavenworth Penitentiary, is still in full operation, currently housing 1503 residents.  But, to quote the nurse stationed in the morgue in episode 53 of the original Twilight Zone; “Room for one more, Honey!”

WARNING:  The following may disturb some readers, particularly those that suffer a pre-existing phobia with regard to the Phylum Chordata; Class Mammalia; Order Rodentia; specifically the Pocket Gopher; basically your everyday garden gopher. 

A new study suggests that there’s a non-human mammal that farms: the pocket gopher. “University of Florida researchers Jack Putz and Veronica Selden claim that gophers are doing something much more sophisticated with their underground tunnels than simply burrowing — they’re “employing a low-level food production system that may qualify as farming.”

So now that you have come to terms with Climate Change, Nuclear Oblivion, Democracy giving way to totalitarianism, mass shootings, dishonest politicians, the Supreme Court trampling The Constitution and problems with our healthcare and education systems, you probably thought it was smooth-sailing ahead.  But get ready for perhaps the greatest threat yet to mankind’s existence: 
                 RODENTS THAT FARM!  Coming soon to a theater near you…probably!

Last year on my Dear Wife’s Birthday I joked about telling her real age.  So this year, to make up for leading you all astray last year, I will tell you nothing but the truth:

1. Linda is ageless but at least 10 years younger than me in physical Conditioning.
2. She is an Angel sent to see that a certain old curmudgeon does not lose his way.
3. She is equal to a Michelin Starred Chef but loves grilled cheese, cold cereal and summer fruit and hates steak, lobster or any seafood except solid white albacore tuna salad.
4. She knows her way around a chocolate chip cookie!
5. She also loathes social media of any type and may not forgive me for posting this. 

But somehow we make it work!  46 years and counting!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!

Back in the 1950’s we knew how to coin an insult!  The origin of this gem is disputed, but the consensus is that the insult was born when a sergeant supplied his combat troops with prostitutes and some were seen leaving the tent wearing the soldier’s boots.  Somehow this action morphed from a fair trade to an insult against one’s mother.

As we matured and our appreciation of the most important woman in the world grew exponentially, we realized the hurtfulness of our words and we could not bear to insult a mother, even those of our worst enemies.  Even the most hardened of delinquents would respond to an insult aimed at his mother with the bone-chilling response: “Hey man, No Mothers!“

It was a scary time to grow up!

A bit of money wisdom; a quote from the Oracle of Omaha, Warren Buffett on taking action in the stock market.  But I believe the advice is good for many of life’s situations.  Take today, for example.  I have nothing cogent or clever to say so I will say nothing.  But come to think of it, by saying I am not going to say something didn’t I say something?

I got it.  If in the future you see a blank post with nothing on it at all, you will know it was a well thought-out and very clever post thanks to Mr. Buffett!

                                                                                                             (Get it?)

The AARP, provider of news you can use for those of us in the “ancient but hanging in there”  generation, tells us our smartphones may be increasing our risk of falls, pains in the neck (literally and figuratively), sleep problems, obesity, eyestrain and a litany of other maladies.

I know some of us are slow learners but is there still a single pea-brained idiot that still texts while driving?  If there is and you are that dim-wit please do the following before you kill yourself and others:

1. Throw your car keys in the toilet (or alternatively sell your car).
2. If you can afford it download Uber & Lyft apps. (Not to be confused with Uber Eats).  Otherwise buy a bus pass.
3. Never get behind the wheel of a car again.

This PSA brought to you by “Common Sense. Don’t leave home without it.”

 

One Bomb was beautiful and one was a horror.

On July 5, 1946, French designer Louis Réard unveils a daring two-piece swimsuit at the Piscine Molitor, a popular swimming pool in Paris. Parisian showgirl Micheline Bernardini modeled the new fashion, which Réard dubbed “bikini,” inspired by the U.S. atomic test that took place off the Bikini Atoll in the Pacific Ocean on July 1st, just 4 days before.  There were two-piece swimsuits in the past but this was the first one that exposed a woman’s navel.

And to answer the question on everyone’s mind right now:  Ms. Bernardini has an “Innie.”